Those who send me flames in any shape or form, including those who make feeble attempts to disguise their viciousness as "constructive criticism" reserve the right to have their opinions publicly posted and jeered at by yours truly. So here are some people who have dissed the Smokey Girl. Also included will be junk mail, spam, and silly chain letters that show up in my mailbox.
PARANOIA MUCH?
Well, perfect spam for an X-Files fan, I suppose. Here's what I found in my mailbox today. Like the last piece of trash I received, it was addressed to beer_lover@hotmail.com. I think it goes without saying that I am not. This illustrious e-mail went on to explain how I could learn how to stalk people and obtain surveillance devices, all for the low price of $19.95...my future as CSM's heir will go ahead as planned.
ARE YOU BEING INVESTIGATED?
Has your personal and credit information been stolen? Has someone assumed your identity?
Would you like to locate an old friend, relative, military buddy or sweetheart?
Do you want to find a person's assets to collect a debt or judgement?
Would you like to check a person's criminal record before renting them space or giving them employment?
Would you like to fix up your credit bureau report, create a new identity or even disappear?
Ashlea's response...
No.
September 21, 1998
THERE'S GONNA BE HELL TO PAY FOR THIS ONE, PEOPLE!!!
Ashlea returned after a brief hiatus (read: X-Files Night at my mother's house) to find a clog of e-mails. Wonderful things for the most part - letters from e-mail penpals, positive feedback on her latest bit of angst, Loved.
And then she found THIS.
Attention! Warning! Adults Only! Warning! Adults Only!
Available NOW for only $9.95! Next 10 Days Only!
WORLD RECORD SEX!
Be There! See It Now On Video! Unbelievable ...But True!
You Won't Believe Your Eyes!!! [As Seen on the Howard Stern Show]
"The World's Biggest Gang Bang"
See sexy Annabel Chong as she sets the world Gang Bang Record in this fantastic video documentary that chronicles her 24 hour sexathon with 251 men engaging in sexual intercourse and oral sex with her! Don't worry, you won't have to stay up 24 hours to watch it all. We've selected only the most exciting and red hot scenes for you...all in breathtaking living color with plenty of extreme close-ups! This video is guaranteed to knock your socks off and leave you breathless! You've never seen anything like it! Annabel takes on five men at a time! 90 minutes! Order Today! Only $9.95 plus $3 shipping and handling [Total $12.95].
"GANG BANG II" The Record Breaker!!! Starring Jasmin St. Claire!
See Beautiful and Voluptious Jasmin St. Claire shatter Annabel's gang bang record by taking on 300 men in one 24 hour sex session! You won't believe your eyes at all the hot firey action that you will see as the new world record is established before your eyes as Jasmin takes on five men at a time for sexual intercourse and oral sex! Your friends will break down your door to see this video! You'll be the most popular guy in town! The action is truly unreal and you will see the best of it in living life-like color! Order Today and see Jasmin break the record! 90 minutes. Only $9.95 plus $3 shipping and handling [total $12.95].
(Pamela Lee Anderson, Traci Lords, some skater...it just goes ON and ON...)
EMAIL SPECIAL!
ORDER ANY FOUR VIDEOS AND GET THE FIFTH ONE FREE!!!
Your order will be shipped via First Class Mail. All Shipments in plain unmarked wrapper. For Priority Mail - Add $5 For Overnight Express - add $15
You can order by Phone, Fax, Mail or Email.
By deleting your unwanted E-Mail you waste one keystroke, yet by throwing away paper mail you waste our planet! SAVE THE TREES and support internet E-Mail instead of paper mail!
Ashlea's response...
Well, Ashlea doesn't know quite what to make of this one. While her sex life is not exactly...shall we say...exceptional...she has no need whatsoever to see Jasmin St. Claire do 300 men in 24 hours. In fact, Ashlea doesn't think that it is physically possible for ANY woman, even Jasmin, to do 300 men in 24 hours. She thinks this may be somewhat of an exaggeration. She doesn't even want to see Jasmin get it on with one man. ("Even if it's CSM, Ashlea?") As an art student, Ashlea has seen a great deal of nekkid bodies, and feels no overwhemling urge to see Jasmin's. Furthermore, Ashlea can obtain cheap, fast sex any time she wants, so she doesn't know why she would actually need to PAY to see SOMEONE ELSE do it.
So Ashlea is expected to believe that this is a RESPONSIBLE company because they are imploring her to save trees by reading their disgusting e-mail? She senses a wee bit of hypocrisy here. Sure, no problem corrupting youth, no problem exploiting women, but SAVE THE FUCKING TREES, why don't we? Ashlea objects to this company wasting, albeit temporarily, the little bit of space Hotmail allows her for messages. Now THAT'S a waste.
But what really gets her is that this arrived unsolicited on her e-mail. If she ever gets a hold of the person who gave this company her address, this individual will get a visit from the Black Ops. That's not a threat. Ashlea doesn't want anonymous porn companies putting her on their mailing lists. This is an American company that advises anyone under 21 to delete the e-mail immediately. (Due to the length of this message, Ashlea edited it.) In Canada, the legal age for buying porn is 18, so Ashlea is not terribly corrupted by (illegally) reading this e-mail. HOWEVER, she could just as easily be 10, and have no problem opening this message and reading it. Corruption much? She doesn't even mind that so much as the fact that it means that SOMEONE is giving out her e-mail address. So much for privacy. Ashlea knows that she is being watched - but she would just prefer not to be reminded of it.
September 12, 1998
Well, so far, people have been pretty nice to Ashlea, and she's only gotten one flame that's not really a flame. (She's gotten lots of other things she doesn't like, but she deleted those...more will come, she's sure...) Here is Ashlea's very first flame (although the author claims it isn't really a flame - the interpretation is up to you!). Out of courtesy to the author, whom Ashlea feels has some issues, she has censored some of the more personal things that this individual told her, and decided against printing this person's name. Ashlea received this after the first posting of "Second Chance" at Muldertorture Anonymous. (Yeah, her first posting ever...)
hello.
Well, i think you should reform what kind of writing you write.
While i was reading this work, you were putting your pain into Mulder.
However, i didn't for one second believe your story. It was cheesy, and
really rather lame. Then it hit me why i didn't hate it though. I
decieded not to flame you(this is constructive critisum)
, because in the story i could see you searching for the ideal father. You
said before the story you had a bad dad, so while writing this and putting
it through csm's point of view you made him perfect. The change in csm is
not realistic, neither is how you portray Mulder. What you need to do is
write about your own life, auto biographical. Don't use the xfiles as an
excuse to channel pain. ...[author writes some semi-personal stuff about her family which has been taken out to protect her privacy...she basically says how she has done autobiographical writing to channel her own pain.] My advice to you is to do the same. Because without my
own personal experience, i would perhaps not have been as kind. Your story
was to idealistic in, and having it told from csm's point of view was
pathetic.
F.Scott Fitzgerald one of my favorite authors playgerised his whole life.
He would have an experience, and then write about it as though it wasn't
his, even though it hurt him, he would pretend it didn't because if he have
it a character name like, 'Jay Gatzby' it wasn't his experience. If you
have ever read about him you know 'The Great Gatzby" when he talks of
Daisy, he means his wife. Although of his books, "Tender is the Night"
should really be called his autobiography.
Anyway, better luck with different writing.
Ashlea's response...
Ashlea sent this person back a long letter, basically justifying every detail of her story. She also informed the writer that her criticism might have been taken more seriously if she made use of a spelcheker. Maybee sum gramer help woldnt hav beeen out of plase eether. At any rate, Ashlea by no means considers "Second Chance" to be a perfect work - she considers it semi-embarrassing, actually. But she does not see at all what her troubled family history has to do with her capacity for writing fanfic. Nor does she see what F. Scott Fitzgerald's wife has to do with anything. But she wishes this individual luck as well, and is more than willing to mail her a handy pocket-dictionary, no questions asked.
What a vindictive bitch this Ashlea is! I can't believe ANYONE would stoop so low! Take me home!
