I can't think of anything I want to yell about now. If you have any ideas mail them to me.
This is great. We found this in a desk in my PreCalc class the other day. I don't know how to rate it but it's hilarious:
So...oh, yea, Yesterday was funny, because after you left, me and {Crossed out} & Joe were still there ya Know, and I didn't even know who the hell he was, and by then I was pretty much up there, so I was like, "Hey, who the hell are you?" He said he was Joe. And I was like, "Hey, isn't it ironic that I had a cousin named Joe who smoked a lot of weed? He just laughed. For a minute, I was starting to feel suspicious about him. "Hmm", I said. "Who is he? Where does he come from?" then I realized-it's just Joe, Goddammit! Get a hold of yourself {crossed out} I said to myself. "He reminds me of a punk/skater dude, who skateboards and & then beats people over the head with his skateboard. It's probably just because of his shaved head. It bothered me, though, how quiet he was. I began to think, again, that he was hiding something from us. That's when I realized, he's just ol' pot-smokin' Joe.
Here is a five paragraph essay written by "Bitter Truth". I by no means endorse the following and freely invite anyone to mail me a refute which I will post directly below this. The essay is, however, a legitimat rant and so I am posting it with no regrets and anyone who whines about it will have their whining posted here. The essay is a compilation of things that some people believe as has been written soley as a point-counterpoint in the hopes that Emily will write a counter-point, refuting all misconceptions.
For nearly as long as there have been humans there has been religion and nearly every religion on Earth believes in some kind of Devil. They believe this creature is not only the manifestation of everything evil but is also the source of all evil as well. Mankind has been misguided, however, and in fact if there is a devil than he is quite possibly a manifestation of evil but is in no way the source. The source of all evil is a 17 (written 12/12/99) year old girl who lives in Camelot, Falls Church, VA. Although many believe the Devil is the source of all evil the actual source of all evil is Emily Catherine Frazier as evidenced by her inate wish to cause hatred between people, her natural tendency to inflict great emotional pain and bitterness into the hearts of mankind, and her compulsion to lie whether or not it will help her.
Not nessicarily the manifestation of evil, Emily naturally creates evil feelings within those around her. A prime example of such power is a conversation between Phillip Marshall and Byron Who-The-Hell-Cares on AOL recently after Emily's breaking up with Phillip. In the converstion Emily teased and tricked both men into verbally assaulting each other. The end result was Phillip's victory. The frustrated Byron, again encouraged by Emily, felt he could heal his injured pride by challenging Phillip to a physical conflict. Phillip accepted his challenge and, to both Byron and Emily's suprise, gave directions to his house. Byron, helplessly outmatched, wisely withdrew his challange. At the end of the event Byron was bitter and Phillip was enraged, all due to the meddling of Emily.
Emily can instill negative emotions not merely by interaction, but indeed by simple proximity. Her never-ceasing, high pitched voice is enough to cause men and women alike to explode into violent acts. This creation of evil in others is, in fact, self-destructive to Emily as she is often the source of the resulting outbursts. Her tendancy to cause great hatred and grief in others can also be seen by her abrupt dismisal of Phillip, resulting in the man's torment, her draw out torture of Andy Biddle, and her interuption of many a romantic moment between many couples. Though not nessicarily intentional, any one of these acts can be taken as evidence of her ability to create evil.
A queen of gossip, Emily spreads lies as if such a thing were second nature to her. She compells people to believe her stories through feigned friendship or even through seemingly good natured sexual advances. The result of such actions can be catastrophic. Couples can be broken up, friendships destroyed, fights started, all because Emily Frazier felt compelled to tell things she knew to be false. Though not as direct as her other methods of creating evil this gossip can have longer lasting effects.
Emily Frazier has throughout her existance proven to be a decietful creator of evil. All the hate and sufferring in the world is no doubt her doing and it can only be concluded that if she had never existed than we might all be living an a paradise at this very moment. We can not view her as a manifestation of evil but it is known that she does manifest evil in the hearts of others. She is nothing short of the plauge, the pestilence that is withering the good souls of our race.
Ok, so today I was in the hall, talking to my girlfriend. The bell was about to ring to I hugged her to say good bye and all of a sudden this administrator of the Damned comes flying out of the abyss of the crowd an' he's all up in my face like, "No PDA!" Ok, hugging is not exactly the same thing as indecent behavior. Some people obviosly are oblivious to the wide line that seperates the two, like this admin. for example. So no public affection? What would he rather have? Public violence? Because if he keeps getting all up in my face that's exactly what he'll have. A whole lot of public violence directed in his general vicinity. Or perhaps the administrators want us to have no feelings at all. Maybe a new law was passed that I am sadly misinformed about. I mean, how am I supposed to learn about new rules if they aren't on the SOL's? So are we not aloud to smile anymore? Does that indicate a thought of affection? Does that make some people uncomforatable? Well I'm sorry if emotions haven't been bread out of the race yet but until they are please stay away from me you psycho-communistic administrators.
~Silver Lining
Remember back in the days when band was fun? When we hazed frosh with impunity? When trips were fun? When if your entire family died in a horrible flaming car wreck ten feet from you then you were allowed to miss a rehearsal? Gone, all gone. Stolen by the band fanatic, Mr. Thomas. I must admit that he is a superb conducter and that I have learned a lot from him since he came to FCHS. That may be, however, because he dictates that band must be my life. After all, band is his life so why shouldn't we be more like him. As an example I will use the ABC Book Debacle. You in GT/AP classes may recall that last fall it happened that an AP Hist essay and the English ABC book were due on the same Tuesday. So we all asked Mr. T if we could skip one 2-hour long marching band rehearsal which was not terribly important. He said if we did he would drop our grades. His reasoning? We should have done it Saturday. Gee, I guess we should have. Where was I anyway...? Oh, that's right. The MARCHING BAND COMPETITION YOU DAFT BUGGER!. Some people need to be slapped uncontious on occasion and he is one of them.
~Band Playa'
Ok, everyone know's that the world is filled with unintelligent dingbats. They roam the world in search of who knows what, going who knows where, and thinking well, not thinking anything at all actually. Now, most intelligent people are thinking, why not eliminate the stupid race? We've tried before, it just doesn't work. As long as stupid people have repruductive organs, there will always be more stupid people. The only fathomable way of getting rid of these unintelligent bastards is by getting rid of their sex organs, and reproductive ability, but that only solves half the problem. The main problem is a little something I call the "stupid touch". It is highly contagious. You've heard of the golden touch, or the hand of mitis, this is very similar to that. Whenever a smart group of people come in contact with just one stupid person, they become infected.
That one idiotic moron spreads stupid germs to any person it comes in contact with. The only way to get rid of these bastards is to ship them all off to an underground facility in the middle of the Artic Ocean. Why the Artic Ocean you ask? Well it's simple. The Pacific Ocean has been totaly clogged with "middle of nowhere" casses, the Atlantic is reserved for lost civilizations, and the Indian Ocean well, I don't like that Ocean. Now, it will take a highly organized group of intelligent personnel to ship the morons to the Artic facility. The idiots will need to captured by one group, sedated by another group, shipped by yet another group, and finally kept in the facility by another group. The portion of the Artic they are contained in will have to be kept seperate from the rest of the Artic, we don't want any world wide conamination problems. The way to do this? Giant snow globe. The only problem with this solution is, that all the people who help out will also have to be contained. We don't want any possible chance of one stupid person getting out of confinement. Now, this may seem impossible, but there is one other, simpiler solution. We can all just sit around and rot our asses in front of our high-tech technology and wait for the stupid people to come get us. I most likely suspect this to be the outcome. For anyone who like to stay smart, please join me in my underground facility where we can be intelligent and watch dirt decompose.
The choice is yours!
~Donna
If you would like to be a guest rambler then you can mail me your rant and I'll rate it and post it.
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