Part of Simon Phipp's Home Page

A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate

their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a

confession to make, I'm not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger Woods the golfer?"

"Yeah."

"Well he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with

him." The husband and wife then make passionate love. When they get done,

the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

"What are you doing?" asks the wife.

The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get

some food."

"Tiger wouldn't do that. "

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love with

his

wife a second time. When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the

phone.

"What are you doing?" She asks.

The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to

get some food."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it one more time."

The guy slams down the phone and goes back to bed and makes love to his

wife one more time. When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags

himself

over to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"

"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods to find out what's par for this damn hole...