Part of Simon Phipp's Home Page

This was an "Actual Question" given on a University of Washington

chemistry midterm.

"Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Support your answer with proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas

cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some

variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we

need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they

are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to

Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different

religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state

that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not

belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all

souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect

the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's

Law states that in order for temperature and the pressure in Hell to stay

the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls

enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until

All Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of

souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell

freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms Therese Banyan during my

Freshman year, "That it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with

you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in

that area, then (2) cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic.

This student got the only A.