Why Kosh could never be anything other than an Ambassador to B5...

by Greg Tannahill


Cook

Manager: I see you're baking a cake. How do you think it will turn out?
Kosh: In fire.


Carpark Attendant

Customer: Ok, $3 an hour. Hmm, how much do I owe? Um, mister attendant, how long have I been here?
Kosh: You have always been here.
Customer: What? You're insane.
Kosh: Good.


Opinion Pollster

Manager: Ok, people, get out on the streets and phones. We want to know how many people are in favour of legalising abortion.
Kosh: The avalanche has started. It is too late for the pebbles to vote.


Humanitarian

Manager: How should we raise money to help war victims in Yugoslavia?
Kosh: They are a dying people; we should let them pass.
Manager: Are you insane?
Kosh: Yes.


Car Salesman

Customer: I'm interested in buying that car. What is it?
Kosh: Efficient.
Customer: Yes, but what make is it?
Kosh: It has always been here.
Customer: You don't want to sell it?
Kosh: You are not ready.
Customer: Look, what do you want for it?
Kosh: Can you help me understand you?
Customer: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Kosh: Never ask that question.
Customer: Then how am I supposed to buy it?
Kosh: We take no interest in the affairs of others.
Customer: I don't understand you.
Kosh: Understanding is a three-edged sword.
Customer: What the hell are you saying?
Kosh: You seek meaning...? Then listen to the music, not the song.
Customer: Look, here, I'm drawing up a contract, I'll pay $200,000 for the car, you can just sign here.
Kosh: A stroke of the brush does not guarantee art from the bristles.
Customer: Just sign, would you?
Kosh: You have forgotten something.
Customer: I'm sorry, just sign PLEASE.
Kosh: (signs)
Customer: That's good, now I believe the car is mine.
Kosh: Your belief does not enter into it. We have a contract.
Customer: But the contract says the car's mine...
Kosh: For the first time your mind is quiet enough to hear me.
Customer: Huh? What? Look, I'll just take the car now...
Kosh: (as customer drives away) And so it begins...


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This page is maintained by Alys and was last updated on 14 February, 1997. 1