Eliminating Scott

The Scene: The luxurious pleasure apartments of the aus.sf.babylon5 station.

The Undead Scott is reclining on a couch, watching, through the wide glass windows, the moon pass overhead, and sadly remembering the wondrous times he had before he was forcibly separated from the charming, beautiful, delectable Delenn. He hears a gentle, sensual swish of cloth behind him, and turns to behold an exquisite sight. The fair Delenn is walking towards him, a beauteous smile upon her face.

"Delenn!" he cries, enraptured with joy. "You've come back to me!"

"Yes, Scott, to you, and to no one but you." She stretches out her hand to him and, hardly daring to believe the reality that his eyes reveal, he reaches to touch her. Their hands meet and clasp, and his heart pounds with delight. She draws him up from the couch and in to a nearby, secluded room.

Centred in the room is a bath formed from marble, flecked with gold. It is full near to overflowing with warm, scented water, strewn with rose petals that fragrance the air with an aroma nearly as bewitching as that of the lady herself. With the gentlest of pressure she propels him towards the bath, and rests her hands upon the buttons at his chest.

He gazes into her eyes lovingly, lost to the world, and as she sees the depth of his enchantment, she PUSHES and with a choked-off cry he falls back into the water. As he comes up gasping for air, the figure before him pulls off a wig, discards a fake skull bone, and behold! 'tis the Lady Alys, grinning with evil delight at the prospect of fulfilling the wishes of her master the Troll King.

Scott's cry of despair turns to one of horror and pain as the water penetrates his clothes and begins to *burn*. Above his cries he hears a malevolent chuckle. "'Tis the greatest bane of the undead, Scott. Holy water! Yes, water that the great JMS has but recently bathed in! Never more shall you aspire for the favours of Delenn, she belongs to one and one only, and always will!"

Scott's screams die away as he slowly dissolves, and when nothing is left but a thin greasy scum on the surface of the water, Alys bends down, grasps the plug, and pulls. All that was Scott drains away, never to be seen again.

What a way to go. The old drowning-in-the-depths-of-my-enchantment trick! That's the third time I've fallen for that this week. Would you believe, the second time? How about .... never mind.

<SCOTT BODY=0 BACKGROUND="STATION_PLUMBING"></SCOTT>

Oh, dear. Excorporeal again. Bugger. Back to the drawing board. Can't draw - no hands. How am I going to operate my digital watch now? I have no mouth and I must scream. What is this chessboard doing lying on the beach? And why does this Pak'Mara-looking fellow keep talking to me IN CAPITALS ?

Hmmm. Something of a setback, I'll admit.

Scott's atoms flow into the waste water system, are somewhat purified and passed eventually into the hydroponics. The plants in the garden are afflicted with a brief shudder, which puzzles the gardeners for a bit, but they soon quieten.

Alys walks triumphantly into the Maze, to meet with some of her cohorts. Now was it left, right left left right? Funny, she doesn't remember the Maze being like this.

2 hours and a left hand wall search later, Alys is forced to conclude that something is very wrong as 10 000 hedge leaves rustle with revenge...