- Those solar collecting fins sticking down make it look like a big plow. Maybe they have to plow a really big field.
- You could balance it on it's end in [insert Capital City name] main square and call it a national monument.
- Put it in your back yard and fill it with plants. It would make a great greenhouse.
- Fill it with plaster and sell the Galaxy's largest souveneirs. Babylon casts. That would keep your kiddies occupied painting! (I'm sure you've all seen those dinky plaster casts kids love painting)
- Sell it for scrap.
- Use the solar collecters to make a solar powered aircraft. A really big one.
- Fill it with booze and open the Galaxy's biggest bar.
- Increase the spin and hire out as a centrifuge - bulk orders only.
- Put really big engines on it and use it to battering ram 'recalcitrant' planets.
- Paint it black except for the words: RAMA on the side and send it back to the 20th Century to orbit Sol for a while.
- Arm the Starfuries with paint guns and have target practise with it. Get an arts grant so you can buy more paint. Get the Australian National Gallery to buy it. Hey, they bought 'Blue Poles' didn't they?
- Give it to Mr Ironheart (He's the only one big enough so far) to LART the shadows with.(ie he holds the docking area end and thwacks the battlecrabs with the 'spikey' end.)
- Use it as a posthole digger.
- Magnetize it and collect debris. If (when, actually, park it near a useful jumpgate) the odd 'ship gets pulled in charge them revenue to turn the electromagnets off.
- Go trawling for shadowships using Starfuries as bait. (Ever notice how Starfuries look a bit like grappling hooks?)
a) open up a jump point
b) send 'furie down it attached to big steel cable
c) send Nyaah Nyaah Neer Nyaah! You can't get us signals
d) When battlecrab gloms onto 'furie reel it in.
- Fill it half full with water and spin it really fast and open the Galaxy's largest swimming pool.
- You're always leaving your first space station in your other pants.
- Universes' biggest butt plug.
- Upgrade for the Narn Bat Squad.
- Play baseball with the Death Star.
- Use it to plug up the plot holes in Independance Day
- Crash it into Parliment House
- Filing Cabinet for government documents.
- That big a centrifuge could make a whole country all giddy at once.
- Two words. Sex Aid.
- Fill it with ink, shove a round asteroid in one end.
- Replacement prosthetic for the One Armed Man.
- Get 31 like it, carve them into chess pieces.
- Toilet roll holder.
- New CPU case for Hactar.
- Rolling pin for one BIG pizza
- The bottle for an awful lot of genies (do do. do do do de do do )
- Audition as a spark plug
- Make several copies and taunt B5ers with them
- Convert the ship to left hand drive
- Convert it to right hand drive three months later. Blame Kosh "It has always been this way"
- Screw it onto the middle bit of DS9 and have a very attractive lampshade. (oooh I'm in trub now)
- It has always been stolen.
- Oneupmanship against Sisko (Mine's bigger than yours! and it's got non bipedal aliens!)
- That's one really, really really big Swiss Army knife (So what if you got a thing for removing stones from horse hoofs, I got a fleet of StarFuries in mine!)
- Paint it red and white and launch it as the CocaCola MEGA Value sized bottle.
- punch holes it it and play it as an instrument
- Add it to your fun-park as one of those big (REAL big) rolling rooms you have to try and walk through.
- bung a jump drive on it so it can "boldy go where no man has gone before"
- bung a jump drive on it so Sheridan can fulfill his dream of having a bigger ship than Stinky
- fill it with coloured beans and use it as a kaleidoscope(sp?).
- Spin it length-ways to see what happens.
- use it as a salt-shaker
- Fill it with ink so you can write notes to God
- poke it into Za'ha'dum and suck all of the shadows out.
- The galaxy's largest LazerZone playing field
- Ship it to Queensland to go up agaist the Big Banana, Giant Merino etc.
- New flagpole for parliament house
- Quarrantine zone for Wesley Crusher ( weld ALL the exits, just to be sure )
- Pressurise the interior, turn it into a huge can of Mortein to get the shadows with
- Paint Bab5 purple,then find Babylon4 and use them as opposing bases in the Drazi wars.
- Cut it in half, use both as giant speed humps.
- Use it as a sheltered workshop for victims of BWS
- Pick your nose with it
- Put it in a sandpit and make castles with it
- Put some flowers in the forward docking bays and make it a plant Holding thing
- Gigantic head balancing thing
- Intergalactic asteroid throwing target thing
- Eat it to die
- Throw it at people to kill them
- Swing it round really quick then throw it and see how far it goes Thing
- Space Station
- Fit it out with a suction motor and bingo! The universe's biggest dustbuster!
- With an antenna that big, you might be able to pick up community tv!
- A handy storage space for all of Bill Gates' spare change.
- A toothpick for a Star Eater.
- The universe's biggest bong. (What, you thought they were growing FOOD in the O'Neil colony? :)
- "Tired of stumbling around you planet in the dark? Use the new Bab-lite torch!"
- Club lock for a Super Star Destroyer.
- Reverse the suction motor in #31, put a meteoroid in the other end and you've got a planetoid peashooter!
- A ballpoint pen for signing your latest terraforming masterpiece.
- "Is that a spce station in your pocket, or are you just VERY happy to see me?"
- Play 'Inter-galactic spin-the-bottle'
- Galaxy's largest can of Foster's
- Target practice for Centauri Heavy cruisers - LIKE DREAM ON!
- The new barrel for Jo-Beth to sink her hands (amongst other things) into on Pluck-a-duck.
- A Cocktail shaker for making very large Vodka Martini's, <Foghorn Leghorn> I say 'shaken' that is - not stirred! </Foghorn>
- Collateral for a car loan, (along with your first born male child)
- Unusual Xmas tree decoration
- Nappy washer for the star baby at the end of 2001 - A Space Oddessy.
- Somewhere to hide away from Jeff Kennett, Pauline Hansen , <insert annoying person's name here> etc..
- Exotic coffee table ornament / conversation piece
- Costume Jewellery
- Tooth pick
|
Go back to the
Archive of Amusing Posts.