FURLOUGH (1/1) Rated G
Date: 6 Dec 1995

OK, I admit it. I was a political scientist before I was an X Phile.
Actually, I still am a political scientist. So, the recent furlough of
the Federal Government was just too good to pass up. If politics
isn't your thing, move on. This contains no sex, no violence (oh,
some violent thoughts, but no violence), not even too much UST.
Just what it's like to be considered 'non-essential'.

Standard disclaimer: It ain't mine, but I took it anyway. I won't
hurt it, I won't charge for it, and I'll put it back when I'm done.
Satisfied, Mr. Carter? Thanks.

FURLOUGH
by Vickie Moseley
vmoseley@fgi.net

Dana Scully's Apartment
November 15, 1995
7:35 am

Dana Scully stepped out of the shower and was greeted with the
ringing of the telephone. She threw on her robe and grabbed for
the phone in the hallway. "Scully," she said, by way of greeting.

"Go back to bed, Scully," a very disgusted voice said on the
other end of the line. "We've been furloughed."

"Mulder? What are you talking about? Where are you?" she
asked, suddenly very confused.

"I'm talking about the budget war, Scully. I got to the office a
few minutes ago. The place is locked up tight, except for the
loading dock doors. The one guard politely informed me that I was
NOT on the 'essential personnel' list and that I had the day off. And
probably the next few days off, to boot. At the moment I'm in my
car trying to figure out which window in the Rayburn Building
belongs to Gingrich so I can throw a brick through it."

"Mulder, it's 'unseemly' for an employee of the Justice
Department to make threats against the property of the United
States Government," she chuckled. "Come on over here. We can
discuss this over bagels and coffee."

"On my way," he grumbled and broke the connection.

By the time Fox Mulder arrived at her door, Scully had slipped
on some jeans and a sweater and thawed out an assortment of
bagels. "Hi," she said cheerfully as he slumped down in one of her
kitchen chairs. "Here, this should take the edge off." She handed
him a cup of coffee with a lick of whipped cream on top.

He eyed the cup suspiciously. "Scully, I don't usually take
'whipped cream' with my coffee." He sipped at the cup anyway and
broke into a grin. "Of course, 'Irish Coffee' is another matter."

She slid in the chair across from him and sipped her own cup.
"Hey, if we're 'non essential', why not act like it?" she grinned
mischievously. She watched in fascination as her partner wolfed
down two large sesame seed bagels without even taking a deep
breath. His metabolism amazed her. <His body is an X File,> she
mused to herself. He drained the coffee cup and finally looked
across at her.

"So, what are we gonna do here, sit in your kitchen and get
drunk?" he asked. "Not that I have anything better to do, but
maybe we should think about it a minute first, huh?"

"It's going to be hard to get *too* drunk, Mulder. That was the
last two shots of Irish whiskey in the place. I was saving it for a
special occasion, and well, it just seemed appropriate today." She
pulled down the coffee pot from the counter and refilled his cup,
this time without additives. "I don't know. We _are_ college
graduates, Mulder. We should be able to think of something to do
that doesn't include work. What do you normally do in your spare
time?"

He blinked at her. "What's _spare_ about time, Scully? I don't
do anything in my spare time. Sometimes I watch TV, but I refuse
to watch TV all day, and especially if we end up being off for more
than one day. I would go crazy!" He considered his options for a
moment. "Want to go running with me?" Usually Scully declined
such offers. His legs were a lot longer and he set a pace much
faster than she liked. This time, though, she was waiting for him.

"Sure. Why not? But you aren't exactly dressed for it," she
pointed out. He was still dressed for the office, suit, tie, wingtips.
"Maybe the outfit might slow you down, though."

"Are you _trying_ to be a wiseass this morning, Scully, or is it
the whiskey talking? I happen to have my gym bag in the car. I
was going to go running later this afternoon at the track," he
frowned for a moment. "Back when I had access to a track, that
is."

Scully shook her head. He was taking this whole thing too hard.
<God, I hope I'm never so tied up with my job that a free day is
considered punishment,> she thought. "Well, go get your bag while
I'm changing. I'll clean the kitchen, you get dressed and we'll go for
a run."

They started out at a leisurely pace, at least for Mulder. He
didn't want to outrun her, so he held himself back. They ran
through the residential area where Scully's apartment building was,
then to a little park nearby. Once in the park, Scully flashed him a
smile and took off. It took him a few seconds to catch up to her.
>From that point on, she carried the pace. After five or so laps
around the park, she slowed them down to a trot.

"Hey, you've been holding out on me. When did you take up
running?" he asked, trying not to let her know that he was a little
winded.

"A couple of months ago. After we got back from New
Mexico, actually. I just needed time to. . .I don't know. Running
helps me clear my head. I try not to think too much about. . .you
know, stuff." She slowed down even further and started to stretch
out.

He watched her for a minute. That was precisely why _he_
liked to run. It had started out as physical therapy after a basketball
injury in high school and he became addicted to the 'runner's high'
as it's called. When he thought about it a while, he had been
running every day since he had returned from New Mexico.
Somedays, it felt like the only thing keeping him sane.

"Well, that was my contribution for the day. What do you want
to do?" he asked as they made their way back to Scully's apartment.

"Well," Scully said, thinking for a moment. "Nah, you'd never
go along with it," she decided, shaking her head vigorously.

"Try me. I mean, I didn't think you'd go for a run, and you did.
Don't think you know everything about me, Scully. I might surprise
you," he grinned at her.

She grinned in return. "Mulder, I could live to be 200 and never
know _everything_ about you! OK, it's November 15 and I have
tons of Christmas shopping to do. And it seems like we always get
tied up on a case right about the first of December and I never get
to finish all my shopping. I am tired of giving my nephews gift
certificates from Barnes and Nobles every year for Christmas. Let's
go to the mall and I'll get it all out of the way, now."

He grimaced like she had just shot him, again. "The 'mall',
Scully? You mean that hugh place filled with nothing but mothers
dragging sticky preschoolers around on leashes where they sell
overpriced items that will eventually sit in someone's closet until
*they* sell them at some charity white elephant sale? Come on,
Scully. Not the mall!"

She was shaking her head again. "See, Mulder. I knew you
wouldn't want to go."

He regarded her for a moment. He hated the mall. Hell, he
hated shopping in any form, but the mall reminded him of
something devised during the Spanish Inquisition. He kept wanting
to go up to one of the security guards and promise to be a good
Christian if they'd just let him out. <No more witchcraft--I swear
it!> But then, if he couldn't go to work, maybe that was just the
punishment he deserved. Non-essential personnel, indeed! "OK,
I'll go with you to the mall," he grumbled, reluctantly. "But this
better include plenty of breaks. Cookie breaks, pie breaks, lunch
break, coffee break, I better be *stuffed* to the gills when we
leave."

"As stuffed as a sticky preschooler, Mulder. I promise. And I
won't even make you wear a leash," she laughed.

They ended up going to the mall in Bethesda. It was packed,
but then so had the one in Silver Springs been, and the one in
Tyson's Corner, and the one in Alexandria. . . It quickly occurred
to both Mulder and Scully that Washington, DC was indeed a
government town, and was filled with 'non-essential' personnel.
Who all decided to go Christmas shopping on their first day of
furlough. But at least at Bethesda, they found a parking place
within sight of the mall entrance.

Once inside, Scully took out a small notebook. "OK, first stop,
FAO Schwartz." She walked over to the directory in the middle of
the corridor. Mulder followed, trying to avoid being knocked flat
by the crowd. Naturally, they were at the entrance farthest from
the toy store.

"Scully, Patton had an easier time getting through Belgium than
we're going to have getting to FAO Schwartz," Mulder growled as
he noted the distance involved.

Scully smiled up at him patiently. "Mulder, there is a Mrs.
Fields Cookies, a Starbucks coffee, two ice cream shoppes, and a
Ruby Tuesdays Cafe, all between here and FAO Schwartz."

His scowl quickly reversed itself and turned into a grin. "Now,
we're shopping!"

They made it to FAO Schwartz Toys after a half hour of jostling
crowds and Mulder stopping for an ice cream cone. Scully
consulted the notebook once again, silently considering the items
listed. She had been 'researching' her nephews tastes since last
Christmas and she had a pretty good idea of what things they
wanted and she could agree to get them. While she was studying
her notes, Mulder was wandering the store.

"Hey Scully, check it out," he shouted over the crowd from an
aisle over. He had a small acrylic square with hundreds of little
metal rods, resembling the bristles on a hairbrush. When he had her
attention, he carefully place it against his face and stuck his tongue
out. Being very careful not to jiggle the square, he removed it from
his face. There, in the pins, was a perfect impression of his tongue
and nose. "I think I'll get one of these for Frohike!" he declared
excitedly.

Scully bit her lip to keep from reacting. <And I should consider
getting one for you,> she mused. She lost track of him again when
she went down the building block aisle. Even with the crowd, she
was able to find the Lego (tm) set her godson had been begging for
and the Lincoln Logs (tm) she had decided on for her youngest
nephew. She walked up to a cash register and patiently waited in
line. The line from hell. Two women in front of her were deep in
conversation.

"No, he's got to be married. He's got that 'married' look," said
the shorter (and 'dumpier') of the two women.

"He's not wearing a ring, Janet. I checked his left hand," said
the taller of the two. "I'm going to ask him to lunch and see what
he says."

"Karen, you do not come to a toy store to pick up men! We're
here to get your nephew a Christmas present," Janet scolded.

"So, I'm getting him an 'uncle'. What's so bad about that?"
replied Karen with a grin. "Besides, where do you go to shop for
men these days, Janet? The bar certainly isn't a good idea, who
knows what you'll catch. You need to go someplace where you
find guys with a good salary. Bet he's furloughed. He looks
intelligent, probably upper management, too. Those are not cheap
shoes he's wearing, Janet! I've priced them in Foot Locker. Levis
Dockers, Ralph Lauren polo shirt. Definitely good breeding stock--
lots of community property potential," she added with a leacherous
grin. "You hold my place, I'm going over there." She turned so
suddenly that she bumped into Scully, who was standing there,
trying not to overhear the conversation. "Excuse me," said Karen
gruffly. "I forgot to pick up something," she added, for Janet's
benefit.

Scully was trying to ignore the whole exchange, but curiosity
got the better of her. She very slowly turned her head to follow
'Karen' as she made her way over toward. . .Mulder? Mulder,
meanwhile, was innocently having the pants beat off him by a ten
year old at the Sega (tm) display. Suddenly, Scully was VERY
interested in what was going on.

She could feel herself blushing, but had no idea why. So what if
her partner were to decide to ditch her for some woman who was
obviously after one thing: a ring. So what if her best friend was
about to be sucked into a trap that he had no idea was waiting for
him. He was always telling her that he was a grown up, he was able
to take care of himself. So what if he were to fall head over heels
over some woman who *deliberately* set out to pick him up,
'breed' with him and then take all his money. . .in a toy store? In all
honesty, it was none of her business.

But then again, if she hadn't dragged him to the mall, he
wouldn't be in danger, she considered. It would be her fault if he
ended up chained to this woman for life, or worse yet, divorced
from her and paying child support until retirement. Dana took a
minute to look her over. Karen was just the kind Mulder could fall
for: tallish, leggy, blonde, big. . .chested. And Scully was just
going to stand by and do absolutely nothing. <No, Dana. If she
were a mutant, you'd save him. And when you think about it, she's
pretty close to either a Eugene Tooms or an Eve. So act like she's
a mutant and get it over with.> Scully stepped out of line, much to
the glee of the customers behind her, and walked over to Mulder.

Karen had just engaged him in conversation when Scully
stepped up. 'Soooo, you're furloughed, too? I think it's just
deplorable, how they treat hard working civil servants these days!"
she cooed. "And your with the FBI! I would consider that
'essential', if nothing else is." She was, nah couldn't be, batting her
thick black eyelashes, for effect. That was too much for Scully.

"Sweetheart," Scully interrupted. "I think I saw these cheaper in
the Toys R Us ad last Sunday. Let's go on. I know how 'daddie
cakes' hates waiting for his 'love bunny'," she purred in his ear, just
loud enough to Karen to catch it. <Pulling this off is harder than I
thought,> she admitted to herself.

Mulder almost dropped his teeth. But the look in her eyes was
one he had grown to know all too well. It was the same one she
used when he was in extreme mortal danger. He flashed her a
confused look, but decided to play along. "OK, 'honeybun'. Let's
go." He turned to Karen, who was fuming by this point. "Nice
talking to you," he muttered as Scully pulled him out of the store by
the elbow.

Once in the mall corridor, Mulder stopped dead. "Mind telling
me what all that was about?" he demanded.

"You were about to be 'picked up'," Scully replied in a hushed
voice.

"So? I wouldn't have dumped you, Scully. I would have gotten
her phone number and called later. Maybe," he added, but now he
wasn't so sure. He had never realized how jealous Scully was. This
was turning into an interesting trip after all.

"She didn't want a 'date', Mulder," Scully retorted and pulled
him on through the crowd.

"Then 'what' did she want," he hissed back, leaning over so she
could hear above the noise.

"She was shopping for an 'uncle' for her nephew," Scully hissed
back. "And you look like you have 'great community property
potential'," she added just to see what he'd do. She smiled as she
got the satisfaction of watching him turn white as a sheet.

"Community property? What are you. . ." he stuttered.

"I overheard her talking about you to her friend. Sizing you up
like a prize bull, would be a better description. I distinctly
remember a comment about 'good breeding stock'," Scully smirked
at him.

"I owe you big, don't I?" he asked sheepishly.

"'Owe me big? Yep, I think that about sums it up. Yeah, that
sums it up nicely," she smiled up at him. "Come on, Mulder. Let's
go over to Woodies. I want to get something nice for my brother."

Woodward and Lothrop's was a very large, very crowded
department store. The men's department was a little less crowded,
but that only meant that not *every* aisle was clogged. Scully was
looking at the wallets when she heard Mulder call to her. <Now
what?>

"Here, how's this?" he asked. He was holding a very nice
burgundy paisley tie with matching suspenders. It was exactly what
she was looking for.

She looked at him in shocked silence. When she finally found
her voice, she sputtered. "Mulder! That's. . .that's beautiful!
Where on earth did you find them?"

"On that table over there. And they're on sale, apparently. I
think there's a sales clerk behind the display counter." He finally
noticed her amazed expression. "What? You don't like the color?"

"No, no that's not it at all. Mulder," she didn't know how to say
it without hurting his feelings. She finally couldn't stand it, she had
to ask. "Mulder, why did you pick that set?"

"It's classic. Burgundy goes with navy, grey, black, some
browns. And paisley is always in style. And the matching
suspenders are a power trip. Very big on the Hill," he answered,
sounding like a fashion consultant.

She eyed him suspiciously. "Mulder, if you know so much
about fashion, why don't you ever 'display' any of the knowledge?"

He shook his head and clucked his tongue at her. "Scully,
Scully, Scully. I wear my ties to make a statement. Not because
I'm a fashion idiot. I just hate having to wear 'bureaucratic issue' all
the time. Women have a real advantage over men. When you wear
slacks, it says something. When you wear a suit with a short skirt,
it says something else. The only way a man gets to express his
individuality is through his neckwear." He considered the tie and
suspenders he was still holding. "But you shouldn't be making
those kind of decisions for your brother. Let him get expressive by
himself, if he wants. You should pick something a little more
practical, and this is it."

"That 'Spooky' title is well deserved," Scully muttered under her
breath as she followed him to the display counter.

The rest of the trip through the stores were as successful. By
the time they had knocked off half of Scully's list, Mulder's arms
were loaded with sacks and his stomach was growling. "I
remember someone promising to keep me 'stuffed'," he grumbled.

Scully glanced at her watch. It was almost 1:30. "You're right,
Mulder. It's past lunch time. Let's head over to Ruby Tuesdays
and grab a bite to eat.

Ruby Tuesdays was just starting a slight lull, which is the only
reason the two agents were seated before Thanksgiving. The place
was still crowded, but they got a small table for two right near the
window facing the interior of the mall. Mulder ordered his usual, a
cheeseburger with the works, and Scully settled for French onion
soup and the salad bar. When she was seated again, with her salad,
she noticed the disgruntled expression on her partner.

"What's the matter, Mulder?" she asked, scooping up German
potato salad onto her fork. He looked like the world was about to
end.

"I was just thinking. What if this thing doesn't end? What if we
get furloughed for weeks? Scully, the guard wouldn't even let me
in the building! All my files are down there, all my notes, my
journal, all of it. I even left my November issue of 'Celebrity Skin'
down there last night. I had no idea it would be held hostage this
morning!" He picked at the cocktail napkin under his iced tea. "I
really hate this, Scully. It's not fair!"

Scully looked over at the man in front of her. She knew how
much of a workaholic he was. He spent more time in the office
than he did at his apartment. He was always there on weekends,
unless they were on a case. He even went in on holidays, unless she
dragged him to her mother's. This was really hitting him hard.

"Mulder, this can't last. I mean, we are the Federal Government,
for Pete's sakes! This is just politics. Gingrich and Clinton hate
each other's guts and this is their way of having a p. . .," she
stopped short of what she was about to say. It was one of her
father's terms. She thought a second, then shrugged. "A power
contest. Don't let it get you down. I'm sure they will have
everything back to normal before we know it."

"How do you know that, Scully? How do you know?" he asked
softly. "We work for an illusion, Scully. That's all government is,
after all, an illusion. It works because the people believe the
illusion, just like the Emperor's new clothes. And now, here we sit,
all the 'non-essential-personnel', doing nothing while the rest of the
world continues to turn on it's axis, just like always. What
difference does it make that we're not in the office today?
Absolutely none, Scully. Absolutely none. And pretty soon the
people will see that the Emperor has been naked all these years, and
it will all be over. And then, where will we be?"

"Mulder, I think you are taking this to an extreme, don't you? I
mean, sure, we can get by with shutting down the government for a
couple of days. Maybe a couple of weeks, even. But much longer
than that, and the society starts to break down. Mulder,
government really does provide a service. Actually, several
services on several levels. Take air traffic controllers. . ."

"The airlines could get together and do that job themselves if
they wanted to, Scully," Mulder interrupted.

"OK," she conceded. "How about the postal system. . ."

"E-mail and Federal Express have made the postal system the
haven of junk mail, Scully and I truly doubt anyone is going to miss
their junk mail. . ." he countered.

"School lunch. . ."

"The states have all but taken over most of that already, since
the Federal government has started cutting back. . ." he said
shaking his head sadly.

"Social security," she said more forcefully.

"It's almost bankrupt as it is, Scully, nobody expects much from
that system these days."

"Mulder!" she hissed, trying not to raise her voice, "We work
for the Federal Bureau of Investigation! Somebody has got to
NEED US!"

He sat there is shocked silence for a minute. "I guess we do
catch criminals," he agreed softly. Then he looked at her with a
sheepish smile. "It's just sort of scary, you know?"

She looked at his sad hazel eyes and started to giggle. Really
giggle, and it turned into laughs that she couldn't hold in. In
minutes, he was laughing too, but he had no idea why.

"Scully, WHAT is so damn funny?" he asked as he tried to catch
his breath.

She struggled to get control of herself. Finally, she was just
snickering, and she could at last trust herself to speak. "Mulder,
think about it. You track serial killers. You chase UFO's for a
hobby. You have encountered the most disgusting genetic
mutations ever imagined. You almost died after you fought what
you still believe to be an alien life form! And you are oblivious to it
all. But the day they decide to close down the government, YOU
are SCARED! Now, that is pretty damn funny, if I do say so!" and
she dissolved into another fit of giggles.

He was laughing again, too, but trying very hard to look
offended. "I'm glad my personal demons bring you so much
pleasure, Agent Scully," he shot back at her. He took the check off
the table and stood up and took her hand. "C'mon, Scully. Let's
blow this pop stand."

"Where are we going, oh, non-essential one," she teased.

"Well, we are going to finish your shopping, making sure we
investigate all the items on MY list for Santa, and then, we are
going to the sneak preview at the Cineplex down the road."

"Sneak preview of what, Mulder?" she asked, helping gather all
her packages.

"The American President. We can throw popcorn at the screen.
Should be fun." He looked like he was feeling better.

"Mulder, with you, most things that I used to find awful are
fun!" she laughed. "So, what if the government really was shut
down permanently. What would YOU do for a living?"

"I don't know," he replied, as a devilish twinkle entered his eyes.
"Maybe get a job as a male model for Saks Fifth Avenue. . ."

The peals of laughter echoed off the walls.

The end.

1