Poems

Last night I was pondering silently;
I was thinking and my brain came to this:
Hope's the denial of reality.
The realization struck like a fist.

When you think that its all good and its a bash,
When you think you are on top of the world,
It turns out that you're just a stupid laugh.
And now you see how the Earth's plan unferled.

But now it came to me, another thought;
Why is it me who always hasta lose?
Since its only cheating if you get caught,
The next time you'll be the one to abuse.

I could get my revenge and walk away,
Then the truth about the world is that crime does pay.

I, Alone

Alone, lost and wandering through a trail,
Looking all around for an opening,
Hoping that it will add life to this tale,
But nothing seems to end this suffering.

I walk this path by myself, all alone.
Alone, I suffered past the path behind.
Turning around, I saw my path and groaned,
Nothing was there, but what did I hope to find?

But then in front of me, I saw a light.
Hope struck me like an arrow; she was there.
I saw another wanderer this night.
She's close, but out of reach; its just not fair.

I shut my eyes; I feel my heart grow cold.
Then I continue walking through the mold.

Untitled

What's wrong with the world? Where have we gone wrong?
Little boys and girls cry themselves to sleep.
Don't say that its caused by tv or song.
The source of these problems are old and deep.

People are for themselves and are shallow.
Hearts are broken, lives are torn, nobody cares.
They say, "its not me." Our lives are hollow.
Now reality is worse than our fears.

Friends don't believe in themselves anymore.
Joy is gone. Leave me, a common command,
Is uttered and off they go, out the door.
And I try to help; I reach out my hand.

But it is useless; I can do nothing.
I sit here and see what the future brings.

The Sweet Breeze

The west Wind is such a wonderful thing.
The Wind's cool breeze blows away all the pain;
In their place, joy and happiness, it brings.
The Wind has brought alot for me to gain.

But what about the Wind? How does it feel?
I can still hear the Wind's cries of anguish.
Gives much and takes little--that's the Wind's deal.
And without joy, the Wind will soon perish.

Yet through all of this, I can do nothing.
Uselessly, I can only sit and hope.
Helpless, I am; I want to do something.
Powerless, I can't even help it cope.

Lost, tired, alone is the Wind and I;
And it seems it'll be like this 'til we die.

Ode to Air

The Air is a wonderous creation.
Totally free and unique is the Air,
Spirit and soul without limitation.
And great happiness fills me when you're near.

Without precious Air, I would simply die.
My lungs would explode and my heart would burst.
The thought without Air makes me wanna cry.
And our seperation makes it the worst.

But as you return, life returns to me.
Breathing in, my body becomes alive,
My heart pounds, my ears ring, and I can see.
Yet I see nothing, but I still survive.

You combine the good, noble chimera;
So I will always be calling...

Hidden Horrors

I'll always think I'll exit Earth alone,
Which is the same way I entered this place.
So isolated, which noone has known,
Yet I try to keep a smiley face.

I ask myself, "Who knows the real me?"
The answer depresses me, as it should.
Because my true self, not many can see.
Its hidden; seeing it, not many could.

Alone, mainly by my own creation,
I must suffer through with a hint of hope.
But when the hope is crushed comes regression.
False apathy and sarcasism help cope.

Finally I sit and ask the world, "Why?"
No answer will come 'til the day I die.

Valentine Roses

I wrote this for you; I know its too late.
Flowers, you wanted on a special day.
Because you got none, I am who I hate.
I'm sorry, that is all I can say.

So please take this as my apology,
Although its only a poem by me.
Will we ever meet in reality?
Your beautiful image, I want to see.

Before we met, I was scared and alone,
I knew not that I could be loved that way.
I wait up just to hear your on the phone;
Being without you is like being flayed.

I truely wish that I could be with you.
I want to see you, but what do I do?

i... i... i...

You are perfect, the lady of my dreams.
You make me laugh, think, and cry; you're the one.
I think I love you, that is what this means.
And you mean more to me than anyone.

Your presence brings a smile to my face.
Long to talk to you whenever I'm not.
You are pure and noble down to your base.
Without you I would shrivel up and rot.

But the truth is that we can never be;
You don't even feel the same way 'bout me;
I am only a friend; that's all you see.
But its okay, I gave my love for free.

And I fear I shall never tell you that,
Because you don't feel the same and will laugh.

Waiting

Hold you in my arms; brush your hair away,
I look into your eyes, beautiful eyes;
A passionate kiss; perfection I say.
A moment frozen in time, I surmise.

But you disappear. Where you ever there?
Or am I hoping for this to happen?
Will you and I ever be? No, I fear.
And I hope the distance never gappens.

For the truth is: I love you and you me.
You say a relationship is too soon.
But I think it'd be the best one could be.
But I'll respect your wishes 'til my tomb.

But still I shall wait 'til that day arrives,
That day'll be the day that I'll be alive.

Oh, Kay?

At last I have found the one of my dreams.
Longing to be with her is me right now.
Love her, I do and this is what this means.
I think she is great and should take a bow.

Since that day we've met, I have known one thing;
Oh, it is: everything will be alright.
Never have I felt the way that she brings.
Very simply, I feel that this is right.

And no matter what anyone tells me,
She is the one for me and I love her.
Although I don't know why she would love me.
Luckily we love each other for sure.

Last time we spoke, again I fell in love,
Oh, when she left, I read her poem, "Dove".

Fucking Shit

I woke up happy; good will come today.
I can't wait because I'm so excited.
I'm nervous 'cuz I don't know what to say.
Felt great; I might as well have been knighted,

But then a curious thought entered me.
So I asked a question, a simple one.
But the answer I did not want to see.
For it caused my happiness to be done.

I wanna be better; I'll try my best,
But useless I'll be and useless should go;
I won't be nearly as good as the rest.
And that is why I feel this new great low.

My dreams, hopes, fantasies are now shattered.
But oh well, as if it ever mattered.

Nothing

Why do I wake up? Is there a reason?
Do I do anything? Of course, of course not!
I do nothing, season after season.
Joy fleeting; losing what little I got.

Its my fault. Everything's my fault; I suck.
I bring nothing to the table. Nothing.
Not strong, not fast, not smart, not cool, no luck,
No skill, no heart, nothing! Loser. -ding, ding!-

Why do you still want to stay with me? Why?
Just go... find someone else, someone better.
Just be happy and alone I will die.
'Til then, I'll still have your pictures, letters.

The thought of you will keep my company.
You'll be there, helping in my memory.