Chapter Eleven


Herrings

                          ******************
                          * Chapter Eleven *
                          * Herrings       *
                          ******************

     Ranma and Ryouga trudged through the gate of the Tendou
 Dojo, both their minds occupied by Nabiki's threat and Ukyou's
 departure.  They were about halfway up the walk when they were
 suddenly struck from all sides by a spray of water--cold, of
 course.

     Kasumi came out on the porch.  "Oh, my.  I'm sorry, Ranma, I
 didn't know that anyone was out here, and I wanted to give the
 new sprinkler system a try."  She paused.  "Oh, where did P-Chan
 come from?  Akane will be so pleased!  But what are Ryouga's
 things doing all piled up on the walk?"

     Ranma-chan's already frazzled brain froze when faced with
 Kasumi's innocent question.  "Uhhh...Umm...That is, he...I
 mean...Errr...You see...."

     The confused look on Kasumi's face suddenly cleared, and she
 gave him her Beatific Smile.  "Oh, now I get it.  Ranma, you silly,
 trying to keep something like that a secret."

     "Uhhh...You mean you knew already?"

     "Why, of course I do.  It's obvious to anyone who really
 knows you."

     Something about that statement seemed a little off to Ranma.
 "What, exactly, do you mean, Kasumi?"

     "Why, it's so obvious that you really do like Akane, Ryouga
 and P-Chan!"

     Ranma-chan power-facefaulted.

     Oblivious, Kasumi continued, picking up P-Chan as she spoke.
 "After all, why would you go to the trouble of tracking down
 Akane's pet, *and* being so kind as to bring over a spare set of
 Ryouga's clothing and gear for the next time he returns?"

     Ranma-chan made soft gurgling noises.

     Kasumi carried P-Chan (who was almost as stunned by her
 logic as Ranma had been) into the house.  "Oh, Akane will be so
 glad to see you.  She's just been worried sick about you.  But...
 you're all wet.  You'll need to be dried off first."

     Walking through the house and out the back door, Kasumi hung
 P-Chan off the clothesline by his bandanna.  The unfortunate
 piglet began squirming almost immediately.  "Oh, good idea,
 P-Chan," Kasumi said, "Shaking off the water will speed up the
 drying process, and I can take you to Akane that much sooner."

     Part of Nabiki's speech flashed through her victim's mind,
 namely the part where she advised him against any more
 appearances as Akane's pet.  He immediately went limp.

     "Oh, dear, you must have worn yourself out.  That's okay,
 you just wait there, and I'll be out after I finish washing the
 dishes," the eldest Tendou daughter said, going into the house.

     {Sorry, Kasumi, not today!} Ryouga thought, thrashing wildly
 until he was able to slip his head out of the bandanna.  He
 landed on the ground with a soft *plop*, and ran as fast as he
 could around to the front of the house.

     Ranma-chan was still there, standing in absolute shock. 
 P-Chan barrelled into her legs, but with no effect.  Getting
 desperate, he gave the redhead a good bite on the ankle.

     That got an effect.  "YOW!!  Whaddja do that for, ya stupid
 pig?!"

     In response to the piglet's frantic "Bwee"s, Ranma-chan
 sighed and said, "That's right, we gotta get you changed back
 before Akane sees you like this.  Come on."

      She slipped into the house, taking just long enough to
 throw Ryouga's wet clothes into the dryer before sneaking up the
 stairs.  Running into his room, he grabbed a change of clothes
 for himself and dashed over to the bathroom.

     She slipped out of her wet things, and stepped into the bath
 area.  With a marked lack of ceremony, she dropped P-Chan into
 the furo before getting in herself.

     "So now what?" the Lost Boy asked.

     "Well, as soon as I dry off, I'm gonna go downstairs and
 keep an eye on the dryer.  Once your clothes are ready, I'll
 bring them up so you can get dressed, and then we'll figure out
 how to break the news to Akane, okay?"

     Ryouga slumped back into the hot water.  "Sounds like a good
 plan to me."

     Ranma dried himself off and slipped into his dry clothes. 
 "See you in about twenty minutes.  Try not to get lost in that
 time, alright?"

     Ryouga just growled at Ranma as his rival left the room,
 snickering.

   ***********************************************************

     Ranma went back down to the small dryer.  The appliance was
 usually only used during inclement weather, or for rush jobs, as
 Kasumi usually insisted that clothes dried on the line were just
 so much nicer smelling.

     He dropped his wet clothes in with Ryouga's.  {Might as well
 save Kasumi the hassle.}

     He sat down next to the dryer, and waited.

   ***********************************************************

     Akane came in through the front door, her feet dragging.  As
 she entered the living room, Kasumi gave her a worried look.

     "Oh, dear, are you alright, Akane?"

     Akane smiled at her eldest sister's concern.  "Yeah, I'm
 fine, Kasumi.  It's just been a really long day."

     "Well, I've made some tea, why don't you have a seat and
 tell me about it?"

     Akane nestled into the sofa, grateful for her sister's
 suggestion.  "Well, it started in as soon as I got to school.
 Practically every student had heard some rumour about Ukyou, or
 Nabiki, or the Kunous, or all of them, and they all wanted
 confirmation."

     She gave a wry grimace.  "I think I'm beginning to
 understand why Nabiki charges for the information she gives to
 her classmates.  I made over seventy-five hundred yen, and I
 probably could have gotten more by making some of the stuff up."

     Kasumi looked a little disturbed.  "Oh, my, I hope you're
 not picking up on any of Nabiki's bad habits."

     Akane stood up, setting down her empty teacup and walking to
 the back door.  "No need to worry.  I don't have the endurance
 for it...."  She paused, staring at the clothesline.  "Oh, is
 Ryouga here?"

     "No, I don't think so."

     "Then why is his bandanna hanging off the clothesline?"

     "Oh, my!"  Kasumi jumped up and walked swiftly over to the
 door.  "That's not Ryouga's, it's P-Chan's.  Ranma brought him
 back, and I hung him out to dry.  But I wonder where he got
 to...."

     "Oh, well, don't worry about it, Kasumi.  I'm sure he's
 around here somewhere."  Akane looked at the scrap of cloth
 flapping in the breeze.  "Strange.  I had never really noticed
 how alike their bandannas are...."

     Kasumi turned to her.  "Well, why don't you take a bath?  It
 sounds like you could use one, after today.  Ranma just went
 into the laundry room with some wet clothes, so it should be
 free, now."

     "Okay, thanks Kasumi," Akane replied, giving her sister a
 relieved little hug.  "That sounds like a great idea."

   **********************************************************

     {Oh, Akane, how will I ever tell you my shame?  Can you ever
 forgive me?}

     Ryouga was depressed.  He couldn't see any way to get Akane
 to accept him, once she knew his secret.  A brief fantasy played
 out in his mind:
 
     Akane, in tears:  "Oh, Ryouga, I could have loved you, but
 you are just a pig.  Now there is no one for me!"

     Ranma, drooling over her slumped form:  "Oh, yes there is,
 my pretty!  Now that 'Lost Boy' is out of the way, you are all
 mine!

     Akane, terror on her face:  "No!  I can't, I don't love you!
 [more thoughtful]  But still, better with a perverted jerk than
 being alone, no matter how much you degrade me."

     Ryouga, in shining armor:  "Don't worry, Akane, I'm here for
 you!"

     Ranma:  "Take a hike, Sir Piglet!"  [splashes Ryouga with a
 bucket of cold water]

     P-Chan:  "Bweee!"  [runs away]

     [Suddenly, Akane and Ranma are dressed for a wedding.]

     Ranma, leering:  "And now for the honeymoon!  Bwahahahah!"

     Kasumi, carrying a covered platter:  "Oh, my [TM]! 
 Shouldn't you have a little of your reception dinner, first?"

     Akane:  "Oh, yes, please, anything to put off that horrible
 moment when this foul lecher takes me to his bed!"

     Kasumi, lifting cover, revealing P-Chan with an apple
 stuffed in his mouth:  "Here you go!  Pork surprise!"  

     Akane, her mouth full:  "Thang you, Gasubi!  Id's delicious!"

     Ryouga stood upright in the bath.  "No, Akane!  Don't eat
 me!"

   ***********************************************************

     Akane eased he school clothes off and dropped them in the
 hamper.  She could already imagine the feel of the hot water of
 the furo soaking into her exhausted muscles.  {I really don't
 know how Nabiki puts up with it.  I'd rather fight them all, any
 day.}

     Grabbing a towel, she opened the door.  Just as she realized
 that the bath was not empty, Ryouga stood up and shouted, "No,
 Akane!  Don't eat me!"

     Akane blinked.  "I wasn't planning on it."  She shut the
 door to the bath.

     A moment later she heard a sound like a wounded animal
 howling in fear, and another of broken glass, followed by an
 ominous silence.  Mustering up her courage (and holding her
 towel a little more strategically, this time), she opened the
 door to take a look.

     The bath was empty, and a faint breeze was blowing through
 the wreckage of the window.

   ***********************************************************

     Ryouga crouched behind the trash cans, peering out into the
 street from the alley where he had taken refuge.  He wasn't
 exactly sure where he was, but was sure he could get his
 bearings once night fell and the street wasn't so crowded.

     {Oh, man, what a time for Akane to walk in!  And Ranma's got
 my clothes, too!  Why, I'll bet he meant for this to happen all
 along!}  "Ranma, this is all your fault!"

     It took Ryouga a moment to realize that he had spoken out
 loud.  It took him a few more to realize that the passersby were
 now staring at him.  It took him several minutes to realize just
 what, exactly, they were staring at.

     It took him no time at all to get himself hopelessly lost.

   ***********************************************************

     "Baka!"  Akane reinforced the traditional cry with an
 equally traditional bap to Ranma's head.  "I'm just saying you
 should have put the sign on the door!"

     "Well, if *somebody* wasn't in the habit of entering into
 bathrooms with knocking first, maybe *somebody* wouldn't be
 flashing her uncute, sexle--"  Ranma's response was cut short
 by a series of blows to the head.

     "Bakabakabakabakabaka!!"  Once Ranma was lying flat on the
 ground, twitching, Akane stood up and walked out with as much
 dignity as she could muster.

     "Oh, dear, she didn't finish her food.  I'll just put this
 back for later."  Ever unflappable, Kasumi took the dish into
 the kitchen.

   ***********************************************************

     {Ryouga, you dope.}  Ranma was sitting on the roof, keeping
 an eye out in case the Lost Boy decided to wander past.  {It'd
 be just like him to come within a few feet of the gate on his
 way to Okinawa.}

     {Stupid Tomboy.  She even blamed me for losing her precious
 "P-Chan" again, even though it was.... Nah, forget that.  No
 way anyone's gonna blame Kasumi for it.}

     He leaned back and stared at the stars, trying to
 lose himself and his problems in their distant beauty.  So much
 had happened of late, so much beyond his ability to change....

   ***********************************************************

     Ukyou looked back at the Tokyo skyline.  {Maybe I was wrong.
 Maybe Dr. Fujishima was right when he said I should have told
 Ranma the truth.}  She shook herself.  {No!  This is the way it
 has to be.  I won't have Ranchan getting himself killed just
 because he was trying to look out for me!  I won't!}

     As she carefully maneuvered her way up the gangplank, using
 her oversized spatulas as crutches, she came to a compromise.
 {I'll write him once I'm settled in San Francisco.  Just to let
 him know I'm alright.  Of course, if he decides to come chasing
 after me, I guess we'll know for sure then, right?}

     Comforted by this train of thought, she made her way to her
 cabin and sank into a deep, dark sleep.

   ***********************************************************

     Deep in the hold of the ship, a glowing red display marked
 the passing time.  [0:19:48, 0:19:47, 0:19:46, 0:19:45....]

   ***********************************************************

                          End Chapter 11

Chapter Twelve


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