green guy

The Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy
complete help

ON THE EARTH


How do I get out of the dark?
Why can't I pick things up?
How can I get out of the bedroom?
Is the pile of mail important?
What's that bulldozer doing outside?
How do I stop the bulldozer?
What should I do with Ford Prefect?
Should I go with Ford to the Pub?
What should I do in the Pub?
How much beer should I drink?
How can I buy beer?
How can I buy a packet of peanuts?
How can I buy a cheese sandwich?
My home's being wrecked. What now?
What should I do about the dog?
How do I survive Earth's demolition?
Why do I die during transference?

Level Index Back Home
How do I get out of the dark?
  1. TURN ON THE LIGHT.
Top Level Index Back Home
Why can't I pick things up?
  1. Are you out of the bed with the light on?
  2. The room is spinning because you have a hangover.
  3. There is ONE thing you can pick up.
  4. It's the gown.
Top Level Index Back Home
How can I get out of the bedroom?
  1. You bounce off the doorframe because the room is spinning from your hangover.
  2. You'll have to get rid of it.
  3. See the previous question.
  4. There's an aspirin in the pocket of the gown.
  5. TAKE GOWN. PUT IT ON. OPEN THE POCKET. TAKE THE ANALGESIC.
Top Level Index Back Home
Is the pile of mail important?
  1. Have you read the mail?
  2. Now you know what's going on outside.
  3. Take it along, it might prove useful later.
Top Level Index Back Home
What's that bulldozer doing outside?
  1. Have you read the pile of mail on your Front Porch?
    It's there to knock down your house to make way for a new highway bypass.
Top Level Index Back Home
How do I stop the bulldozer?
  1. There's a tried and true method for stopping bulldozers.
  2. Have you tried phoning the police?
  3. Have you tried to PROTEST or asked PROSSER, STOP THE BULLDOZER?
  4. Have you tried to STAND IN FRONT OF THE BULLDOZER?
  5. In case you haven't figured it out from these subtle clues, you want to LIE DOWN IN FRONT OF THE BULLDOZER.
  6. BLOCK THE BULLDOZER, STOP THE BULLDOZER, or LIE DOWN also work.
  7. You'll have to wait a few turns after you lie down before the bulldozer finally grinds to a halt.
Top Level Index Back Home
What should I do with Ford Prefect?
  1. If you take the towel he's trying to give you, he'll walk away.
  2. Standing up to follow him is fatal.
  3. Without Ford you'll never survive the upcoming destruction of the Earth.
  4. Ford is oblivious to your problem. If you wait, he'll notice the bulldozer, and help you out.
  5. Or you can say FORD, WHAT ABOUT MY HOME? as soon as he arrives.
Top Level Index Back Home
Should I go with Ford to the Pub?
  1. Don't stand up until Prosser is lying down in your place.
  2. This will happen if you wait a few turns after Ford shows up.
  3. At this point, listen to Ford and follow him to the Pub.
Top Level Index Back Home
What should I do in the Pub?
  1. You came here because of Ford, right?
  2. Why not do as he says?
  3. Drink some beer.
  4. Also, have you noticed the shelf of items behind the bar?
Top Level Index Back Home
How much beer should I drink?
  1. Ford will keep urging you to drink beer until you've had enough.
  2. If you have fewer than three beers, the shock of the matter transference beam will kill you.
  3. If you have more than three beers, you'll get drunk and end up partying through the end of the world.
  4. Drink the beer three times.
Top Level Index Back Home
How can I buy beer?
  1. You can't.
  2. But so what? Ford buys some for you.
Top Level Index Back Home
How can I buy a packet of peanuts?
  1. You can't.
  2. At least, not when you're Arthur.
Top Level Index Back Home
How can I buy a cheese sandwich?
  1. How about BUY A CHEESE SANDWICH.
  2. Or BARTENDER, GIVE ME A CHEESE SANDWICH.
  3. Perhaps ASK BARTENDER FOR A SANDWICH is more up your alley.
Top Level Index Back Home
My home's being wrecked. What now?
  1. There's not much you can do about it.
  2. You might return to survey the rubble, or to have it out with Prosser.
Top Level Index Back Home
What should I do about the dog?
  1. Have you examined the dog?
  2. If you haven't figured it out, you'll find out more later.
Top Level Index Back Home
How do I survive Earth's demolition?
  1. DON'T PANIC.
  2. Read everything carefully.
  3. Remember Ford's reason for drinking all that beer?
  4. It has to do with that small black device that Ford drops after the fleet arrives.
  5. Have you tried picking it up?
  6. Have you tried examining it?
  7. You want to hitch a ride aboard one of the Vogon ships.
  8. USH THE GREEN BUTTON.
Top Level Index Back Home
Why do I die during transference?
  1. You didn't drink enough beer.
  2. See the question about how much beer to drink.
Top Level Index Back Home
MAIN INDEX
IN THE DARK
THE VOGON SHIP
THE HEART OF GOLD
ON TRAAL
ON DAMOGRAN
AT THE PARTY
EARTH, REVISITED
WAR CHAMBER/MAZE
INSIDE THE WHALE
GENERAL QUESTIONS
MISCELLANEOUS

Top Back Home 1