Captain Kathryn Janeway and her first officer emerged from her ready room in response to a summons by Voyager's chief of security. "Captain, our sensors are detecting spatial distortion readings consistent with that of a wormhole" reported Lieutenant Tuvok.
"Mr. Paris, plot in a course," ordered Janeway as she and Chakotay took their seats. "Take us to that wormhole"
"Captain," Chakotay leaned over in his chair so he could speak to her without being heard by the rest of the bridge crew. "What are the chances? Do you think that wormhole leads back to the Alpha Quadrant?"
"Of course it does," she replied. Chakotay looked doubtful. "Don't they all?"
"Ahh, yes. You have a point there Captain." Chakotay nodded. "Every wormhole we've encountered to date leads right back to the Alpha Quadrant. The only question now is whether this wormhole will result in time travel or an alternate universe?" He leaned even close to the captain. "Tell me, do you think this is canon or fan fic?"
Janeway casually glanced around the bridge noticing that Lieutenants Paris and Torres had locked their eyes in a fierce and passionate gaze, the edges of their mouths gradually turning up in a conspiratorial smile. Slowly they both turned their smoldering stare to Harry Kim. Harry's eyes widened and he blushed furiously suddenly giving the console in front of him his full concentration. Paris and Torres chuckled softly. Janeway turned back to her first officer and found her own eyes focused on his mouth; his full, moist lips just slightly parted.... "Fan fic," she stated. "This is definitely fan fic."
"Captain, you realize what this means?" asked Chakotay.
"Yes, most likely one or both of us will fall in to the hands of hostile forces," she replied.
"Or suffer some other life threatening experience," continued Chakotay. They both knew what usually followed their reunion after just such an experience. Janeway suppressed a grin as she turned her attention to the viewscreen where the image of the wormhole was becoming larger. As she stood she could swear she heard Chakotay mutter a "hot damn" under his breath.
"Take us through the wormhole, Mr. Paris," she said. "No need to dawdle - the author wants to get all of this in one post."
"Aye, Captain." On the viewscreen the stars of the Delta quadrant gave way to streaking colors of blues, reds, and yellows, then a bright flash of white before a familiar red planet appeared on the viewscreen. Janeway turned to give Chakotay a smug smile.
"Mr. Paris move us close enough to Earth to monitor their communications systems. I want to know exactly where and when we are," Janeway ordered.
It took less than an hour of communications monitoring for Harry Kim to determine that they were in the right universe, but the wrong year. "Captain, according to the news broadcasts we appear to be in the year 1996."
"1996?" said Chakotay. "Why do we *always* end up in 1996?"
"Captain, come look at this," there was a sense of urgency in Harry Kim's voice. Both the captain and Chakotay moved beside him to see his view screen. "I was monitoring the 'Internet' and I saw this."
Janeway gasped, her mouth formed the words, but she hadn't enough breath to make them audible. "Macintosh is shit," her lips moved silently.
"Captain, is this what I think it is?" asked Harry.
Chakotay put a hand on the young man's shoulder, "This is it, Harry. We are witnessing the beginning of the end."
"Excuse me," interrupted Neelix, who suddenly appeared on the bridge because this was a good place to put him in the story, "could someone tell me what's so significant about this?"
"It's the 'Macintosh is shit' thread" said B'Elanna, as if that would explain it.
"In latter 20th century Earth," explained Janeway, "news groups on the Internet were a popular source of information and entertainment."
"But as with all technology," continued Tuvok, "there were those who corrupted and abused it. While in the early days the power of the news groups was respected, gradually users began violating their privilege. Any manner of defamations took place; off topic posts, cross-posting, make money quick scams, gizzie."
"gizzie?" all eyes turned to Tuvok in question.
"My apologies - wrong news group."
"Which was more dangerous?" asked B'Elanna. "Off-topic posting or cross-posting?"
"Off topic posting was annoying, but not dangerous," explained Harry. "Cross posting - or spamming - was disastrous because it usually involved off-topic posts on a massive scale."
"Spamming?" mused Neelix. "Spamming - Spam - sounds delicious."
"This thread," Janeway pointed to the monitor, "was the worst of all of them. While most cross posts eventually died out this one continued indefinitely. It kept appearing under different headings. It seemed to take on a life of it's own."
"Which is eventually what happened." Chakotay shook his head. "The 'Macintosh is shit' thread became self aware - sentient. In a desperate attempt for self preservation it infiltrated the systems of all who read it; personal home computers, banks, government offices, military installations. Eventually it collapsed information systems worldwide."
"What followed was violent and bloody chaos," said Paris. "Money was worthless, governments lay in ruin. Millions of lives were lost before order was restored."
There was a respectful silence on the bridge.
"Captain," said Harry. "The thread was started just recently. We have time! We can stop it. We can end it now!"
"Harry, you know we can't interfere with this time line," said Janeway. "This is part of our history. 'Macintosh is shit' helped make mankind who we are today. We learned from our mistakes."
"Look at this. Someone's already trying to fight back." Chakotay read aloud from the terminal: "'Alt.startrek.creative is for fanfic and discussions of fanfic. Please take all non-relevant posts elsewhere'."
Janeway shook her head "A valiant effort, but he's only one voice, drowned out by so many others." She bit her lower lip and her voice cracked slightly, "If only people had listened."
"COURAGE!" Chakotay clenched a fist in solidarity with his unknown friend. "Courage, fellow warrior. Your battle has just begun."
Janeway turned and moved back to her captain's chair. "Mr. Paris take us back through the wormhole," she ordered. "We have no business here. The people of the 20th century have an important lesson to learn." She gave one last affectionate glance at her planet on the viewscren. "And only those who survive will truly understand the dangers of cross-posting."
"Aye Captain." Tom Paris engaged the engines and in a streak of light Voyager left behind the hapless inhabitants of the Earth of their past. Left them behind to fend for themselves against evils they had not yet imagined - and to become a better race because of it.