From: "Rob" <rsimon1@juno.com>                                                  
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.starwars.info                                           
TOP TEN REJECTED STAR WARS PLOT LINE CHANGES FOR                                
THE RE-RELASE                                                                   
                                                                                
10. The stormtroopers kill Luke at his uncle's house.  The movie ends.          
                                                                                
9.  Luke does NOT stay on target.... but Porkins does!  He blows up the         
    Death Star, gets Leia, and spends the remainder of the trilogy in the       
    Rebel Cafeteria.                                                            
                                                                                
8.  R2-D2 does not let the Wookie win, and Chebacca tears him to shreds,        
    causing C3PO to go into an uncharateristic rage, culminating in his         
    initiation of the Falcon's self-destruct sequence.                          
                                                                                
7.  Obi-Wan and Vader settle their differences the old-fashioned way.....       
    shoots!  Best two out of three.                                             
                                                                                
6.  Leia falls for BOTH Luke and Han, convincing them to leave the              
    Rebellion in favour of the Corellian Pleasure Cruiser "Jabba's              
    Paradise" where the three spend out their days engaging in unspeakable      
    acts using the force.                                                       
                                                                                
5.  Luke's father turns out to be.... Jabba the Hutt!                           
__(Luke: Nooooo!  Jabba: Huoh, huoh, huoh!)                                     
                                                                                
4.  Darth Vader turns out to be Luke's mother.  (journey to the Dark Side       
    indeed!)                                                                    
                                                                                
3.   Vader looses the Death Star to Lando Calrisian in a poker game.            
                                                                                
2.  The Jawas led by R2-D2 and the Ewoks led by Salacious Crumb plunge          
    into a 100-year war known as the "War of Who Gives a Rat's Ass?".           
                                                                                
and the No. 1 rejected plot line,                                               
                                                                                
                                                                                
_Luke removes Vader's mask to discover that he is.....  Jim "The                
_Anvil" Nightheart!!!                                                           
__(Luke: Noooo!  Vader: Nyaaaaaahhh!)