This is pretty funny dude! ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Sun, 1 Oct 1995 19:53:05 -0400 From: Funny Mail II Subject: Actual Laws Yes, these are actual laws on the books... Florida Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. New Orleans, Louisiana A dog is entitled to his first bite of a person. California Removing your clothes in a bath house is against the law. Zion, Illinois It is prohibited to teach pets to smoke cigars. Urbana, Illinois A monster is not allowed within the city limits. Cicero, Illinois An ordinance prohibts humming on the streets on Sunday. Clinton, Oklahoma Molesting an automobile is illegal. Belvedere, California An ordinance reads that no dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash. Milwaukee, Wisconsin An old ordinance forbids parking for over two hours unless a horse is tied to the car. Louisiana It is illegal to gargle in public places. Topeka, Kansas The installation of bathtubs is prohibited. Kalamazoo, Michigan It is against the law to serenade your girl friend. Kansas The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks. Detroit, Michigan Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited. Detriot, Michigan It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday. Augusta, Maine To stroll down the street playing a violin is against the law. Omaha, Nebraska Sneezing or burping is illegal during a church service. Spartansburg, South Carolina Eating watermelons in the Magnolia Street cemetery is forbidden. Nogales, Arizona An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders. Massachusetts It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath. Iowa A kiss lasting more than five minutes is against the law. Oklahoma It is against the law to read a comic book while operating a motor vehicle. Toledo, Ohio Throwing a snake at anyone is illegal. Huntington, West Virginia Firemen may not whistle or flirt at any woman passing a firehouse. Baldwin Park, California It is unlawful to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool. Boston, Massachusets An old law prohibits the taking of baths on Sunday. North Andover, Massachusetts An ordinance prohibits the use of space guns. Tylertown, Mississippi It is unlawful to shave in the center of main street. Milford, Massachusetts Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden. Milwaukee, Wisconsin It is against the law to play a flute and drums on the streets to attract attention. Arkansas A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise. Miami, Florida It is against the law to imitate animals. Texas Carrying a spear or a sword to a polling place is illegal. Santa Ana, California Two or more persons may not congregate for the purpose of discussion on the sidewalks. Memphis, Tennessee It is against the law to sell teddy bears or yo-yo's on Sunday. Boston, Massachusetts Mourners at a wake must not eat more than three sandwiches apiece. South Carolina State law forbids crawling around in public sewers without a permit. Kentucky A man may not purchase a hat unless his wife is with him. Massachusetts It is illegal to duel with water pistols. Louisiana Catching lizards at night is prohibited. Norfolk, Virginia It is illegal for hens to lay eggs before 8 A.M. and after 4 P.M.. Detroit, Michigan An ordinance prohibits sitting in the middle of the street to read a newspaper. Brooklyn, New York Donkeys are not allowed to sleep in bathtubs. Los Angeles, California It is prohibited for a wife to be beaten with a leather strap wider than two inches except with her written permission. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Funny Mail II: a system for spreading Junk Mail through the internet to subscribe send email to rjmill01@starbase.spd.louisville.edu friendly questions and submissions are always welcome http://www.spd.louisvile.edu/~rjmill01/funnyMailII This is Mac. He wants to travel the world. Please add him to your .sig and help him. _\=/_ (o o) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~o00o~(_)~o00o~~ >>> >>> >>> Strange Sex Laws >>> ---------------- >>> >>>No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, >>>onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife >>>so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth. >>> >>>Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed >>>to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you -- or >>>holding you in his arms. >>> >>>Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members >>>of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown -- if >>>they're nude. (Apparently, if you wear socks, you're safe from the law!) >>> >>>In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to have >>>twin beds. And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart when >>>a couple rents a room for only one night. And it's illegal to make love >>>on the floor between the beds! >>> >>>The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to provide >>>each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they >>>are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex unless >>>they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts. >>> >>>An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from having >>>sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer! >>> >>>A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called >>>master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts. >>> >>>In Norfolk, Virginia, a woman can't go out without wearing a corset. >>>(There was a civil-service job -- for men only -- called a corset >>>inspector.) >>> >>>However, in Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing >>>corsets because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered >>>body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded >>>American male." >>> >>>It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police >>>officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any >>>suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from >>>behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two minutes >>>before getting out of his car to investigate. >>> >>>Another law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a >>>table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two >>>ounces of clothing. >>> >>>Lovers in Liberty Corner, New Jersey, should avoid satisfying their >>>lustful urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally sounds while they >>>are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term. >>> >>>In Carlsbad, New Mexico, it's legal for couples to have sex in a parked >>>vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the car or van has >>>drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in. >>> >>>A Florida sex law: If you're a single, divorced, or widowed woman, you >>>can't parachute on Sunday afternoons. >>> >>>Women aren't allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, Ohio -- >>>a man might see the reflection of something "he oughtn't!" >>> >>>No woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance within the >>>boundaries of Tremonton, Utah. If caught, the woman can be charged with >>>a sexual misdemeanor and "her name is to be published in the local >>>newspaper." The man isn't charged nor is his name revealed. >>> >>>