--------------------------- Original Message --------------------------- > > > -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= > > Don't call me "Generation X," > call me a child of the eighties > > by Bryant Adkins > published in The Reflector > January 20, 1995 > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > I am a child of the eighties. That is what I prefer to be called. The > nineties can do without me. Grunge isn't here to stay, fashion is > fickle and "Generation X" is a myth created by some over-40 writer > trying to figure out why people wear flannel in the summer. When I got > home from school, I played with my Atari 2600. I spent hours playing > Pitfall or Combat or Breakout or Dodge'em Cars or Frogger. I never did > beat Asteroids. Then I watched "Scooby Doo." Daphne was a Goddess, and I > thought Shaggy was smoking something synthetic in the back of their > psychedelic van. I hated Scrappy. > > I would sleep over at friends' houses on the weekends. We played army > with G.I. Joe figures, and I set up galactic wars between Autobots and > Decepticons. We stayed up half the night throwing marshmallows and > Velveeta at one another. We never beat the Rubik's Cube. > > I got up on Saturday mornings at 6 a.m. to watch bad Hanna-Barbera > cartoons like "The Snorks," "Jabberjaw," "Captain Caveman," and "Space > Ghost." In between I would watch "School House Rock." ("Conjunction > junction, what's your function?") > > On weeknights Daisy Duke was my future wife. I was going to own the > General Lee and shoot dynamite arrows out the back. Why did they weld > the doors shut? At the movies the Nerds got Revenge on the Alpha Betas > by teaming up with the Omega Mus. I watched Indiana Jones save the Ark > of the Covenant, and wondered what Yoda meant when he said, "No, there > is another." > > Ronald Reagan was cool. Gorbachev was the guy who built a McDonalds in > Moscow. My family took summer vacations to the Gulf of Mexico and > collected "Muppet Movie" glasses along the way. (We had the whole set.) > My brother and I fought in the back seat. At the hotel we found creative > uses for Connect Four pieces like throwing them in that big air > conditioning unit. > > I listened to John COUGAR Mellencamp sing about Little Pink Houses for > Jack and Diane. I was bewildered by Boy George and the colors of his > dreams, red, gold, and green. MTV played videos. Nickelodeon played "You > Can't Do That on Television" and "Dangermouse." Cor! HBO showed Mike > Tyson pummel everybody except Robin Givens, the bad actress from "Head > of the Class" who took all Mike's cashflow. > > I drank Dr. Pepper. "I'm a Pepper, you're a Pepper, wouldn't you like > to be a Pepper, too?" Shasta was for losers. TAB was a laboratory > accident. Capri Sun was a social statement. Orange juice wasn't just for > breakfast anymore, and bacon had to move over for something meatier. > > My mom put a thousand Little Debbie Snack Cakes in my Charlie Brown > lunch box, and filled my Snoopy Thermos with grape Kool-Aid. I would > never eat the snack cakes, though. Did anyone? I got two thousand cheese > and cracker snack packs, and I ate those. > > I went to school and had recess. I went to the same classes everyday. > Some weird guy from the eighth grade always won the science fair with > the working hydro-electric plant that leaked on my project about music > and plants. They just loved Beethoven. > > Field day was bigger than Christmas, but it always managed to rain > just enough to make everybody miserable before they fell over in the > three-legged race. Where did all those panty hose come from? "Deck the > Halls with Gasoline, fa la la la la la la la la," was just a song. > Burping was cool. Rubber band fights were cooler. A substitute teacher > was a baby sitter/marked woman. Nobody deserved that. > > I went to Cub Scouts. I got my arrow-of-light, but never managed to > win the Pinewood Derby. I got almost every skill award but don't > remember ever doing anything. > > The world stopped when the Challenger exploded. > > Did a teacher come in and tell your class? > > Half of your friends' parents got divorced. > > People did not just say no to drugs. > > AIDS started, but you knew more people who had a grandparent die from > cancer. > > Somebody in your school died before they graduated. > > When you put all this stuff together, you have my childhood. If this > stuff sounds familiar, then I bet you are one, too. > > We are children of the eighties. That is what I prefer "they" call it. > > > > > > ========================================================================= > > >