> > The following are actual stories told by travel agents (and > you wonder why US citizens generally score less than the > rest of the world on geography)... > > I had someone who wanted to stay at the Bob Newhart Inn in > Connecticut. When I explained that the inn was fictional, > the customer became very irate and insisted "I know it is > real, I see people check in every week!" Also, I really did > have someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair > wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. > > A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. > After going over all the cost info, she asked, "would it be > cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to > Hawaii?" > > I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I > started to explain the length of the flight and the passport > information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to > make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." > Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I > calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is > in Africa." Her response....click. > > A secretary called in looking for a hotel in Los Angeles. > She gave me various names off a list, none of which I could > find. I finally had her fax me the list. To my surprise, > it was a list of hotels in New Orleans, Louisiana. She > thought the LA stood for Los Angeles, and that New Orleans > was a suburb of LA. Worst of all, when I called her back, > she was not even embarrassed. > > A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I > asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said > he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain > that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the > state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map > and Florida is a very thin state." > > I got a call from a man who asked, "is it possible to see > England from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "but they look > so close on the map." > > Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in > Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had > a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted > to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, > and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time." > > A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was > possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got > into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan > was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand > the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane > went very fast, and she bought that! > > A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical > description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs > to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, > when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my > luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any > connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I > "looked into it" ( I was actually laughing) I came back and > explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the > airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage. > > I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I > know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he > meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is > 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them." > > A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one > of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to > Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yea, whatever." > > A business man called and had a question about the documents > he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy > discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. > "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had > to have one of those." I double checked, and sure enough, > his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, > "Look, I've been to China 4 times and every time they have > accepted my American Express." > > A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from > Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss > for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the > name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied > the customer. After some searching, the agent came back > with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code > in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The > customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where > it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the > state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean > Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"