Renegades Part 4 "Marcus, go away," her tears poured forth as she paused, "Please." "All right," he resigned himself to his fate, and walked back through the entrance he had just come through. As he stole a glance across his shoulder he thought, And as he sat down, he began to plot. Back in the other room she continued to sob on her pillow, though her rainstorm had turned into a gentle shower. About an hour later he joined her in the living area. he commented to himself as he watched her sleep. He laid himself down beside her on the large bed, the only piece of furniture in the room, except for the cabinets. he secretly wished, laying a hand across her waist, and pulling her in closely to him. Fortunately she was tired after the past few days occurrences, and a seriously heavy sleeper. He sighed contentedly as he nuzzled his cheek against her hair, and slowly drifted off to sleep himself. "Aaah," Ivanova yawned as she woke up the next morning. Her limbs were sore from the beatings she had received, but now she had new energy, something she had lacked the previous night. Now if only she knew where to find some food. As her mind grew as alert as her body was beginning to feel her entire self went tense. A large weight was set upon her waist, and she could feel where his hand was resting on her stomach. Turning over she firmly pushed his shoulders away, causing him to crumple to the floor as she ranted, "I thought I told you to stay away from me!" As he looked cautiously over the side of the bed he commented, "Sorry." It was sheepish, and he knew it. It was time for him to try Plan A. "Listen Susan, I know what he did to you, and I know that it hurts, but you are away from him now," sure it was an all out lie, but maybe, just maybe it would open her up. It just infuriated her more. "Marcus, you have no idea what I went through. He raped me!" His heart skipped a beat, "He used me, and then just left me there for those creeps to eat at. You have no idea how that feels, do you?" his face went pale as she spoke, and then he answered, "No, I don’t know what that feels like, but I do know what it’s done to you. Susan, he’s gone, I promise you that he’ll never hurt you again. Please calm down." "He may not be here, but I’m the one who has to live with what he did to me!" "Susan, he hurt you, you’ve been hurt a lot," he saw his chance, "but not all love hurts like that." "Yes it does. Every time I have fallen in love I have ended up hurt, and now this. Somebody just used me for pure… pure pleasure and then just hung me out to dry." "Maybe this did Susan, but not every one who loves you will end up hurting you." "Yes they do. They all do, and when did this conversation become about my love life anyway?" "It just did. And no, not every one who loves you is going to hurt you." "Oh yeah, my family is dead. All my relationships have gone to hell, the man I love loves somebody else. Name a single person who hasn’t," she demanded. he thought to himself before confessing, "I haven’t." As realization struck she looked at him blankly. "What?" she softly muttered. "I have never hurt you, and I love you. Susan, why do you think I went through all of this to get you? Why do you think I’ve been trying to help you, trying to find out the truth? Susan, I did it all because I love you. I always have, and I always will." "Marcus?" her voice was questioning, and implying of her skepticism. "Don’t lie to me. On the Whitestar you told me told me that you had somebody waiting for you when this was all over. I don’t need you lying to me, not now." "I do believe that I also said that I hadn’t told her yet. Well that day I did. It’s just always been easier for me to confess my love to someone if I’m talking about hem in third person. I was talking about you. Why do you think I offered to teach you Minbari, why do you think I joined you on the Whitestar at Coriana, why do you think I even asked you if you had someone waiting for you? Because I wanted to know just what I was up against," he glanced at the floor, and then back up at her. "If you are telling the truth, and do love me, then why not tell me before? I mean why did it take me getting raped, and beaten to get this out in the open?" her voice was questioning, and extremely skeptical. "Susan, you should know how hard it is to tell people how you feel. Why wasn’t it just yesterday I heard you mumbling about some man you were in love with, one who loved another. Well guess what, I doubt you’ve told him how you feel. It is hard!" his voice level was rising, quickly as he spoke. "Well that’s different he," she paused for a moment, trying to think of a way to say what she wanted to, without telling him what he wanted to hear. "I though he was in love with another woman. I thought he was happy with her, and didn’t want to cause a problem. I wanted him to be happy." "What’s his name?" he asked encouragingly, hoping that she’d tell him the name of the scoundrel who was making her miserable. "Why?" she tensed up. her mind was racing faster than the small ship did in hyperspace. "So when we get back to the station, I can track down the bastard, a nd knock him senseless. Maybe then he’ll see just how special a woman he is passing up," his face became mockingly serious, adding jest to his statement. She began laughing, loud in spite of herself. "What? Did I say something?" She smiled, thinking about what he would look like actually carrying out that threat. she thought in realization at her current situation. "I was just thinking about what you’d look like hitting yourself over the head with that big, ugly pike of yours," she couldn’t control herself and rolled over, clutching her stomach as she continued to laugh. "Me?" he asked, not yet realizing what she had just confessed to him. "Now why the hell would I do that?" "Well you said you were going to knock some sense into the guy I was in love with right?" she let go of all the restraints she had felt before, and finally surrendered her heart to him, completely. "Susan, are you trying to tell me that," he paused for a second, kneeling back down, and looking her in the eyes. "Are you trying to tell me that I was the one you thought…… Oh bloody hell." "Is something wrong," she became serious. "I thought you would have been happy at that." "Oh I ma, honest. I just feel stupid for not having realized it when you said that you "had thought" that the man you were in love with was in love with someone else. I usually pick up on those things, God do I feel stupid," he collapsed down onto his rump, and pulled his knees up in front of him. She smiled at him, and for a brief moment they just stayed where they were, caught up in each other’s tender gaze. Finally she broke the silence, "Marcus," she whispered, finally ready to say what had been on her heart for months. Not that it hadn’t already been implied in their conversation, but she needed to say it, herself, out loud, to him, "I love you." "I love you to," his gaze was tender, and loving. She could see the truth in his eyes, and felt a gentle warmth come over her when he spoke. "Now, may I ask you a question?" "Of course, anything, shoot." "Had I told you the name of a woman I loved, what would you have done?" he was chuckling, awaiting her reply. It only took her a second to gather her thoughts, and her reply was sharp, and yet still somehow amiable, "Tracked her down, and personally thrown her out an airlock, and into orbit around Mars, why?" "I thought something like that. And because, well, if you get to imagine me knocking myself senseless, I should get to imagine you throwing yourself out the nearest airlock." Slowly he reached out, and tenderly caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. For once she didn’t pull back. her mind jumped. What was this awful feeling she got in her stomach every time he touched her? she silently confirmed her own fears, she tried to turn her thoughts away from what had happened. The feel of his hand warmed her face, and setting her fears behind her she turned into his hand. "Feeling better?" he asked, cupping her cheek with his palm. "Yes, I think everything is going to be okay," she smiled at him. Placing a hand tentatively over his she asked, "Now where can I get some food?" End Part 4