48

REASONS WHY

.....Star Trek

sucks

Should Be A Hundred But I can't Be bothered to waste my time on it. All though i am getting closer it was only 39 last time

Index

1, 2-6, 7-9, 10, 11-12, 13, 14, 15, 16 , 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25-26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 41, 42, 43, 44, Random

1 Have you ever met anyone whose first name is DeForest?

2-6 If the Enterprise is supposed to be such a powerful ship, how come it can be taken over by aliens so easily? It happend at least five times on Star Trek:TOS alone. Captains should be issued with Krookloks.

7-9 The Enterprise keeps encountering older,wiser civilisations whose philosophies resemble wharever poo-psychology bilge reigns in America at the time: 60's hippie relativism in TOS, 80's inner-child toss in TNG, and 90's identity politics in Voyager and DS9.

10 Captian Janeway; Joyce Grenfell in a leotard.

11-12 Chekov and Sulu: What's the difference?

13 The Captain's Log and all its attendant jokes.

14 Dilithuim crystals: clunking plot device, or custom made punchline for every other Star Trek joke?

15 The "fully coherent and usable" Klingon language. Who cares?

16 Have you ever met anyone whose last name was Janeway?

17 Counsellor Troi and her enormously useful empath talent of stating the bleeding obvious. e.g. vicious aliens blow up the moon. Troi's insight?

"I sense aggression."

18 Riker's beard: badly concealed chinlessness, just like Gerry Adams.

19 Scotty: how come he never says, "Och,hoots the noo, Captain"?

20 There are no fatties on the Entprise. Anyone who's been to America will recognise this for the desperate wish-fulfilment it is.( No disrespect I am a healthy 23 stone myself.)

21 Picards habit of fiddling with his uniform whenever he has to face Johnny Alien.

22 Star Trek: The Motion Picture. Ooh! It's just a load of B-movie tubsters reuniting in desperation! It's a motion picture! Slow Motion or No Motion More like

23 They have a planet called Bringloid 5.

24 The Starfleet uniform introduced for the movies, which just happenend to include a paunch-disguising chunky-knit sweater.

25-26 Lieutenant Tom Paris and Harry Kim on Voyager; what are they for? A quick Suggestion Here www.novad.com for those of you who wont be offended. I refer you to The secret logs of Mistress Janeway.

28 The gratuitous lesbian subplot featuring foxy Dax of DS9.

29 The Klingon spaceship called the P'Rang.

30 William Shatner's habit. Of breaking up ALL HIS LINES. Into bite-sized. Chunks. And randomly SHOUTING SOME OF THEM. In the ............ mistaken belief. That he is. Acting. And not camping it up like a blithering old ham.

31 No one ever ever reads anything except "reports".

32 Counsellor Troi sits next to Picard on the bridge: by the the 25th century social workers will be more important than the guys who work the phasers.

33 Star Trek Figures .

34 Scotty's accent. Come on, is he Scottish or Irish or what?

35 Whoopi Goldberg.

36 Every Character has to get possessed by aliens or go mad at least once, in order that they can act out their Desiginated National Stereotype. (e.g. Chekov doing a Cossak sabre dance on the bridge)

37 The Transporter beam is easier to jam than medium-wave radio. Result: endless, repetitive negotiations with local despots for the return of Tasha Yar, McCoy or some ambassodors who look like giant halibut.

38 Tribbles

40 Wesley Chrusher. Who let that child on to the bridge? A focus group of Californian Idiots, thats who.

41 You can always tell who is going to die.

42 The Borg. A lame rip off of the Cybermen, and not nearly as frightening.

43 There are no seatbelts on the Enterprise.

44 The Holo-deck. So there isn't enough going on in infinte space to make this series intersting?

45Captain Janeway's hair: the 25th century's answer to the Margaret Thatcher cut.

46 The old Laughing-into-warp-drive finale that ends three out of four episodes

47 All Star Trek fans.

48 Particularly the ones who say, "It's not Trekkie, it's Trekker."