the star trek parody - prologue

Course: Very Long Star Trek Parody

Prerequisites: any 4 ST:TNG episodes and the following ST:TOS episodes:

Mirror, Mirror Obsession Operation -- Annihilate! The Man Trap The Doomsday Machine The Immunity Syndrome The Savage Curtain The Return of the Archons    Miri This Side of Paradise Charlie X and too many others to mention.

In case you missed last week's episode, here's the synopsis for "The Savage Curtain, II": While orbiting the planet Excalbia, the Enterprise is confronted by a giant figure of Jerry Lewis in space. Since all Frenchmen revere Lewis, Picard beams Lewis aboard. Picard gives Lewis a tour of the ship with zany results (Jerry shuts down engines, separates saucer, and gets his head stuck in Troi's cleavage). Then Picard and Riker transport down to surface with Lewis where they meet Riker's favorite, David Letterman, as well as the Three Stooges and John Candy in a giant bakery filled with pies. They learn that they are the subjects of an experiment by rocklike aliens who wish to understand the human concept of "slapstick humor". After an intense pie fight, Letterman persuades the rock-creatures to do "Stupid Alien Tricks" and the creatures are so humiliated that they release Picard and Riker, though they hit the Enterprise with a gigantic cream pie as a final parting shot. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Prologue:

Picard: Captain's Log, Supplemental. We are heading through an extremely dangerous region of space to pick up needed medicines from the planet Dominos II. Our mission is routine, but I can't shake an ominous feeling.

Wesley: Jean-Luc, sir, I've just modified our sensors again and I've found three strange objects approaching us. And there are some unusual sensor readings on the surface.

Picard: Shut up, Wesley! I need to expand the limits of my character and you've interrupted what was going to be a hauntingly classic monologue.

Yar: Why didn't I get to say that? I never get to say anything.

Picard: Lt. Yar? I thought you were dead.

Yar: I got a new contract. That episode was just a dream.

[Wesley stalks off to the turbolift; turbolift door closes and we switch scenes to the transporter room where Wesley is tinkering with controls. He mutters, "This'll show them" and walks to transporter pad. We get a flash of the effect from "Mirror, Mirror" to show Wesley is transporting to alternate universe; upon arrival, we see a gosh-wow expression on his face as he dashes out of transporter room. Quickly cut to original universe, where alternate Wesley materializes; instead of a sweater, he's wearing a black leather jacket and has scraggly tufts of facial hair. With an evil smirk, he slinks out of the transporter room. Now return to clean-cut Wesley bursting into sick bay, where the alternate Picard and Crusher are humping furiously.]

Wesley: Mom, I didn't know you had stretch marks!

Crusher: [uunnnhhh]    OK, Jean-Luc,    [oooh] space the kid.

Picard:    [reaches to touch communicator on his shirt on floor]    Security, Ensign Crusher will be visiting the Agony Booth.

Wesley: The Agony Booth? What's that, is it fun? [a topless Yar bursts in, grabs Wesley, and drags him away to the Agony Booth; Picard and Crusher exchange a "well, that's that" glance and proceed to go at it again.]

[Dramatic music, cut to opening sequence and commercial.]

[episode name: Where Everyone Has Gone Before]

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