The Decomposition of Davidson

As it began, he resembled that of a patriarch to our coven. Davidson Greggory was our teacher & mentor. We obeyed & learned from him. We grew to love him undoubtedly, each in our own way. He gave a new life to me, the twins and Stefan. We all saw him in much the same way. But the others were less perceptive as I. I saw things beneath his surface that the others did not. We bonded because of it. I shared an extra bonus side to him to which the others were not even aware. He would instruct us, and show us how to be cunning & insightful, knowledgable. He taught us how to sense the emotions of others & use to our advantage. He felt knowledge was as great a defense as was our strength & thirst. He felt it was important to out-smart any enemy, if nothing more. Years of instruction we endured from him. We never complained, it was done in such a way that we enjoyed it. Like a hands-on training, kinda thing. ( giggles)

He encouraged each of us to blossom into beautiful people. Each were unique in different ways & he loved that about us as a whole. He loved the variety in all of our personalities. That was the only thing we had in common, we were all so unique. He settled arguments and mended mistakes. He was one extraordinary vampire. He shared very little about his personal side with the others. After years had passed, he began to open up to me more & more. I treasured it, for I felt it was a rare gift. I looked up to him so much, I felt honored that he chose me in which to share himself. I had so much respect for him, because he was so honest and showed me how to use honesty in the way it was meant to be used. He documented his life, travels, and emotions into a journal. I adopted the same habit although I had been doing it in silence for years.

He had many lovers, I gathered, from his behavior. He had no trouble attracting women...or men for that matter. Either sex was mesmerized by his presence. He captured the essence of a genderless soul. He was an extraordinary human being. He endulged in many varieties of people, as though the world & everyone in it was his box of chocolates. He had taken in a young man, Stefan, and taught him as well. It bothered me that he would choose a companion like Stefan in which to share his private world. It often created a rivalry between Stefan and me. As if it needed any extra encouragement. I just couldn't understand why he wanted such a baphoon around. I guess everyone has a reason for what they do...I just hadn't figured that one out as of yet. My devotion for him shined through the roughest of times. And only in the end would he see just how far my devotion would ultimately go. I would lay down & die for him, just to spare him any pain. The world would not be the same without Davidson in it. I was his little drama queen, he loved how exciting I made everything around for us. I gathered everyone together most of the time, taking care of the goodies & transportation. I took care of Davidson, as though he were royalty. He adored the attention. But each of us made our own dramamtic entrances to the club, too many of us were conceited & hogged the spotlight. I suppose I came across as a jealous lover when he showed another attention. I didn't mean too, I felt like a protector moreso, than some kind of jealous lover. Maybe he had taught me too well, and now I could foresee what lie ahead for him when he could not. Making true the statement, be careful what you wish for, you just might get it. And it doesn't always turn out exactly how you wish.

I suppose he could tell you he had one true love, maybe. I loathed the idea of his heart being stolen by one not so worthy. Because I hated it so, I should have been better prepared for what lie ahead. He often spoke on one woman in particular. At first, I didn't mind it. But over many years I would see just how wrong she was for him. I could not crack him to see what was really going on inside. He kept it locked away from anyone, not just me. I began to feel that he was only revealing what he wanted me or the others to know. He was the last one I thought who could literally lose it. He was so together, I thought nothing would ever change him. I thought nothing could change him. Late, in the hours before dawn, I would sneak into his study, pour myself a brandy & read through his books. It just felt comfortable being in there. I'm sure he always knew, with remnants of cigarettes & brandy filling the room, how could he not? But he never questioned, knowing I had not disturbed anything private, I assume. He knew, as well as I, that if I had a question, I could come to him and ask, knowing he would give me a straight & honest answer. So my sneaking into his study wasn't like rifling through his personal things. Besides, his diaries were well-hidden, and I wasn't ready to learn what could be written in them.

It was hard to watch someone make mistakes & not say or do anything to prevent them from happening. I thought that was the idea behind having close friends, to watch out for you. But he began to overlook my concern, pretend nothing was wrong, when I knew different. I could have picked out 1,000 women more suitable for him than the one that ultimately did steal his heart. I knew from the beginning she would either break his heart or break the man. Maybe she would do both, and for that....I loathed her. I envisioned the dissection of a frog, as Davidson. Slowly, he is cut open to reveal the secrets that lie inside, never to be put together in quite the same way that he was in the beginning. It was blasphemy, at her hands.

It never occurred to me that the entire existence of our coven could have been a carefully articulated plan. Each step he took was scheduled, as though he were making a pattern. After all the years of preparation, was he grooming me only to ultimately cut me loose someday? Had he built the coven for me to bond with & take on the matriarch role after he left? I was beginning to feel the pressure creeping up on me. I often wondered if I was only upset because I had not hand picked her myself for him. Would I have behaved differently if I had chosen his ultimate love? I was left to wonder...was anything we shared truly real? My mind recalled a mortal memory in a flash, I remembered the night I found out there wasn't a Santa Claus. I was devasted as a child. It was something I believed to be so real, pure & hopeful....to be shattered by the lie. It was a piece of the mountain of things that drove me to my would-be suicide. And there my angel came to me....Davidson. I wept as the memories flooded my mind like the tears from my dark eyes.

His absences were subtle at first. He stayed mainly with us. I began to notice he disappeared only at certain times of the year. And he was extremely private about his whereabouts, only Stefan would possibly know. I knew he was quite a distance away, I could feel how far away sometimes, even if he would be standing close to me. We shared so many things & I respected him so much, that it literally killed me inside to watch him slowly disappear. The man I knew, respected, learned from, and ultimately loved, one day came to no longer exist. I saw the shell of the man, I once knew. I never experienced a pain quite like it. Difficult to watch the principle in which our relationship was built upon, now crumble beneath itself, detonated by lies. My blood would boil at the mere thoughts that he could have even thought for one second he was not betraying me in some way. I never thought, in my wildest dreams, anything would ever break our bond. But I now questioned that. My whole existence was in question. What was I doing with all of them? Was I co-dependant on Davidson or any of the coven for that matter? I thought it odd to find such comfort sometimes in being absolutely alone. But now all of a sudden it made perfect sense to me. I grinned, shaking my head yes, in a semi-stoned state of mind, gazing lazily. It made sense. I had taken it for granted, for so many years, the fact that he would never be out of my life. So when it actually began happening, I could not believe it. He was choosing a life, in complete contradiction to everything he taught us. I wanted to choke him to death. I was so angry that he could honestly think he could live out those silly mortal fantasies he chased around in his head. How & when did he become so blind?

Not only did these thoughts & feelings about him emerge, but I watched his relationships with everyone slowly collapse. He quit going around Cat, and that's what told me there was something really wrong. He never avoided Cat. But something inside told me I didn't know everything about him and Cat. It wasn't what it seemed, something just didn't add up to me. Slowly everything I thought I knew about him steadily went downhill. I saw things in him I never thought I would live long enough to see, but never say never. Remember that one.

As I watched the downfall of the coven, it never occured to me Davidson would follow the same path. It was the last thought I had in the beginning of our relationship. But it was materializng before my very eyes. My only choice was to turn to Cat. Everything Davidson had stood for, was bogus. How could he be unaware of what was happening to all of us by his own hands? He had to be aware, he was denying it, this I knew within the core of my being. I would have to turn my back on him, the last thing I thought I would ever do. But I was not the only one. As far as I was concerned he had made his coffin & now must lie in it. I hoped he paid severely. I wanted him to go to hell, where I thought he belonged. Our kind was evil that goes without saying, but to turn on your kind own was even worse. I damned him to hell, it was a mission I planned to carry out, with a little help from Cat, of course. ~wicked, evil grin~

Until that blessed night I kept myself busy with spells & herbs & candles...some of the things I loved. I planned everything I was todo to my maker. Nothing would stop me from ending his reign of terror upon me & the rest. I loathed him more, it seemed, with every passing moment. His disposal was my only way out. There were no other answers, or options. It never left my thoughts from night to night.

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