[Picard] "Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a
weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command
pathways?" 

[Geordi]"Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching through our archives
on late Twentieth-century computingtechnology." 

[Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer screen.] 

[Riker looks puzzled.] "What the hell is 'Microsoft'?" 

[Data turns to answer.] "Allow me to explain. We will send this program, for some
reason called 'Windows', through the Borg command pathways. Once inside their root
command unit, it will begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate." 

[Picard] "But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they alter their processing
systems to increase their storage capacity?" 

[Data] "Yes, Captain. But when 'Windows' detects this, it creates a new version of
itself known as an 'upgrade'. The use ofresources increases exponentially with each
iteration. The Borg will not be able to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all of their
processing ability will be taken over and none will be available for their normal
operational functions." 

[Picard] "Excellent work. This is even better than that 'unsolvable geometric shape'
idea." 

.. . . 15 Minutes Later . . . 

[Data] "Captain, We have successfully installed the 'Windows' in the command unit and
as expected it immediately consumed 85 of all resources. We however have not
received any confirmation of the expected 'upgrade'." 

[Geordi] "Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg storage and CPU capacity
to compensate, but we still have no indication of an 'upgrade' to compensate for their
increase." 

[Picard] "Data, scan the history banks again and determine if their is something we have
missed." 

[Data] "Sir, I believe there is a reason for the failure in the 'upgrade'. Appearently the
Borg have circumvented that part of the plan by not sending in their registration cards. 

[Riker] "Captain we have no choice. Requesting permission to begin emergency escape
sequence 3F . . ." 

[Geordi, excited] "Wait, Captain; I just detected their CPU capacity has suddenly
dropped to 0 

[Picard] "Data, what do your scanners show?" 

[Data] "Appearently the Borg have found the internal 'Windows' module named
'Solitaire' and it has used up all the CPU capacity." 

[Picard] "Lets wait and see how long this 'solitaire' can reduce their functionality." 

.. . . Two Hours Pass . . . 

[Riker] "Geordi, what's the status on the Borg?" 

[Geordi] "As expected the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to compensate for
increased CPU and storage demands, but each time they successfully increase
resources I have setup our closest deep space monitor beacon to transmit more
'windows' modules from something called the 'Microsoft fun-pack'. 

[Picard] "How much time will that buy us ?" 

[Data] "Current Borg solution rates allow me to predicate an interest time span of 6
more hours." 

[Geordi] "Captain, another vessel has entered our sector." 

[Picard] "Identify." 

[Data] "It appears to have markings very similar to the 'Microsoft' logo" 

[Over the speakers] "THIS IS ADMIRAL BILL GATES OF THE MICROSOFT
FLAGSHIP MONOPOLY. WE HAVE POSITIVE CONFIRMATION OF
UNREGISTERED SOFTWARE IN THIS SECTOR. SURRENDER ALL ASSETS
AND WE CAN AVOID ANY TROUBLE. YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS" 

[Data] "The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and 
released thousands of humanoid shaped objects." 

[Picard] "Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft" 

[Riker] "Good God captain! Those are humans floating straight toward the Borg ship
with no life support suits ! How can they survive the tortures of deep space ?!" 

[Data] "I don't believe that those are humans sir, if you will look closer I believe you
will see that they are carrying something recognized by twenty-first century man as doe
skin leather briefcases, and wearing Armani suits" 

[Riker and Picard together (horrified)] "Lawyers !!" 

[Geordi] "It can't be. All the Lawyers were rounded up and sent hurtling into the sun in
2017 during the Great Awakening." 

[Data] "True, but appearently some must have survived."  

[Riker] "They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it with all types of
papers." 

[Data] "I believe that is known in ancient venacular as 'red tape' it often proves fatal." 

[Riker] "They're tearing the Borg to pieces !" 

[Picard] "Turn off the monitors. I can't stand to watch, not even the Borg deserve that."