"Item One, my kinsman Rory has brought it to my attention that there is a large problem with stray animals in Amber. First, there is the issue that unscrupulous merchants are using the meat from such animals to sell for citizens' consumption. Second, there is the problem that some of these animals speak, and talking cats are known to be allied to either Nuevo Sangre or Rolondae. Therefore, I am calling for all unlicensed animals to be impounded. Those animals kept as pets, such as Rory's talking ocelot, are to be brought in for licensing, and -- if necessary -- vetting in both senses of the word.
"Item Two, my sister Alexis has made it clear to me that many of the shires my cousins received upon arriving in Amber are actually unfit for human habitation, to say nothing of Amberites. Therefore, in my capacity as Lord Mayor, I am offering citizenship in the city of Amber to those who have been toiling in those unmerciful lands. Any of my kin who escort subjects from their own lands, or from others in the case where the plight of the subjects has been neglected or willfully exploited, may present them to the Lord Mayor's office for receipt of citizenship papers.
"Item Three, Alexis and I are agreed that the city is too isolated from Castle Amber. To that end, as Lord Mayor, I hereby declare the post of Official Observer from Castle Amber, a post I would offer to our father Gerard, or any of his siblings who would wish to accept it."
"Item Four, King Oberon and I agree that the shabby gallows system I inherited is intolerable. Therefore, I am inviting the Executioners' Guild from a Shadow I have dwelled in to open a Guild Hall here. They are willing to receive apprentices on the same basis as Zariya has arranged for other skilled trades to invite Amberites to apply for apprenticeships. There will also be a savings on executions, as poisons and axes are cheaper than the construction of gallows.
"Item Five, on a related note, Guilds for Accountancy and for Barristers have also expressed an interest in receiving apprenticeships. The Sheriff's office will be applying funds saved on executions to help fund extra positions. We believe this investment will pay, as it will be easier to detect and prove cases of fraud. We are particularly bothered by reports that unscrupulous scum plan to re-institute lifetime indentured servitude through fraudulent contracts. Slavery will be among those charges for which capital punishment will be recommended."
The Postmasters Office reminds the loyal citizens of the Amber hinterlands that travel on His Majesty's official highways, whether to or from the city, requires a permit. These permits can be acquired from any of the tollhouses on the highways for a modest fee.
"Fortunately, our cousin Zariya has already established that Royals of Amber should be exempt from such duties. I believe the Postmaster's Office will be gracious enough to extend such consideration to staff and guest traveling with them. And of course, in the case of Trump travel, I believe the issue is moot."
The Postmasters Office wishes to correct the above erroneous statement. There are catagorically no exemptions. By leave of His Majesty, permits may be issued gratis to assist in the carrying out of the business of the Crown.
His Worship has overlooked the fact that trump travel does not require a road, and therefore is outside of the authority of this office.
This text is copyright © Mitch Maltenfort and Alan Wake; "Amber" is copyright © Roger Zelazny; "Amber" the diceless RPG is copyright © Phage Press. No copyright infringement is intended.
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