On a yearly basis, the Amber Gazette will receive a renewal of its licence from the Lord Chamberlain.

For the preliterate, the Amber Gazette will be read out loud ever morning at 9 am and at high noon and at 3 pm by town criers. The Gazette will also be read out by criers at High Noon at Dockside, Hightown Square, and at Peglegton and Olde Streets.

Some News Stories:

Prince Julian says Morgenstern is recovering.

Prince Julian confirmed to the fans of his demonic hellhorse that the black steed is recovering following what seems like a stone in his hoof. Julian refused to acknowledge rumours that the stone was an anti magical rock of kregora ore.

The stone strained a few of the large horse's muscles and thre groomsmen were bitten and five stableboys were savagely kicked in the aftermath. Said Julian,"That is just the way things go. Morgenstern never bites anyone below the rank of groom."

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Gerard Fails Diet... Again

Prince Gerard of Amber has broken his diet. Amber's meaty prince was spotted at the pit devouring half a side of ox with gravy and drippings. He was proud that he abstained from more than a couple pounds of potatos.

King Oberon placed Gerard on a diet when the Haven Broadcasting Corporation released the results of increasing sizes of tunics and armour that Gerard has ordered from shadow merchants. His waist has exceeded 59 inches before Oberon summoned the fatboy of Amber and placed him on a strict diet.

Rumours from the Palace indicate that Gerard may be barred from the kitchen and that any merchant selling food to Gerard may be hanged by conviction by the Sheriff or Lord Mayor.

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Editorial - Where are our Hangings?

An order came from the Palace to Prince Dunstree telling him that Amber's Royal Liege has ordered more hangings. Yippie!

Hangings are the favourite public entertainment for our populations. Vendors and souvenir sellers make their livelihood on the punishment of Amber's enemies and felons.

The Lord Mayor and Sheriff are not hanging anyone. As of late, no one has been hanged by the neck until dead or even till sore in the neck, by either the Sheriff or Lord Mayor.

With Prince Mandor of Chaos coming, it is only respectful that we honour him with a few hangings. Preferably chaos spies.

Come on Dunce-tree, get off your high morality kick and string some up and high for us.

The People of Amber are Calling.

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Amberwarts?

With the shocking lack of manners in Amber's newer and older royalty, it is expected that King Oberon will order many of Amber's young Princes and Princesses to join well known slobs such as Gerard and Corwin and Random to go to special seminars held by Dame Margot and assisted by Princess Florimel.

Said Mad Abigail,"I am a Princess of Amber, didn't you hear me tell you that I am a Princess of Amber. I am a much better eater than Alexis and she's the best of those bunch of punks."

Added Droppa Ma Pantz,"Well... I do want people to be relaxed and happy in my bar "The Pit" - home of the Happy Hour 24/7. So I really don't care how messy they eat." Droppa did admit Rory had the worst manners,"But that doesn't bother me."

Said one of Princess Zariya's serving maids,"Have you seen Rory eat? He is a pig! My Lady was seeing the ill mannered Prince and she told him he was a swine and that he should be put in a pig pen." the maid continued by saying that Zariya told Rory that he was a disgrace to the House of Oberon.

Princess Alexis has her own dark secrets, a seamstress who was returning some dresses admitted that Alexis has polyester gowns."In Thelbane, that would get her thrown out of most restaurants."

The seamstress also said she saw Alexis and Jada chowing down on a large flat bread with tomato sauce and meats and vegetables on it. "They used their hands to eat it and they had tomato sauce all over their dresses. At first I thought they were killing each other but they were just being piggies."

This need for court ettiquete comes at a time with Chaos' beau of manners and propriety the esteemed Prince Mandor of House Sawall is stationed as an envoy to Amber.

Chaos magazines and Haven newspapers long mock the court of Amber as being rude and uncouth. If Chaosites and slurpeesuckers think we are rude that should not matter but when our younger Royals prove their accusations correct, that is a time for action.

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Tanturak says that it is not receiving Kolvir weapons

The small self proclaimed Empire of Tanturak which is about the size of a pimple on the face of Creation, has claimed yet again that they are not receiving weapons from the Kolvirii kingdoms.

"The Kolvirii are landlocked. How can they send anything out by sea. Amber is watching every matchbox they export and Rory is probably stealing from them too." said the Magician, special hereditary advisor to Tanturak's human emperors. Prince Rory is becoming reputed for his avaricious trade practices offending the non mercantile Tanturak warriors.

The Magician refuted claims that Kolvir is aiding Tanturak and instead warned of increased Amber imperialism and hegemony. "We are convinced that Oberon wants Lordship and Dominion of all Ardor and this is unacceptable."

This text is copyright © Craig Lucas; "Amber" is copyright © Roger Zelazny; "Amber" the diceless RPG is copyright © Phage Press. No copyright infringement is intended.

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