(Based on I am Joe, Canadian)

            Guten Tag, Ich bin Hans

            I am not in the Storm Watch
            And not smuggling Dr. Pepper into Haven
            I don't eat cherry coke for breakfast
            I don't watch the football game while doing it wolfy style
            And I don't know Ulrich, Dolph, or Katrina in the Working Palace though I am sure they all have nice black wolves.
            I smoke Havana cigars in Bombays
            I speak Trinity English, not snotty Haven English or Amber Tharri
            I pronounce it "gay-rahj" not "gah-rawj" and "woof" not "wolf"
            And Eating cheese curds with gravy makes sense.
            I believe that Mecks rule as long as someone else makes the troops for it.
            I believe in secret police not equal rights.
            I believe that club supersex is an appropriate form of entertainment unlike those prissy Haven twits.
            In Trinity, the Mecklenberg cup actually comes around more than Halley's Comet
            I can get beer at the 7-11, not stupid slurpees
            And maybe I can't jaywalk across the street but gotterdammerung, I can goosestep through it.
            Because Trinity is the world's largest producer of handcuffs and prison suits
            And Trinity is the home of the King Reinhard of Trinity and Queen Sarah.
            The land where people are proud to tip!
            And the legal drinking age is only a suggestion
            Ich bin Hans and I am a Trinity Fascist!

            (And I am not a cheap Haven Bastard who is too cheap to tip)

            This text is copyright © Craig Lucas; "Amber" is copyright © Roger Zelazny; "Amber" the diceless RPG is copyright © Phage Press. No copyright infringement is intended.

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