Oberon is singing to a rap beat, "I'm King"

"My wife Mirenna and I declare Amber City Well wicked. Unicorn Bless all those chill out with it - get down and that's an order"

Oberon is wearing a full ermine cloak and has silver boots and has a plastic and rhinestone copy of the Imperial State crown that falls down one ear of the old redheaded monarch.

Rory is wearing a green wrestler's leotard with the words "I'm not a real Brandite" and on the back it reads,"Hail Brand, Ruler of Creation!" and is in a threatening position shaking his fist. He sings,"My name's Rory's as butch as they come, so come join me so I can kill my Mum.

"We're wicked." sings Balaam as he finishes swigging his third case of cheap Remban wine that Llewella sent him.

"Nomenklature and My name's Vladimir I was just wondering is this beat Pattern friendly?" Vladimir says as he is wearing a cossack fur hat and opens his robes and there is a full Frankenfurter outfit.

Oberon sings out"The GPC thinks I should Abdicate but if want to loot Amber again then you will have to wait (till the Abyss grows palm trees)" Gives a two fingered British insult gesture to Jasra's picture.

"Im King" Oberon signs and he has a skull as a wine cup as Nicolo is pouring him Glenfidditch Scotch

"He's King" Sings the Amber Court carrying firebrands and pitchforks "Know what I mean" as Oberon takes a golf swing with the tee stuck in Whitley's nose.

"GPC Sucks" says Balaam opening up a crate of Thelbane burgundy wine.

"We love our kids as much is clear." Fiona says to Julian as they are sitting in Court. Julian replies back as he pushes a button on a space invaders game called 'Haven Invaders'.

"We see them at least twice a year" Julian tells Fiona as he cheats and then throws the game up and smashes it in the ceiling candles. Oberon turns Julian into a turnip and Fiona steals his coin bag left beside him.

"If you split up like Mordred and Cat-ty, who will get custody of Prince Ratty?" says Xanthus pointing out Cedric's lack of Elven years to Mirienna. Xanthus is wearing a Tshirt, 'Arden Forest Elf Dancers'.

"Drinking!" Balaam says with a bright red nose opening up Vladimir's box of vodka and beginning to swill it down.

"Chill out Breyd." says Scherazade from her jail cell as she is in black and white convict stripes banging her tin cup on the bars.

"Don't you like this new house?" Alexis says to Dunstree who is walking Oberon's prize poodles.

Alexis is wearing about seventy medals and assorted orders and sashes around her neck. She has an ugly modern architecture style Guild Hall for Paolo ,made out of recycled plastic popbottles.

"Its a monsterous carbuncle,"Dunstree says as the poodles drag him through Amber market and he crashes into a vegetable stand and has his head in a watermellon.

"I'm ninety centuries you know." Dworkin says to the young students at DSS. He is wearing black robes and a cap and mortar.

"Isn't it time you were recycled" Kieran says to him cheekily.

"On your knees grovel! Cower!" Oberon tells the elder princes as they kowtow in rhythem bonking their heads on his rug, "I'm the King. I've got the power."

GOD LIKE THUNDER!
"I've got the power." Oberon roars in a terrible voice
"I'm the king, Here's my one ring!"

"I am an Oberonist." says some old pirate who is sinking some merchant's ship. "I am on the King's Honour's list"

"I think that they've all gone bonkers" Zariya says disgusted to Rowan. Zariya is dressed like Barbara Eden in I dream of Jeannie.

"You are the one talking feline to a cheetah, Dumb Canaanite" Rowan tells Zariya

"Hey man save Mumakans" Dunstree says to Breyd. Dunstree is now walking dachshunds and they have Meier's Wieners on the side of them. Breyd has a Pippy Longstocking outfit on.

"Do we have a cottage there?" Sabine says eagerly. She is wearing one of Dara's old hand me down gowns and a cheap tiara.

"Yes Roritania Castle." Dunstree says drily to her. In the background Rory is whipping Mumakans in cotton fields.

"Pump up the volume," yells Balaam who is now working on a new case of plastic cider bottles and the room is now filled with empty booze bottles. "Baileys!"

"Kill the Bolsheviks you know!" yells Xanthus impatiently, who whispers to Aura in a red bikini with lights blinking in strategic places,"What type of orc is a Bolshevik"

"I'm nine hundred generations old, you know," Dworkin tells the DSS Class.

"SHUT UP" They yell back at him led by Cassius and Constantine.

"When we get trouble from some old hack-ette, its time to praise the Unicorn racket." Bleys assures Eric as they play tennis in maximillian plate armour without helmets.

"HAIL AMBERESIS!" sings a devoted chior on command.

"I'm the King
And sometimes I have a fling"
Oberon shakes his head negatively denying it quickly when Xanthus walks in on him and Nicolo hides under the throne.

"And Queen Mirienna looks elegantly in her a Buckywear Tiara and matching support tights. She waves to the Nobles elegantly waving her butt and shifting her elven eyebrows," says Dame Margot being sniffy and over proper.

"I'm High Noldor" Mirenna says, as she is sniffs some gort from a silver snuff box.

"Most of the Amber Royal Family are." mutters Elendil growling as he throws darts at the symbol of the Royal Noldor House of Finwe. Elendil is wearing a muscle shirt reading SILVANS DO IT NATURALLY.

"Who mixed this song?" grumbles Gunther waving his axe menacingly and pasting on a new beard and pigtails to look like a barbarian. He throws it into Rory's picture.

"Drive puppies,"Yells Dunstree as they rush into Balaam's office and the room overflows with bottles clattering and avalanching over both dogs and Dunstree.

Rory and Aura are not visible but making provocative grunts and groans. "That's it!"
"Come on Aura"
"You can do it!"

"Why can't we use the pulleys and trumps like everyone else?"Complains Aura helping as she and Rory are pulling sacks of Rory's gold up a high flight of stairs

"Jasra may be gone and Finndo's through -o. King Oberon is your Numero Uno" tells Master Gram as he whacks Exthian with a pointer across the knuckles.

"That's my Imbolc rap to say," Oberon sits with his throne on a pile of skulls with Abyss hags fawning over his feet. "The House of Oberon rules OK"

"He's King... And he's mean."

(Repeats for a while...)

This text is copyright © Craig Lucas; "Amber" is copyright © Roger Zelazny; "Amber" the diceless RPG is copyright © Phage Press. No copyright infringement is intended.

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