I awoke with a start, refraining from crying out instinctively. Yes, yes, I know. It's all generic, isn't it? How stories start, and how the hero is always right and all that. This is just another start now, hmm? Just another page in some unseen story, and we're all the characters to live or die by some unknown author's whim. But I did awake from some bad dreams. Why they were sent to me I know not, but...I felt they were a warning somehow.

They were composed of mostly my uncle Benedict. He was doing what he does best: killing. Except, in this case, it wasn't some enemy threatening Amber (or perhaps it was, how do I know?); he was killing blood kin, cousins of mine. How I knew they were cousins, I don't know, but as with all dreams, that knowledge is just imparted upon you, known to the depth of your being.

I crawled out of bed in some disarray. I had been on a bender for a few days--the last couple being no more than a blur. My head pounded, but that was already receding thankfully. I somewhat arranged myself and opened the door to my chambers, intending on getting some food, and something to drink. Two guards were there. They succinctly informed me that I was confined to chambers by Julian, yet another uncle, and one who never liked me in the slightest. What a bothersome day this was turning out to be. So, I sent them away for a servant, and shut the door again.

What to do? I pondered this as I sat down in my favorite chair, overstuffed and entirely too comfortable. Sometimes, dreams and visions intertwined until I could not tell them apart. Also, while I don't exactly know what the visions are, or what they mean, sometimes they can be useful. Sometimes, they can be bent to my will. No, no, nothing like using people in the visions, but...well, bother and rot. It'd take days to explain it, and end up explaining nothing. Just keep in mind that sometimes they aren't always unwelcome.

I was deep in my contemplation of them, and wondering where my cousins were when I was startled out of my reverie by a kiss. It wasn't an ordinary kiss, nor was it an ordinary woman who was giving it to me.

I jumped back from surprise, or would have but I was seated. She seemed rather startled as well. I drank in her perfect form, with dark hair and skin like cream, and stammered out a response of sorts, "Gracious lady...I am not...accustomed to being accosted in my bedchamber." That was certainly the truth. "If you would care to explain," I went on, gathering my wits about me as I spoke, "surely I won't need to call for the guards that stand right outside this room." She was wearing the most interesting thing, a sort of tight suit, all in black. I had seen those somewhere before, but the sight of her form in that outfit and my wits all but left me again. Women do tend to do that to me. That's why I stay away from them, but...I digress.

"I really wish you wouldn't," she said in a breathy sigh as she twisted before I could react and seated herself in my lap. Being so close to her, I could see her a bit more in the dim light, with eyes like stars, and skin like cream. Her dark hair framed her angelic face, and my body stirred at the contact. Something which she couldn't have missed. I felt my face flush slightly, but the dim light that made it difficult to see her hid the blush.

Her next words stunned me.

"It simply wouldn't do, baby brother, for me to be put in a position where I would have to break some of Random's toy soldiers."

"Brother?!?" I exclaimed in shock. I nearly vomited in her lap. A sister?!? It wasn't impossible, but it was unlikely, and I felt sick. I still desired her, you see, and that's what made me sick. My own sister. How revolting and disgusting was that? I truly am a sick, sick man.

The shock played across my features. Aristocracy may have trained me well, but not that well. It almost seemed to amuse her, and I prayed silently that she couldn't sense the source of my shock. I hid my face by looking down into my lap, but that didn't help mattes much. "You must be mistaken; I have no sister."

Still, I looked up at her again, and tried to be objective. Here and there, there were resemblances. And she made me uncomfortable. Only family could really do that, with Father being the master of that skill. She rivaled him in that. "Still," I said uncomfortably, "there is more than a passing resemblance. Might I inquire as to what you're doing here, erm, in Amber?"

"My agenda at the moment?" she asked musically. "Obviously I want to spend some time with you... and perhaps with your help, to discover a way to retrieve our father if it's possible at all... Not to mention dealing suitable retribution on the Ass of Arden for this latest insult inflicted on you, dear brother".

Even as my stomach lurched at that (which admittedly could have been left over from my binge), it all served to sharpen my wit again. Only family...only someone who was well and truly insane would want Father back again, to go looking for him in that place. I saw the Abyss once, after I heard where and how he died. Just once was all it took for me to consign him there forever, content with that. And retribution on Julian...? The thought had never occurred to me. Why should it? He was a Prince, and there would be...could be...no retribution against him. That was just the way it was, the way I was raised. Of course, then I had been the aristocrat, but times change.

Thankfully, at that moment, we both heard at the door one of the damned guards say 'Prince Laurence'. Another visitor. It was turning out to be an odd morning alright. Another voice replied, "That's right. Let me in."

I turned to the lady, "This seems to be the night for visitors... I pray, sweet lady, that you have an expediant way out as you did in." I paused, wondering at some trickle of thought for the moment, then added, "If not, I suppose you could hide yourself away in the bath, or a closet, though I'd be loathe to hide..." I stammered , "...ah, such beauty in places such as those." I stood quickly, lifting her onto her feet as I did so, all thoughts of passion escaping me as I urged her onward. "Quickly now, before they find some other reason to mislike me." I gave her a small smile, trying not to frighten her with my own paranoia. Who could this Laurence be? And why visit me? I am a nobody here. Nothing.

"Here," she whispered back slipping a card into my hand. "Call me when you can." She sashayed towards the bathroom as I watched, wondering dumbly how she could be related, and the shame that was. It wasn't until she was out of sight before I tucked away the card in a pocket, and arranged myself for Laurence.

I was just in the nick of time too for no sooner had I seated myself than this tall blond, good-looking man walked into the room. He exuded arrogance, and I misliked him at once. This one had definitely been around family. I paused to consider the lady, and decided that she must have been too. Or something so close it made no difference. He gave me a greeting of, "Hello, cousin." It was a relief to know he wasn't yet another sibling. I had two enough already.

I frowned at him, and affectated an air of bored indifference. Two can play the game. I stood, and gave him a bow. He was a Prince after all, and so must be recognized by one of my aunts or uncles. "And who might I have the pleasure of meeting this good night, good sir?"

No one ever said I was impolite.

I crossed the room to my violin and picked it up, so I had something to do with my nervous hands. The man replied with his name, then pointed towards the bathroom door, "I hope no one is hiding from me in there."

"Look for yourself," I replied, sure that the lady had gone her own way by this time. I started to hunt for the bow of my violin. I found it within seconds, and prepared to draw it across the strings.

"I surely do," he shot back, shrugging. His next words stung me, and shocked me. "So...would you like to talk or something? Or would you prefer to f***?"

A god awful noise screeched out of my violin as I lost control and pushed too hard across them. I couldn't believe what he had just said and gaped at him. Slowly, I gathered myself together, and managed to talk, "I beg your pardon?" Some other thoughts rushed together, with bits of gossip heard around the castle about me, and some things clicked into place. In a tight voice, I added to my question, "Mayhap here's a reason why Julian would confine me to my bedchamber, and mayhap not. If that is your reason for coming here, sir, I am sorry to disappoint you. I am no one's whore." I gestured to the door with the bow, "Do me some small courtesy and take your leave of me now."

No one has ever said that I am not polite.

This man, this...thing...had the audacity to sit down. In my chair. "I guess that would be it as far as introduction goes," he said. I couldn't believe my ears or eyes. "No, that is not the reason why I came here. I wanted to talk, but I had an impression you started to behave not in the proper way..." I was furious; livid; pissed. I could feel one of my black rages tugging at the corners of my mind, urging me to tear his eyes out, and...well, ok, you'll get the point. Use your imagination. "Be polite and I will return the favor."

I almost killed him right there. And if looks could kill, I would have.

"Anyways, if you still want me to leave, I will do so immediately. If you want to talk like a man, well... there is no point in talking when one is not listening, is it?"

I centered myself, and counted to ten. Lather, rinse, and repeated as well. When I was sure of my voice, I replied calmly (at least on the outside), "But...I was polite to you." I think that infuriated me more than anything else, inferring that I was less than gracious with this intruder. I shook my head to clear it, "Your manner of introductions leaves much to be desired, sir. I'm sure Benedict is awaiting you somewhere, somewhen, unless you be an uncle instead of a cousin. Then, it doesn't matter much, does it?" I frowned at myself. This anger was not a part of me, and I shoved it away. It was...unlike me at all. "Leave or stay; it is of no consequence to me."

"Thank you," he said. "You seem not interested to encourage me to start a conversation, but assuming you felt offended, I will understand that. Still, it would help if you could concentrate for a moment. A little of your precious attention would be appreciated, cousin."

Yes, yes. Cousin. I had forgotten in my anger. Ignoring him, but not, I started to play some music. Something soft and soothing to me, a low melody. The sweet notes danced in the air, making this scene almost dramatic in its hilarity.

"I always wanted to meet you," he said. Hmph. Twice in one night. I preferred my other guest more. "So, here I have this chance. Maybe I could get an ally, maybe a friend, maybe not." Definitely not now; thank you very much. "You might reply that starting a conversation from my side by speaking about sex is perhaps not the most fortunate way. You might say that and you might be right. On the other hand, I could argue that ignoring me isn't the best way for a successful meeting as well."

I wasn't ignoring him, but it might have seemed so. Let the ignorant rude Prince think so. I played on, and recorded his words carefully in my mind to puzzle over later. If nothing else, just to pin down what sort of insanities he held within him, and which of my relatives spawned such a bore. A rude bore.

He put his hand together, continuing as I continued my silence. "Alright. I suggest to drop this topic as it brings us nowhere." He finally noticed. Congratulations for him. "Oh...by the way..." he said with an incredibly false nonchalant manner, "You haven't seen Random lately, have you?"

And that was it, pure and simple. What I was accused of by Julian. I should have thought of that from the start, but Random should have been able to take care of himself. He was missing. The King really was missing, and everyone thought I was to blame. Bother and rot.

I switched songs to a funeral dirge, and sneered slightly at him. I doubt he caught the expression. "If I had, I would assume that's why I'm confined to chambers. If I haven't...it's why I'm confined to chambers." I shrugged. That made no difference, but I really should have puzzled it out on my own. Damn hangovers. I played some more, and the idiot was still silent. After a moment, I stopped and said, "I see that you would prefer it straight, an answer, that is." If for no other reason that it was the only way this cretin would understand it. "In Amber, that's a mighty request, as you should well know, though I've not seen you here in recent years. I would assume, you being related and all that rot, that you know about the politics around here. It wouldn't surprise me if our gracious King has went underground, so to speak, and nor would I blame him. To answer straightly, however, no."

"Well, call me a concrete person. Yes, I like concrete questions and answers," the neanderthal replied. "Maybe my long stay in Shadow changed me that much." He smiled, his lips being as two fat worms twisting on his face. "Well, it was just a question."

I played a few more bars, improvising a bit. Dirges were always a favorite of mine. "Why," I asked over the soothing tones of the music, "hae you wanted to meet me? I am not important in any way here, except mayhap to the barkeeps."

"Sometimes the person himself may not be aware of the fact that he is important. Besides, I wanted to meet you. I never had this opportunity before and as you know it's been ages since I last stayed in Amber. I enjoy the conversation so far.... in a way," he grinned. I tsked to myself, marking this one up as an incompetent manipulator. Mayhaps I was too bitter and cynical. But I think not.

I finished my song, and he sighed, and pretended some sort of heartfelt reminiscence. I rolled my eyes inwardly, but still applauded his taste. I am, of course, the best violinist this side of Amber, or Chaos for that matter. How could he not appreciate my playing? I was gracing him with a slice of perfection, and he at least had the wits to recognize it in some way. Maybe not totally stupid after all.

I sighed, however, "But from where and from whom have you heard of me?"

Of course, he was not telling me. "I won't create further offense by fabricating. Suffice it to say that hte relative who mentioned you to me would not be pleased that I let anything slip.

"Perhaps there is something I can do about your current situation. I'm not eager to make an enemy of Julian. But, unless there is some mitigating circumstance I don't know about, his actions seem...hasty."

I diginified that with a loud snort and bent back to playing my music. At some point, I was roused to the sound of the door shutting, and Laurence had left me. Just as well. He was rather annoying, the cretin. And rude...did I mention that?

I set my violin and bow down, and seated myself where he had been sitting. I let images play over and through me, and got the sense that relatives were in danger somewhere, and the impression of a boat. Before I could delve further, or even contemplate the impressions, Julian walked in breaking what concentration I had.

"I don't suppose you'd care to enlighten me regarding the recent attacks on my siblings?" the Ass of Arden demanded. It was an apt name for him.

I heaved a heavy sigh, and forced myself to look at him. He really was upset, pissed even. "Out of how many sibling rivalries, you happen to pick upon the one person who is innocent as a lamb," I stated, frowning at my uncle. "I didn't even know anyone was being attacked." Well, at the moment, anyway.

Before he could answer that, I pushed a bit which was certainly not the wisest of courses, "Why don't you find Corwin and put your accusation to him? Or is it just easiest to use the handiest whipping boy in lieu of other uncles?" His dislike for Corwin I had heard about somewhere. Something about burning or a card game or something.

"Corwin has proven his loyalty to Amber. Brand and his line have shown themselves to be a good deal less trustworthy. You'll have to forgive me if I don't wait for any of us to die before taking all due precautions. The servants have been instructed to provide you with anything you require--" Except freedom. "--and if you are as innocent as you claim you will remain unharmed."

"In that case," I replied hotly, "You may want to talk to your nephew Laurence. It seems he thinks he can 'get me out of here' with a snap--" and I snapped my fingers, "--of his fingers." I paused for a heartbeat, adding petulantly, "Said you were being hasty too, not that I don't agree with him."

Polite? Well, I suppose in this case I could have went with a bit more, but under the rather trying circumstances, it was hard to maintain my temper. After all, I think that if Father would have won, Julian would be licking his boots. The thought amused me, and angered me too.

It did bring to mind something that Julian had said though. "What do you mean... 'and his line'? Certainly Rinaldo is trustworthy. Vialle seems to think so."

"Rinaldo," Julian said dispassionately, "are we talking about the same man who killed Caine and attempted the same upon several other members of the family? I only hope that miscreant dares enter Amber or Arden." He had a point there. "You say Laurence was here? I will in fact look into that. Before I go, do you have anything else to offer, oh innocent lamb?" If it were anyone else but Julian, I'd say he was mocking me.

"The innocent lamb bleats uselessly at the old goat," I said, mustering some indignity at the circumstances.

"When you are ready to bleat in a more useful fashion, tell one of the guards." And he left.

I slunk backwards into the chair thinking. There was something very troubling afoot here, and it would have to be something rather great for Julian to throw around his weight like that without a scrap of proof. Why no proof? Why was I certain? I really was innocent, and knew I could not have arranged anything, even if I were drunk at the time. Why that Ass could figure that out, I don't know, unless he wanted a handy scape goat nearby.

And the lady...and Laurence. And other cousins. What an interesting morning. Was she really my sister? And where was Random anyhow? Martin was absent as well (something most people probably hadn't noticed, but I had). I hadn't seen Vialle in a while, but I'm sure she was worried sick. Fiona must have been working on it, unless this was all of her own design. There was something...some sort of...well, danger, I suppose you'd say. And too many questions with not enough answers.

Well, I couldn't have really done anything if I had sat there the whole time, could I? Of course not. So, I decided to follow up one of the leads presented to me, and Trump the lady. That must have been what she handed to me, and I drew the Trump out and looked at it. Yes, it was of her alright, and just the sight of the card made my blood warm again.

Hmm. All thoughts of that sort of thing aside, why--if she was my sister--would she contact me now and not earlier? I had the impression that she knew all about me, and she had known that Julian imprisoned me here, though it must have happened just that night, and I didn't tell her. She was also a Trump artist, I was certain. Call it a feeling, but it felt true. She could have learned that from Father, who was an accomplished Trump artist I have been told. Tantalizing questions, and with only one way to get them. So, I wrote my relatives this note:

"Dearest Uncle Julian (and other Aunts and Uncles):
I regret to inform you that I know nothing of whatever you are accusing me of. However, since I feel that due to some prejudices that may exist it would be safer for me elsewhere, I am removing myself from Amber for the time being. Please, do not fear for my safety; I assure you that I will be well. Until this matter is cleared up, and my name proven innocent, I will remain in Shadow somewhere.

Thank you for your hospitality. I greatly appreciate everything you all have done for me, to make me feel welcome. Perhaps someday I might try to reciprocate all those "warm fuzzies".

Your Nephew,
Nick"

I took some time to bring myself together, and brushed my teeth, combed my hair, trimmed the beard and mustache, and whatnot, as well as pick out some clean clothes. A good suit, with longcoat. Suitable for traveling. Hmm. And the violin. Couldn't forget that.

I took out the card and concentrated. The contact was established shortly. "Well," I said seriously, "Shall we then?"

She extended a slender arm and grasped my hand, pulling me through the contact. Brr! I hate that. Easier ways to travel there are, and ones with no strings either. Well, not many. "Any preferences to breakfast?" she asked, studying me with a smile.

"Yes," I said, "Eating it in a Shadow far, far from Amber." And if it was a fast time one, we might actually be able to finish it before Julian found I was gone. It wouldn't be long, with servants sure to come by and see about feeding me within the half-hour. I should have waited, I suppose.

"Easily arranged," she replied. She released my hand, sliding hers from mine, and brought out her Trumps. She shuffled through them and selected two out of the pack. "I hope you don't mind take-out..." What was take-out? And where would we be taking it? She held out her hand again, and I slipped mine into it, holding the violin with the other. "Ready to go?"

I nodded absently, putting some trust in her. That was utterly unlike me, and perhaps all of my blood...er, relations. Still, you had to start trusting sometimes.

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