When last we saw Lucille, the heroine (who looks like Princess Lucy) her father the Count (who looks like Prince Sean) has started to hit the bottle and is comforting the Countess the mother, who looks like Princess Moira, the second daughter is a Princess Nimue look alike.

Lucy sees something coming and says to Sean,"I think we are getting some filthy rich guests. Maybe they will give us presents."

A carriage shows up and Rory, Breyd and Lazslo come bounding out. Rory is dressed like a pirate with a cutlass. Breyd is dressed like an adventurist. Laszlo is wearing lace and poufed sleeves.

Rory says,"Where is our money for the King? We are taking over your County. Breyd is going to look for Chaos lovers and hang them in honour of the Abyss."

Breyd says,"Gimme Gimme money. The King of Amber needs money to pay for his booze and mistresses and we are going to raze this dump, sell it off to Suhuy and give those wenches to slavers."

Laszlo pulls out a shopping cart out of the carriage and starts taking paintings off the wall and starts looting. He pauses to look at a large mirror, casts a light spell and stops to admire himself.

A cart pulls up and Scherazade and Zariya are there. Zariya is riding a kiddie's horse ride machine and has a riding crop waves,"All Glory to the ShahinShah king Oberon. I will ride these Chaos loving traitors down."

Scherazade is sneaking through the premises and checks the two girls who swat her away. She then goes and starts to check under the carpet and finds some interesting 'demon' lint.

Rory says,"You guys are all deadbeats, Lazy Finndoist scum. We know you backed the Chaosites. You supported Brand and Jasra you know." he grabs the Sean looking count and starts to slap him around soundly,"Where is the cash, you chaos types are all rolling in dough."

Lucy then says to Sean,"I am leaving you. I hear I can marry a Mecklenberg and become a Princess. They are rolling in booze and they are far away from this cockroach infested land."

Sean starts crying and Rory goes and kicks him hard.

Lucy wanders out and says,"I think that blond men that goosestep are cute. And them Mecklenbergs like a woman who can bake good cookies."

Nimue and Moira cry and try to swat Rory and Breyd who are beating on Sean.

Breyd decks Nimue and kicks Moira who both fly and hit the drywall in the manor which reveals old stone passages under the modern veneer.

Breyd does not notice and goes back outside to help Rory beat up Sean.

Zariya and Scherazade go and kick down a peasant's vegetable stand,"We know that you said bad things about Great Aylatollah Caine." Zariya yells and her scimitar hacks up the mellons, corn, tomatoes and eggplant like an Iron Chef.

The peasant tries to resist but Scherazade bites his neck,"Something Lestat taught me," she grins at Zariya who is hacking the Finndo Arms off the Vegetable Stand. "Traitor to the ShahinShah!"

Nimue and Moira go down into the tunnel... It is dark and dank and looks like Oberon's torture chambers with skeletons chained on the walls.

A simple looking fellow who looks like Carlton is locked in a cage to die. The two girls free him and he joins them and they feed him a bag of Old Haven Potato Chips and a magical slurpee. He finds his cache of supersoakers and is ready to join them.

They go up and down and through a classic D&D dungeon being chased by orcs and trolls and lots of gnones. A sign reads BETTER HOMES AND DUNGEONS APPROVED.

After Sean is quite well trounched, Breyd, Rory and Laszlo followed by Zariya and Scher start down the hole after the girls....

Breyd has a morning star, Rory a bastard sword, Laszlo a mirror which he admires himself with, Zariya has a scimitar and Scher has a tall black high collared cloak on and is making vampire movements.

The Amber party chases Carlton, Nimue and Moira around up and down, into traps, into monster's lairs.

Rory and Zariya have an internal spat and Rory spits on Zariya, Zariya threatens his manhood but Breyd rabbit punches her to the back of her head letting Rory get away. Zariya chases Breyd a little. Scher tries to bite Rory on the neck and he runs from her.

Sean wakes up and finds his lucky rabbit foot and a talking fox who shows him another secret tunnel.

He ends up going to the tunnels soon enough and runs into his daughers who cry and hug him. Then they cause the ground to go out from under them and they fall down a hole which turns into a fancy waterslide that just happens to match a major Haven theme park.

Rory and company catch up and he yells indignantly at the people below,"Come back here, you sewer rats."

They start to bicker how to get down but Breyd pushes Scher in first,"Next time Im going to shave your hair off, honey." She yells at Scher.

Zariya points a scimitar at Rory's crotch and he jumps of his own volition

The rest use ropes to go down but Laszlo slips because he is too busy signing autographs for his orc fans.

Breyd cuts Zariya's rope and Zariya falls down. Then she realizes she has no rope and closes her eyes pulls out a small sword and jumps.

Meanwhile Sean Nimue Carlton and Moira end up in a room filled with treasure.

George Stobby Von Mecklenberg is there filching everything that is not nailed down.

They start asking too many questions and he hides his map inside a flap inside his black wolf and they haul off his loot leaving behind a lot more....

The outlaw grave robber, Lana Crafty makes a surprise visit and is demanding where Sean has the Toenail of Armagh. She said it was abandoned there by Captain Patronage and Major Artifact as an Offering for the Great Red Spot of Jupiter.

Sean's fox says that a redheaded guy called Rory stole it.

She goes off looking for Rory.

Rory regretably comes on them and the Amberites hold them at sword point and threaten them.

There is a dire moment as Zariya promises to hand them over to Caine for punishment, Rory wants to sell them into slavery to make money. Breyd wants to hang them. Scher wants to bite their necks. And Laszlo,.. Well Laszlo has no idea why no one is not making a fuss over such a handsome devil like himself.

George Stobby and Tobey the Black Wolf come in and say,"Why is a Canaanite witch here is Outer Trinity?" Following him is a bunch of BWG that Reinhard sicked on him for annoying Prince Wolfie.

The Amberites are caught and led away to petfarms and bad girls clubs and the nice Family is given homes in Haven.

Tobey the Black wolf complains,"Those cheap Haven Bastards never gave me a taco."

In Amber Castle, a rumbling voice is heard,"I want my Moneeeeey..."

This text is copyright © Craig Lucas; "Amber" is copyright © Roger Zelazny; "Amber" the diceless RPG is copyright © Phage Press. No copyright infringement is intended.

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