Scowling, Benedict yanked open the door. He was tired, and his foot hurt. His head was starting to ache from the collective stresses on it. And behind his door was one of his siblings he didn't think he could deal with right now: Caine. He scowled even more, thinking to himself, Well, at least it wasn't Eric…
Caine was dressed immaculately in his favorite style of clothing, with a thin goatee, and tanned skin. He nodded, "Benedict."
"Caine," Benedict replied, letting the iciness he felt creep into his voice. He was good and pissed at Caine for his disregard for people's lives. Still, much as Ben wanted to, he couldn't say one word about it. Ben had done much worse himself in his day, and was stuck in an uncomfortable position.
"Hmm. Now that is an unfriendly tone…as I'd feared. May I come in?" Something about Caine's nonchalance really irked Ben, but Benedict forced his voice to level off.
"No," he replied, smooth and steadily. "What do you need?" And don't let this take long, Caine, I've things to do, he added silently.
"Honestly? I need a few gallons of alcohol to mute out the last couple hours. However, I'd like to talk to you...straighten some things out. And I'd rather not do it outside your doorway."
Benedict rubbed his jaw, feeling the bristles there since he hadn't shaved since early, early this morning, seeming to consider. "What's it about?" He was brooding, sure, but Ben couldn't help feeling defensive. He berated himself mentally for not opening up more, and simply letting Caine come in and talk. With all that had happened, he was starting to get paranoid.
"The past four weeks."
Benedict considered. This might actually be important….might be something Dad or Dworkin had said in the prior weeks… He harrumphed after a few moments, and left the doorway muttering, "Fine." Ben found a seat in an overstuffed chair, leaving Caine to find his own seating. Whatever it was, Ben was still in no mood to be gentile.
Caine entered, shutting the door behind him. "So, is everyone as mad at me as you are, or did I do something in particular to you?"
"Probably not," Benedict said after a moment.
"Hard to draw a meaning when it is an either or question asked, brother, and you respond with a singular…ack, sorry. I just had four weeks of doctorate level English crammed into my head. Probably not what?"
Benedict resisted the urge to roll his eyes, "As angry with you as I."
"Ah. Good. Looks like I chose the right first person to talk to after 'The Empress'."
Something in that made Ben's hackles rise again. "Speak your piece and leave. I'm kind of busy." He gestured absently to the now invisible drawings in the air, wondering if Caine could sense such things.
"Um…actually, it'd be easier if I showed you. Pick a relative."
Benedict considered, "Julian."
"Hey, he's one of my favorites. Kay." As Caine talked, his voiced changed…as did his features, and his very clothing. By the end of the sentence, it was Julian's own twin standing there, dressed in Julian's traditional black and white garb. Benedict did roll his eyes then, thinking, Well, if you can change other people, it only stands that you can change yourself. What does he think I am? An idiot? He felt his defenses…and offenses…rising to maximum alert, and he leaned forward slightly.
"I...haven't....been in....Amber....for the....past four....weeks." With a quick shrug, skin and cloth flowed, returning again to the form of Caine. "I love my brother dearly...I just hate having to use his vocal cords. So...as I said, I've been gone for the past four weeks. And my traditional replacement had gone rogue on me, to put it mildly. Been spreading all sorts of chaos, or so it now seems, if you're this hostile towards me. Unless your personality has changed much in the past year, that is."
Benedict was silent for a long, long while, thinking. He really does think I'm slow, or stupid, or something. Either that, or this isn't Caine. Even if he is Caine, can I trust him? A few more moments ticked by, and Ben admitted to himself, Would I even want to? Carefully, he constructed his reply.
Finally, he stirred, leaning forward slightly, "So, what you're telling me is that you decided to bypass a Royal summons from Dad, missing your sister's memorial, and can't even control the people you send in your place?"
Caine at least had the good grace to look taken aback, "My...your tongue has grown harsh in the past year indeed. No. What I'm telling you is that I have been gone for the past four weeks...on business of Father's in fact, which you might be aware of if you actually spent any time around here any more. The double exists for those who know not of my...abilities...and so I don't get behind in my studies. As for the loss of control, that I'm not at liberty to discuss with you."
Ben was quiet for another long while, sitting back in the chair and frowning as he listened. He wasn't sure how to take this, or how to respond to it The thought of this almost scared him, but with what he had learned about Oberon in the last couple days, did it really surprise him that at least one-if not more-of Oberon's kids was taking after the old man? No, it didn't.
Caine must not have been able to handle Ben's silence, as he blurted out, "I came here to apologize for whatever my double has done...I'm still processing it all, soaking it in...but there was some pretty strong feelings, so I came to you first...but if this is the kind of treatment I can expect from you, I suddenly no longer regret not spending my youth with you like Gerard and Flora did."
Benedict's jaw clenched at the last bit, and he stood quickly. A vision of Gerard standing by that altar flashed before his eyes momentarily. "I'm glad you're ok….it's not too late then…." He took in a deep breath before answering, "The last thing I need from you, brother..." he said quietly, scowling, "...is any more guilt heaped upon my shoulders concerning Gerard. You can take your leave now."
"What are you talking about?" Now Caine looked surprised.
Still scowling, Benedict said slowly, "You should know what I mean; I had explained that with Gerard earlier today, and don't care to revisit the tale."
"I've been here for a lil less than two hours Ben...I came to you 'cause I expected you to be helpful, and to know what is going on...and now you're upset with me and shutting me out? And about my own brother?!?"
The scowl softened into a frown, "Less than two hours?" He brooded quietly for a bit, "Then you must have made a decent double of yourself, as it's gone around making doubles of itself."
"Yes. I just got back from shadow."
Ben reseated himself, a touch calmer, but still wary.
Caine went on to say, "Yes...I've heard about that...he was a Gamellonian before the illness struck him, and Dworkin showed me how I could turn him into a copy of myself to keep him alive...he's been my double since before I walked the Pattern.
"He just went rogue sometime during the past few weeks."
After several minutes of silence, Ben spoke slowly and softly, "Gerard is insane." He started that painful story again, keeping it to the bare minimum, as he did when he recanted the tale after lunch. Those wounds were still too fresh, too deep. Caine seemed to take it stoically, though with a bit of a surprise. Still, he wasn't overly worried…not as much as Ben was, but worried nonetheless.
"Ah. So that explains it all. I had wondered why he was so much taller..."
Ben frowned, "You've seen him, recently?"
"Mm. That's why I scrubbed my mission to come back...he said something was up in Amber, but he wouldn't tell me what. I thought you had more recent information than I did."
Benedict snorted a bit, "You have bothered to find out what's going on, haven't you? Surely, I can't be your very first stop."
"I came back...tracked down my double. We mixed and molded, so I could learn all he'd done since I left...but it takes time to soak in four weeks of memories, and I've only been out of the mix for about thirty minutes. I went to 'The Empress' first, but she was very unhelpful...seemed afraid of me. So I came to you. And here I am." Again, that sarcastic tone when he mentioned Llewella. It angered Ben, but he kept that feeling in check now, instead of giving it free reign.
"You can't blame her," he said shortly, "I don't trust you. I'll admit that freely now."
"You don't what?"
Benedict couldn't resist. "Trust you?" he said, mildly sarcastic. "You know, that word… 'trust'?" He paused, damning himself for not keeping control of his tongue. Still, that wasn't too bad of a slip, and he hastened to amend as Caine asked, "Why the Unicorn not?"
"Caine, think about it. You were never stupid....you've admitted--several times now--to having duplicates. And one of them rogue. If I were that rogue, I'd spread this story about too."
"Lovely Benedict...just the loving attitude I should have expected from you. Fine then, we'll play your game...what do I need to do, to 'earn' your 'trust' again, brother."
Benedict shook his head, thinking, I have just made a very bad mistake…this really is Caine… The surprise of Gerard's condition, coupled with the sarcastic attitude was unlike the 'Caine' at breakfast. Just the personality differences convinced him, and…it was just the way Benedict's luck was going that he'd been way too short tempered with his real brother. He said tiredly, referring to himself and the years to come with Caine, "Trust comes with time. Lost in a moment, taking years to replace." He shrugged his thin shoulders, wondering how long it was going to be until Caine decided to confide in him again. Probably never.
"Fine. Whatever. Good to know you're always there in the pinch brother. Till we meet again." Caine turned sharply on his heel to leave. Yup, just my luck, Benedict thought absently.
He nodded, trying to be somewhat amiable, though it was much too late to fix his error, "On the morrow, I'd expect. If you decide to stay, have breakfast maybe." He shrugged again, standing to walk Caine to the door.
"If I what?" At that, Caine turned around at the door, whirling to face Ben.
"Listen...this is far more my home now than yours.
"You're the one who has walked out on us to live your lives out there time and time again. If anyone should be having issues of trust, it's me. To come back, and find dad and gramps gone, and the stranger and the eldest running the place. Hell, where is the staff even? Or did you not trust them either?"
Ben's jaw clenched and his heart stopped. Don't, he said to himself, You deserved that, at the very least. He reached past Caine slowly, and opened the door for his younger brother. He said in a very controlled voice, "Have a good night."
"Lovely...absolutely lovely...my brother driven insane....my father gone....this is too much to handle." Caine stormed out, not acknowledging Benedict in the slightest.
Benedict watched his younger brother retreat down the hallway. Only when Caine was out of sight did he close the door. He muttered to himself, "Tell me about it." All of this way too much for any one person to handle, not for a lack of trying.
Maybe that's our problem, he thought as he reseated himself on the floor. We're all trying to handle this alone, separately. We're not talking to each other-at least from what I can see-and we're not working together, not in the slightest. He willed the runes visible again, but left the spell like that, too distraught to focus properly. What Caine had said really hurt, but only because it was true. He did abandon his family, time and again. He held himself apart from everyone, except in the most superficial of friendships…except for Deirdre, and Flora, maybe. How much worse could it be for Llewella, who had been separated from the family because of her duty to Rebma? Or for Bleys, who'd been rejected by nearly everyone as a youth? Or any of the rest of them? How would he know what each of his siblings were feeling, were thinking, unless he asked?
He chewed on these thoughts for a long while, not sure on how to fix things. He wasn't a people person. He didn't interact well with them unless a clear line of authority was established. When had he become that way? He couldn't remember anymore, sometimes it seemed like yesterday, and sometimes it seemed ages ago. These thoughts, so disturbing to him, were shoved away as duty reinserted itself. He had to finish the spell, then get to bed, and mayhaps get some rest for once.
He did so, falling into bed after peeling off his clothes and depositing them on the floor. This was going to be a bad night for dreams.