Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
Hope that it is not your sole purpose in life to simply serve as a warning to others.
If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent.
The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.
Men who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants!
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow?
Only to be troubled and insecure?
Is there another word for synonym?
Some people say that I'm superficial, but that's just on the surface.
On one hand, I'm indecisive; but on the other, I'm not.
If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.
The world's full of apathy, but I don't care.
Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.
Prejudiced people are all alike.
What is the probability that something will happen according to the odds?
Exaggeration is not all it's cracked up to be.
I'm still not sure if I understand ambiguity.
Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness.
There's no such thing as nonexistance.
Cooperation can only be reached if we work together.
He doesn't have much of a reputation, or so I've heard.
One should never generalize.
I have a twin brother; he's identical, but I'm not.
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
If we do not succeed, we run the risk of failure.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous!
Rehab is for quitters!
The shortest distance between two points is how far apart they are.
Don't be redundant by repeating yourself.
Grammar has gots to be one of the most importantest things ever?
My identity lies in not knowing who I am.
I am becoming increasingly worried that there isn't enough anxiety in my life.
I keep telling myself that I am a pathological liar, but I am not sure if I believe it.
Not only am I redundant & superfluous, but I also tend to use more words than necessary.
There are only three kinds of people; people who can count and people who can't.
Reality is a big, nasty, vicious dragon, but I don't believe in dragons.
Isn't is it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
Clones are people, two.
Ground Beef: A Cow With No Legs.
186,000 miles/sec: Not just a good idea, it's the LAW!
A mouse is just an elephant built by the Japanese.
A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
I don't have anything but I'll give you half.
One good turn ..... Gets most of the blankets.
Editing is a rewording activity.
My reality check just bounced.
Rap is to music what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.
No sense being pessimistic, it probably wouldn't work anyway.
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
Hard work will pay off later. Laziness pays off now!
If only women came with pull-down menus and on-line help.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Four out of five people think the fifth is an idiot.
Is reading in the toilet considered Multi-Tasking?
It's lonely at the top but you eat better.
A thing not worth doing isn't worth doing well.
Digital circuits are made from analog parts.
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
A company is judged by the president it keeps.
The faulty interface lies between the chair and the keyboard.
I'm a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I'll forget.
What's another word for thesaurus?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?
Are they afraid someone will clean them?
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Why is the word abbreviation so long?
If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
Example of mixed emotions:
When your mother-in-law drives your new cadillac over a cliff.
How do you know if it tastes like chicken if you can't compare chicken to anything?
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Please raise my hand.
If all the world is a stage, where does the audience sit?
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
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