Heartbeats
~~~~~~~~~

Face to face
We forget, time and place
Hold me now
Don't let go
Though it hurts and we both know
The time we spend together's gonna fly
And everything you do to me
Is gonna feel so right
Baby when you're loving me
I feel like I could cry
'Cause there's nothing I can do
To keep from loving you
~Gloria Estefan "Here We Are"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are you ready?"

Those are the only words you say to me. I want to laugh--five years your senior and I'm the one trembling with fear about what is about to happen. You're only nineteen, and yet you're already the picture of a powerful Jedi. Taller than Obi-Wan, taller than Qui-Gon would be if he were here to see you--

No, tonight is not a night for sad thoughts. Tonight has been so long in coming, nothing will ruin the perfection of it. Nothing could ruin it--I've been waiting for it for four years now, since I knew that you were the only one I could love.

"Yes." It's all I need to say, all the response you need. We stand as one--we are one--and proceed to the middle of the dance floor. It's Naboo custom for the newly weds to lead the first dance. If I were anyone but the Queen, we could have snuck away by now--we could be wrapped together celebrating this night the way it should be.

But I am the Queen, and you are now my Consort. Everyone who is anyone is here now, watching us as we stand, face to face, waiting for the music to start. Out of the corner of my eye I can see my handmaidens following tradition--picking men from the audience to accompany them as they follow me in the dance. I smile, knowing that there is only one place where they can't follow me--where they won't follow me . . .

We're not there quite yet, my love. Soon. Never soon enough--but soon nonetheless. First we must obey custom--only then can we obey our hearts.

Sache has drawn Obi-Wan to the floor. I wonder if she'll act on her desires tonight. It is a night for such things--love is in the air around us. We put it there, my love. You and I--we made this place light up with the heat of passion--the strength of our desire, and the depth of our devotion.

As your hands come up to hold me, to lead me in the gentle steps of the Traditional First Dance, I can see the nervousness in your eyes. Sabe and Yane coached you endlessly in the steps, but you were still convinced you'd never be able to do it. Tradition holds that you can't share this dance with me until we have been bonded, so you practiced with my handmaidens, and I'm sure I didn't help your confidence, sitting by and giggling--but I have been trained in this complicated dance since I was old enough to walk. To me it is second nature, but to you it is awkward and frightening.

So I smile up into those endless blue eyes, see your nervousness melt away. No ice cold tendril of fear has a chance of surviving the blazing fire that surges between us. At first I was afraid of being singed, but your love burns with a gentle passion, a controlled passion. I'm safe with you, my love. Safe.

Your hands are starting to become more possessive around my waist, and I have to warn you with my eyes. We still have several dances to suffer through before we can retire gracefully--and if you continue to touch me the way you are now I will lose my hard-won poise. It is so hard, being clasped between the heat of your hands. Hard to concentrate on the here and now.

You must have heard that thought, because you smile. I've heard Obi-Wan say that to you a thousand times, heard him say it to himself. Here and now, here and now. How can you concentrate on the here and now when the very near future holds the moment you've been waiting for, yearning for for so long?

You smile wider, and I try not to disgrace my court by laughing. Oh, Ani--it doesn't mater what life brings us, it can't be bad if we have each other. Life will go too quickly, that's my only fear. I won't have enough time to appreciate how much you mean to me. How you can make me laugh with a quirk of your mouth, how you can steal my breath when you look at me with desire.

All my life, I've fought my destiny. What happiness has it ever brought me? I was a Queen before I was a woman, a ruler of people before I knew what it was to truly live. I hated my destiny, wished that I could have been someone else. Someone with the power, without the responsibility.

But you're my destiny too, Anakin. And I run to you. You're the first thing that's happened to me that I knew was right. I can hardly wait until you really happen to me . . .

Ahh, you picked up that thought too. I can see it in the glint of your eyes--it's a good thing that tradition states you pass me over to your father for the next dance, or I'd be tempted to do something that would really shock everyone here.

The dance is coming to an end now, and you are leading me over to Obi-Wan, who is to be your father for the evening. I suppose he is, in a way--as much as anyone ever will be. Oh, but the look in your eyes--what promises, my love. Promises for the night to come. Do you really think you can live up to them?

"I can," you whisper in my ear, and are gone as Obi-Wan twirls me out onto the floor.

Can you?