I. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Waynes World version. Whenever you rent or buy a book, you need to be sure that the story you choose is suitable for the audience at home. To help you certificates are not given, which don't tell you what the film is like. This story has been classified 18, which means it is unsuitable for anyone with a lower IQ rating than that. 18 stories may contain long words, like Mechanically, or vibraphonist, and may contain strong scene's of rape, bondage, murder, or naked bodies. This story won't though. 18 stories may also contain some fairly strong language, like Cheesy or bum, but they will not contain very strong words like wank, fuck or shit. Remember, story certificates aren't there to help you. They don't allow you to have piece of mind, or any other Iron Maiden album. Thanks for reading (or if you've just skipped here from the top, fuck off) and enjoy the story. Disclaimer: Hello again. Please remember, no copyright violation is meant by this story, and if any one is offended, fuck you. Go and read something else. This story is a mickey take of Waynes World, Bill and Ted's Excellent Journey (yes, I know! It's a mix of both films!), Beavis and Butthead, and Power Rangers. None of the characters are my own, so there. Not to be read out loud in Ozzie land or New Zealand, because we're bastards! {Story starts (at last) } Scene 1: The Angel Grove Music and Donut Take Away (This is the new bar, in the same location of the Gym and Juice Bar!). Beavis and Butthead are serving behind the counter, frying mice and flies, Bill and Ted are playing a gig on the main floor. Bill: Hello! I am Bill S Preston, Esq! Ted: And I'm Ted Theodore Logan. Bill and Ted: And together, we're WYLD STALLIONS! Beavis: Hu hu hu hu Cool! Butthead: So Mr. Customer. Do you want your flies to go? Hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu? Beavis: That's cool! Hu hu hu hu! [Wayne and Garth enter.] Wayne: Hello Reader. Let me bring you up on speed. My name is Wayne Campbell, and this is by best friend Garth Algar. Garth: Er...er...er....hi. Wayne: We live in Angel Grove, which is a suburb of San Dimas. Excellent. I admit I still live with my parents, which is both bogus, and sad, but at least I'm a famous superhero, who has saved the world many times over. But if only, just once, I could tell people who I really was. If I could hold my head up and cry out "Hey! I'm a Power Ranger!" It might happen! Sheer Right! And monkey's might fly out of my butt! Beavis: Hu hu hu hu! He said butt! huhuhuhu! Garth: You know Wayne, I think, from the way things have turned out before, that your wish might come true before the end of this story! Bill: EXCELLENT! [Bill and Ted do one of their guitar movements! Bulk and Skull walk in. Bulk walks over to Bill and Ted and grabs Ted's guitar.] Bulk: I can play this better than you. Skull: yeah. He can. Bulk: Just watch. [Bulk plucks the guitar, which breaks the G-string...] Butthead: Hu hu hu! You said G-String Mr. Author. Mr. Author: Shut up! [...as I was saying. The G stri...One of the strings snaps, which hit's Skull, who falls over, pulling Bulk over too, and they fall into a vat of Peanut Butter, which just happened to be there. Bulk is lying, with his hairy arse showing.] Beavis: Hey Butthead! Look. Look at the hair on that ass! Butthead: Yeah! Cool. Hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu Scene 2: Rita's Palace (Boo Hiss!) Rita: So, the Power Rangers are interested in hairy butts eh? Finster! Make me a Hairy Butt Monster. Finster: It just so happens, I have one in the oven right now. He should be ready with in the hour, my cheesy one. Goldar: With the Hairy Butt Monster we can destroy the Power Rangers once and for all! [Scene cut's back to the Music and Donut Take Away.] Wayne: This is the Music and Donut Take Away. Always a babe fest. This is Ernie, the manager. He's here twenty four hours a day. Ernie: Why is it, if you kill a man in the heat of war, your called a hero. But kill a man in the heat of passion, and your called a murderer? Wayne: Hello? Only me and Garth get to talk to the readers. Butthead: Hu hu hu! You said Cheesy! Hu hu huhuhuhuhuhuh! Wayne: No I didn't! Beavis: Hu hu hu hu! April Fools! Hu hu hu hu hu hu hu! Bill: Hey Ted, help me carry this really heavy equipment over to our van, which is parked outside, where we will be away from help should the Putties attack. Ted: Sure. [Bill and Ted start to load their equipment into the van. Suddenly, loads of Putties appear.] Bill: Oh no! Ted: Let's take them! [Bill and Ted start to fight. The silly song starts too.] Song: Co co co co co combat! You can run but you can't hiiiiiiiiiIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIde! You can try to be asleep though, because we won't Disturb yououououououOUOUOUOUOUOUouououououou! Co co co co combat.... Bill: These lyrics are like totally excellent! Ted: Do you think we should try to get the copyright to them to use in our next gig? Bill: Well, maybe if we had a gig, we could get some songs. Ted: But if we had some songs, we could get a gig. Bill: I think we should just stick to kicking the crap out of these putties. Ted: EXCELLENT! [Bill and Ted do their Air Guitar movement again, before attacking the putties. A few mins later, and they all vanish (The Putties, not Bill and Ted.) Bill and Ted do the air guitar once more, before running in to tell the others. Scene cut's to Rita's Palace.] Goldar: With the Power Rangers power down from that last battle, I think now would be a great time to release the monster. Rita: Yes go my Hairy Butt Monster. [Scene cut's back to the Music and Donut Take Away. All 6 Power Rangers beam up out of sight of everyone.] Scene 3: The Rangers Command Center. Zordon: Power Rangers. Rita has released another monster. Wayne: Well of course. It wouldn't be much of a story else. Zordon: Observe the viewing butt. Beavis: Hu hu hu hu hu! He said Butt! Zordon: Globe. I meant Globe. Garth: How can you get that wrong? You say it every episode. Zordon: I know. Alpha: Aye aye aye aye AYE! He's going senile! Zordon: Don't be stupid Susan. Wayne: Hey! Time out! Take a pill! What's the matter here? Hello? Alpha: It would appear that Rita has released another monster. Butthead: Hu hu hu hu hu! You already said that! That's cool. Hu hu huhuhuhuhuhu. Beavis: Talk about stalling for time! Zordon: [Singing] I'm a little teapot, short and stout! Here's my handle, here's my spout.... Alpha: Oh no! It's aye aye aye aye aye accelerating! We need to do something. Wayne: What can we do? Alpha: Destroy the monster! Wayne: It's Morphing Time! Wayne: Asphinctersayswhat! Garth: Er er..er...er...er...WAYYYNE! errrrrr! Beavis: Hu hu huhuhuhu BUM! hu hu hu! Butthead: Hu hu hu! That's cool. You said like Bum man! Hu hu hu hu! Bill: I'm Bill S Preston! Ted: And I'm Ted Logan! All: And together we're WYLD POWER RANGERS! Scene 4: The Park. Rita's Hairy Butt Monster is here. The Rangers run up to it. Garth: Wow! That's like really bad. Wayne: Chill! Beavis: Hu hu huhuhuhuhuhu look at that hairy butt. Butthead: Huhuhuhuhuh that's cool. Ted: Bill my friend. Bill: Yes Ted my friend? Ted: I think it's time we showed this guy where to go. Bill: EXCELLENT! [Bill and Ted do their Air Guitars AGAIN!, then race to attack it.] Hairy Butt Monster: Oh! The Power Rangers. What fun! Hu hu hu hu hu! Beavis: He sounds like you Butthead! Butthead: Shut up Beavis! Michael Caine: Not a lot of people know that! [We apologize for that Michael Caine outburst. The Author responsible has now been sacked. Sorry if this has interrupted your reading. Bye.] Butthead: Zulu's! Fosands of them! Wait till you see the whites of their eyes! [We apologize again. The person responsible for sacking the person responsible has been sacked.] John Cleese: That's our Joke! [We apologize once more. Please feel free to skip the rest of these interruptions. We shall continue on page 165, paragraph 8, subsection B. Thank you.] [Anyway, So all the rangers have started to deck out the Hairy Butt Monster, but Rita has made it grow.] Wayne: We need Dino Power....NOT! Garth: Tee Hee! Bill: No Way! Wayne: Way! Bill: And monkey's might fly out my butt! Beavis: Hu hu hu! he said.... [The Author has temporarily removed Beavis and Butthead from the script. They shall be reinserted when needed.] Garth: That's good. Now we can say butt. Author: Hu hu hu... [Sorry. The person respon..etc etc etc. It won't happen EVER again. Promise. Cross my heart and hope to die. Stick a needle in my eye and all that shit.] Garth: Wayne, I think I'm gonna Hurl! Wayne: No Garth! Not with your helmet on! Garth: Uuurrrrr! WAYYYNE! [HURL! HURL!] Wayne: Nice Hurl effects Mr. Author. [Garth's magic Power Ranger suit cleans up the hurl, so we can continue with the story.] Wayne: We need Sphincter Power! [Nice long scene with the sphincter's rising from their hiding places, and coming out to play. Meanwhile, the Hairy Butt Monster has destroyed two building, and crushed three people. The Sphincter's arrive, and the Rangers jump in. (Please Note: Beavis and Butthead have now been inserted.)] Wayne: Ok. Power up your coins. Garth: Sphincter ready. Bill: EXCELLENT! Ted: Woah! Look at this! Beavis: Hu hu hu hu. He didn't say Cheesy Bum Wipes! Butthead: Shut up Beavis. [The Rangers appear in the cockpit, together. Wayne is driving. He removes his power tape, and get's ready to put it in the slot.] Wayne: I think we'll go with a little Bumhemion Rhapsodomy Gentlemen! Garth: Good Call! Tape: Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy. Caught with my pants down, no escape to reality. Open your thighs. Look down from the skies it's free! it's freeeeeee! etc etc etc etc etc etc. [It get's to the headbanging bit. MegaSphincter stops attacking, and bangs his head. Hairy Butt Monster take the opportunity and attacks, knocking the Rangers from their seats. Bill now has control.] Bill: Hey Ted! I got control! Ted: Excellent! [MegaSphincter plays the air guitar!] Wayne: We need the power sword! All together: Lock on and Fire! [Megasphincter fires on Hairy Butt Monster, blowing him up. Megasphincter walks over to the dead monster, and peace of dribble emerges from his lips.] Bill: Yeah! I totally spat on that Hairy Butt Monster! Beavis: Hu hu hu He said Butt. Rita: Bah! Humbug! Scene 5: The place where it all started. Ernie: Beavis, Butthead. I want a word with you. I left you two in charge, and you left the place unattended. As a result I got robbed, and I'm forced to go out of business. I'm firing the two of you. Butthead: Hu hu huhuhuhu! We're like Fired. Cool eh? Beavis: Shut the fuck up will you? Garth: Well Wayne, it seemed that you were wrong. You didn't have to tell anyone your secret about being a Power Ranger. 1st Girl close by: What was that? 2nd Girl close by: Did someone mention Power Rangers. 3rd Girl close By: I'd love to make love with a Power Ranger. Wayne: I AM A POWER RANGER! Beavis and Butthead: Hu hu huhuhuhuhuhu! That's cool! Michael Caine: Th..th..th..th..th..th..th..th..that's all folks! The End! First Published in 1996 (c) 1996 Captain Stable Captain_stable@Hotmail.com