…Sauntering from the pages of JSTF…
Nope, Franklin M. Richards and Paper Bag Boy
…in their own miniseries…
Comics, Catastrophe and Criminals
Or, A Hundred and One Reasons Why Comics Can Be Bad For Your Health...
Chapter 1: Opening moves
posted by NopeThe ICBS
"Quiet," whispered Emerald Void to Impulse.
"Sorry," whispered Impulse back. "Errr… why are we sneaking around in our own comic shop?"
"We don't want them to know we're going out for the day," whispered Buried. "They'll only want to come along."
"Why would they want to come to a sales meeting, anyway?"
"Firstly," whispered Buried, "it's the largest convention of comic book sellers ever; all the greatest people will be there, including the directors and presidents of every major comic company and all the small ones as well."
"And secondly," put in EV, lowering his voice even further, "they're serving free food and drinks all day."
"Free food?" said Impulse at normal conversation levels.
"D'oh!" cursed Buried and EV simultaneously.
"Hey," said Tenzel Kim appearing as if by magic. "Did someone mention free food?"
"And drinks," added the Hawaiian Puncher wondering out from the back of the shop.
"FREE food and drinks," echoed Yippy. "Cool!"
"Did someone mention free food and drinks?" asked Mr. Excitement. "When are we going?"
"All right," sighed Buried, "the rest of you can come out as well."
Soon, all the JSTF were present, except Franklin and PBB who were still upstairs in Cyber Cafe playing video games, and Nope.
"Well, at least some of them missed--" began Impulse.
The front door bell jangled as Nope wondered in.
"Hey! How did you hear about the free food?" demanded Impulse.
"Free food? Who mentioned free food?" asked Nope. "I just came in to see if-"
"Come on," interrupted EV. "if we're going to go, we have to leave now."
"Okay, we'll take the air transport," said $ugar Daddy.
"I'll pilot," put in Buried.
"Whatever," put in Nope. "Look, I was just wondering if the latest issue of-"
"If we all go out, who'll cover the store?" asked the Question.(?)
"We'll look after the store," said Franklin and PBB, appearing as if by magic.
"Not googing likely," said Impulse.
"Awwwwwwwwwwwww," said Franklin and PBB together, doing their best to look as cute and innocent as possible and failing miserably.
"Erm, excuse me?" said Nope. "I was just wondering if--"
"Hey," said the Masochist. "Nope can look after the store."
"What, mister 'if I was the only person on the planet I'd still somehow stumble into trouble'?" asked EV.
"Well, someone's got to do it," pointed out Buried. "Hurry up, we have to go."
"Alright, already," said Impulse. "You three can look after the store till we get back. Just don't touch anything. You know," he added, "I have a real bad feeling about this."
"Oh, come on," said EV, "We'll only be gone for a day. What can possibly go wrong?"
"Oh, and we're getting some preview issues delivered this morning," said Impulse as the JSTF hurried out of the door. "Just stack them with the rest. Took good care of the store, Nope."
"But all I wanted to know was if the latest issue of--" wailed Nope. The closing door cut off the rest of his sentence. "How the goog do I get myself into these things?" he muttered.
"Hey, is that the delivery warning?" asked Franklin.
"New preview comics," said PBB. "Way coool!"
"New previews eh?" asked Nope. "This might be more interesting than I thought…"
* * *
Meanwhile, in some secret underground headquarters…
"Want comics! I wanna read my comics. Get me my comics! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!" The bawling child threw himself onto the floor and started waving his fists and kicking while doing his best impression of an air raid siren.
"Let me shoot him, boss," said the tall, stupid looking goon who was called Ernie. "Just one shot. Blam! Right in the smacker."
"Or we could glue a rat in an open jar to his head," said the short, thin, smarmy looking goon who was called Eric, "and then heat the other end so the rat has to eat its way out through the kids face. I got that one from a cartoon," he added. "The things they let kids watch these days."
"We can't kill 'im," said the third goon who was wearing a suit and went by the name of Baxter, for no reason what so ever. "He's the guv'nors kid. We gotta watch 'im while the big Chief an' de others work on their Big Plan." You could hear the capitals when he talked.
"Well, we have to do something, boss," said Ernie. "He's driving me nuts; let's murderise him and say it was an accident."
"Yeah. We could push him down the stairs and say he tripped and, if it didn't kill him, we could break his neck anyway," said Eric, rubbing his hands together in a way that made you wish he wouldn't.
"Or," said Baxter, "we could get 'im some comix and then, a , he would shut up and, secondly, the guv'nor might let us join in on the Big Plan."
"But," said Ernie, scratching his head, "where do we get these comics from?"
Back in the ICBS…
"Tales of the Farthing Four," read Nope from the cover. "Sovereign Seven at a lower price, I see."
"You do realize that that joke went over the head of anyone not familiar with the Imperial monetary system, don't you?"
"Doesn't matter really," said Nope. "I was just filling in to make this section a bit longer, since the only important bit is when PBB says--"
"Hey," interrupted PBB, "shouldn't some one be minding the store?"
"Well…" began Nope.
"Wow!" interrupted Franklin. "Look at this! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles meet Scud, the disposable assassin onboard the USS Enterprise. Cool!"
"…I'm sure another couple of minutes won't hurt us."
Chapter 2: Little Timmy Walker
posted by FranklinStill at The ICBS
"Oh, c'mon! This is rediculous! Scud, TMNT, and Captain Kirk. don't mix!" blurted out Franklin.
"I know! I'm a fan myself of Scud and all, but this sucks! Let's go back upstairs." said PBB.
"No, guys. Don't you want to get respect from your fellow teammates? We have to take care of this store. Don't you want to?"
They both replied, "Nope! < sniker >..."
Franklin changed the subject, while walking upstairs. "Remember when I changed to Janet Reno?"
"Sure do! That was cooler than Mr. Freeze! Damn, now I'm doing one-liners like in Batman & Robin, a "fine" movie I might add!"
Nope sat down at the counter waiting for a customer. Little Timmy Walker walked in the ICBS. "Hello, little fellow. What can I get you?" Nope asked him.
"Um...um... do you hav', JLA #1?"
Timmy questioned.
"I'm sorry, buddy. But JLA #1 sold out a long time ago. We do have JLA #13 still."
"But my Mommy said 'Timmy, you can get JLA #1',"
"Well, Timmy, we're all out. I may be able to find an expensive copy in the back, though!"
"But I want it now!" A tear droped from his eye. Timmy Walker ran out the door, across the street. Three minutes later, Timmy's obese mother came through the door.
"I told my Timmy he can have that comic book at a cheap price. How dare you even raise a hand at my child!" she screamed at a high-pitched voice. Franklin and PBB heard the whole conversation upstairs.
"Should we help the sucker?" asked PBB to Franklin.
"Nah. Let's see him suffer," said Franklin.
Downstairs...
Mrs. Walker started to hit Nope in the head with her purse. "You and your band of heroes, have just lost a customor! Have an awful day!"
Nope told the big boned lady, "But I didn't do any..." The slam of the door sounded out his call of innocence.
Franklin and Paper Bag Boy walked down the stairs, making golf claps. "Bravo, Bravo!"
Nope, slanted his eyes and had a mad look on his face. "If you laugh at me so much, then why don't you take the next customer?!"
PBB and Franklin looked at each other, smiled, and then said, "O.K.!"
Nope stood near by, as the next buyer walked in...
Chapter 3: Well in some words, oh sh—
posted by PBBYet Still at the ICBS
The next customers walked in. It was two thuggish looking guys holding a kid in between them. They turned to Frankie and Pbb.
" Ay do yous guys got any comics?" said Baxter who sounded like the Fonz from Happy Days.
" No we don't have any com...." said Pbb most sarcastically before Frankie elbowed him.
" Yes we do sir what comic are you looking for, we have a fine selection of DC, Marvel, Image, and plenty of independents." said Frankie in a very professional tone.
" Well..... WE WANT ANY COMIC THE BRAT WANTS NOW EMPTY OUT THE CASH REGISTER AND LET THE KID TAKE HIS F-----N' COMICS AND WE'LL BE GOING AND TRY ANYTHING SMART ASSED WE SHOOT THE KID!" screamed Baxter as he pulled out a gun and pointed it at the kid.
Pbb emptied out the cash register and the volt put all the cash in a bag handed it to Baxter. Frankie was trying to get Nope's attetion who was playing a video game upstairs and was listening to music.
The kid then started taking lots of comics. He ended up taking most of the comics there. Surprising how many comics a kid can carry! Then the kid and the two men ran outside into a car and pulled away, sounding much like when Homer does that on The Simpsons.
" Oh boy were screwed...." quickly said Frankie. Then Nope losing the game came down the stairs.
" Hey how was your customer.........oh my god what happen to the vault,the cash register, the comics!" gasped Nope almost fainting.
" Well in the words of me Oh sh--!" said Pbb after explaining what happened.
Chapter 4: “You let them rob the ICBS?!”
posted by SharpshooterNope grabbed PBB by the shoulders and began shaking him violently, "You let them rob the ICBS?!! How could you?! Impulse and Buried trusted us to take care of the store and you LET THOSE THUGS ROB US?!!".
"Well," PBB said meekly, "he had a gun.".
"Fer Chrissakes, you're supposed to be a superhero," complained Nope, "you're not supposed to cave at the first sight of a gun!".
Frankie and PBB stared at each other, "We're not?".
"Never mind," Nope said, strapping on his mysterious backpack, "they haven't been gone long so I'm going after them."
After a moment, Nope added dubiously, "You guys TRY to mind the store, OK?".
Nope went, muttering, "Impulse and Buried will never forgive us for this . . .".
Frankie and PBB watched Nope go.
Frankie turned to PBB, "Should we go back him up?".
PBB said, "Let's. Cash register duty is for the birds, anyway.".
*****************************************
Nope pursued the two thugs' car stealthily . . . using the anti-gravity unit built into the soles of his boots. The car came to a stop at a seedy building on the rougher side of J Street.
Nope saw Baxter get out of the car.
Nope got ready to make his move.
Chapter 5: The Comic Trail
posted by NopeWhile in the air...
Nope saw Baxter get out of the car.
Nope got ready to make his move.
Baxter turned and helped the boy out of the car.
Wow! thought Nope. They weren't kidding when they said the boy was carrying a lot of comics.
The second thug, Eric, got out of the car, carrying a bag of cash.
They knocked on the door. Ernie opened it. "Who goes there, friend or foe?"
"It's us ya big lummox," said Eric.
"Ya gotta say, friend or foe," insisted Ernie.
"Get outta de way, Ernie," said Baxter. "We got a car fulla stolen cash and hot comics to empty. See the pile de kid's got? Dat's only half of wot he picked up. It's like ants and little old ladies. 'e can carry seven times his own body weight in comics."
"Friend or foe?" insisted Ernie, "'cos if you's a foe, I get ta hit yer, blam, right in the kisser."
"Ernie," said Eric in a tone of voice which made you glad he was talking to someone else, "it's us. Eric and Baxter. Now, get out of the way before I rip your heart out of your chest and force feed it to you will it's still beating."
"Eric and Baxter? Why din't ya say so in the first place? You's can come in."
"Thank-you," said Baxter. "Oh and Ernie?"
"Yes?"
"YOU'RE A BRAINLESS NINNY," yelled Baxter, storming inside. "Now bring the rest of the comics in."
Nope grinned to himself. This is going to be easier than I thought. He dropped down to land next to Ernie.
"Mind if I go inside?" he asked.
Ernie scratched his head. "Is yer a friend or foe?"
"Friend," said Nope.
"Well, then's you can go in," said Ernie.
Moron, thought Nope. He headed for the door.
"Oh," sighed Ernie, "I wish a foe would come along. Then I could hit him, smack, blam, right in the kisser." He sighed again then went back to loading the last of the comics out of the car.
Meanwhile, around the back of the seedy building...
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" asked PBB.
"Sure, I'm sure," said Franklin. "I've seen this loads of times on Mission Impossible."
"Must be a good idea then," said PBB. "Even if the film didn't make any real sense, was badly plotted and was simply designed to allow the random juxtaposition of over-priced pyrotechnics with over-hyped stunts and over-paid actors." He blinked. "Hey! What made me say that?"
"Probably a random fluctuation in the space-time continuum," said Franklin. "See, look, it happened again. Anyhoo, you ready?"
"I was born ready," said PBB.
"What, you mean with your own diapers and everything?" asked Franklin.
"That could have been really funny," said PBB, "only it wasn't." He drew his sword. Franklin morphed his hands into huge blades in his best T-1000 impression yet.
"Nope's going to thank us for this later," said Franklin.
The two sneaked in the back door.
At that very moment...
"There's no point bringing them in here," said Nope to Ernie. "They're supposed to be in the car." He waved his gun in a menacing way at the other two in case they tried anything.
"But Baxter said to bring 'em in," said Ernie.
"Waaaaaaah," wailed the kid. "He's takin' my comics! I want me comics!! Wanna read comix!!! I wanna, I wanna, I wanna!!!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!"
"Does he ever shut up?" asked Nope.
"Nope," said Baxter and Eric together.
"You trying to be funny?" asked Nope, waving his gun in a menacing way. Well, a more menacing way than he had been before, anyway.
"Smack, blam, right in the kisser," said Ernie for no apparent reason.
"Ouch!" said Nope for an apparent reason: the kid had crawled over to him and was biting his leg. "Will you stop doing that you crazy little-"
A cry cut him off. "Franklin and Paper Bag Boy to the rescue!"
"I'm not going to like this, am I?" asked Nope.
"Nope," said Baxter and Eric together.
"Ha ha," said Nope.
Franklin and PBB burst into the room, caught sight of the gun, jumped to the wrong conclusion, and jumped Nope.
"I've got him," yelled Franklin.
"Bit nasty man take me comics," said the kid, biting Nope again.
"Grap his arms," yelled PBB.
"Guys? Erm, hey, guys?" said Nope.
"Ermm," said PBB, "was that who I thought it was?"
"I think so," said Franklin.
They exchanged a look.
"GET THE GOOG OFFA ME!" yelled Nope.
"Whoops!" The two moved off, helped Nope up and dusted him down.
"We did something stupid, didn't we?" asked PBB.
"Why is bad man bangin head against wall and swearing," asked the kid.
"Stress," said Franklin. "Does weird things to some people."
"I think we did something really stupid," said PBB.
"Well, let's see, shall we?" asked Nope. "You mean, apart from giving the enemy the advantage? Allowing them time to find their weapons will making me drop mine? Meaning that, even as I speak they're advancing on the three of us? Two of whom, I might add, should be covering the store?"
"Rub it in, why don't you?" said Franklin. "If it had all been left to you we'd have put Impulse out of business anyway," put in PBB.
"Yeah," said Franklin. "At least we tried."
"Shoot me now," suggested Nope. "It'll be easier in the long run."
"Glad to be of service," said Eric and Baxter. Ernie, who hadn't quite caught up with things, added "Smack, blam, right in the kisser," for sheer ambience.
"I know what you're thinking," said PBB, "but I'm not going to say 'Oh sh-'"
6: Interlude - Smorgasboard Heaven
posted by Mr. Excitement!Meanwhile, at the sales meeting...
"Damn, I got to hand to you, Impulse old buddy, taking the whole team to this big feast is your best idea yet!" Tenzil Kim exclaimed, polishing off a bagel platter.
"Gee...ummm...thanks, I guess." Impulse mumbled.
A short, robust, plump man in a chef's apron and hat walked into the confrence room.
"We will now be serving our buffet lunch in the dining ha-"
He was promptly trampled by the JSTF'ers, running with such incredible speed that he never knew what hit him. Ironicly, Buried and Impulse just sat there with their faces in their hands shaking their heads.
At the buffet, the JSTF couldn'y believe their eyes.
"Great googley-moogleys!" exclaimed the Hawaiian Puncher.
"I have found religion!" Mister Excitement! yelled happily.
Tenzil just made a sound like "aaaaaghghagahakoohaha"
However, others were a bit more active. "One side, old dude," said Yippy, knocking Stan Lee into a gigantic mound of raspberry Jell-oŽ. "I gots to get me some ham while the gettin's good!"
Yippy's act of bravery for the sake of gluttony inspired the other paralyzed members. They sprang into action. Within a matter of 3 minutes and 45.8394 seconds, the entire half-mile long buffet was picked clean of all food (with the exception of the Jell-oŽ that cuishoned Stan Lee's fall, however Hawaiian Puncher ate the part around his right shoulder).
"mmmmmph mmmph mmmmmmph mmmmmph mmmmph" expressed a particularly verbal Tenzil, "I wonder if Nope, Franklin, and PBB know what they're missing. But I bet they're having a great time right now anyways."
"They're probably bored out of their minds." remarked Mister Excitement!
"Naw," said Tenz, "Those three always find ways to keep themselves occupied."
Chapter 7: Middle of Story; End of Rope
posted by SharpshooterNope, PBB, and Frankie watched in helpless horror as Ernie and Baxter advanced on them sporting Toastmaster assault rifles. They had seen what these things could do to human flesh in the pages of SUPERMAN, and none of them being bulletproof or possessing Superspeed, didn't dare move a muscle.
I could be soaking up rays in Tahiti right now. I could be enjoying a nice, thick filet mignon in some nice uptown restaurant. I could be safe at home playing Quake. But noooooooooo! I'm here playing scout master to these kids and facing down mooks with Toastmasters! How do I get myself into these things?
"Um, Nope? Do you have a plan for getting out of this?" asked PBB tentatively.
Frankie said, "Yeah. You're the smart one. You're supposed to know what to do.".
Nope was at the end of his rope. Flipping out would've been a great option right about now . . . but Nope didn't have much experience in the matter.
Nope flashed his teammates a wicked grin, "Nope.".
Nope then noticed that Ernie and Baxter had stepped onto a rug. He had one chance . . .
Nope reached down to the rug quickly and yanked!
The rug slid away into Nope's grasp!
But Ernie and Baxter didn't fall.
The two thugs grinned viciously at the JSTFers . . . leveling their Toastmasters at the heroes.
"Oh, goog!" said Nope.
Ernie and Baxter let rip with one of the Toastmasters.
Frankie went into action. Taking his cue from the father of his namesake in the Marvel Universe, Frankie metamorphed into a giant rubbery baseball glove. He caught the enormous shell that erupted from the barrel of the Toastmaster . . . eliminating its momentum.
That gave Nope all the time in the world.
Nope reached into his backpack and pulled out a Batarang. He had taken this one from Batman-Dick Grayson when he dropped into Gotham City during the Prodigal storyline.
The Batarang took the Toastmasters out of Baxter and Ernie's hands.
"Bullseye!" exulted Nope.
Paper Bag Boy went into action. Thirty-seconds later, he had Ernie and Baxter pinned.
Nope dusted off his hands, "Good work, PBB. Looks like your week in Japan with Sharpshooter and Snow Sabre really paid off.".
Nope then turned his attention to the two pinned thugs, "Now, tell us why you heisted our funny books?".
"We ain't tellin' youse nuthin'!" said Baxter.
"Yeah. What he said." followed Ernie.
Nope said, "Too bad the Question (?) and $ugar Daddy aren't here. We could use their interrogative and suggestive powers here.".
Frankie said, "Lookit here, guys! I've got something that's pretty persuasive!".
Chapter 8: Blam?
posted by NopeNope said "Too bad the Question (?) and $ugar Daddy aren't here. We could use their interrogative and suggestive powers here."
Frankie said, "Lookit here, guys! I've got something that's pretty persuasive!"
"I could always hypnotise them myself," continued Nope, oblivious, "but I'll have a headache that'll last for hours."
"This'll really get them to talk," said Franklin. "Now, which one of these buttons is the trigger?"
"I suppose I could use--" Nope paused and ran Franklin's last couple of sentences through his head. "Did you just say 'which one is the trigger?"
Nope and PBB turned, saw the guns in Franklin's hands and ducked simultaneously.
"Want my comics!" wailed the boy who'd got bored with waiting for people to notice him. Franklin, startled, pulled the triggers of both Toastmasters.
BLAMMM!!!
"Holyfraggamoley," swore PBB as he saw that the recoil had knocked Franklin into the wall.
"Goddess!" swore Nope and shook his head, trying to stop his ears ringing.
"...eep..." said Baxter. Having been dropped by PBB he'd started to make his way to the door. The door wasn't there anymore.
Neither was much of the wall.
"...i'lltalki'lltalki'lltalki'lltalk..." said Eric.
"See," said Franklin, pulling himself out of the wall, "I said they were persuasive."
"I was intending to just hypnotise them," said Nope, "not BLOW THEM AWAY!"
"Sorry," said Franklin. "But I did miss."
"Why'd ya steal our comics?" asked PBB, waving his sword in Eric's face. It's quite hard not to be menacing when you're waving three foot of razor sharp steel half an inch from someone's eyeballs but PBB had been taught by Snow Sabre and he could wave a sword in a way that was very menacing indeed.
"...eep..." said Eric and fainted.
"What did you do to him?" gasped Baxter.
"Same thing I'll do to you if you don't talk," said PBB, thinking quickly. He casually swung his sword towards Baxter.
"Okay, we stole the comics to keep the kid happy," said Baxter.
"Want comix! WANT COMIX!" yelled the boy again. He bit Nope in the leg to prove his point.
"Right," said Nope. "That does it. Kid or no kid, you're going to spend the rest of the day thinking you're a frog."
"You better not hurt 'im," said Baxter. "That's the guv'nor's kid. We're looking after him while he finalises his Big Plan."
"His big plan?" asked Franklin.
"No," said Baxter, "his Big Plan!"
"Wow," said PBB. "You can actually hear the capitals. So, what is this Big Plan?"
"Can't tell ya," said Baxter.
"Or me," said Eric, looking shifty - both of which were great feats since he fainted some paragraphs back.
"Won't get me to tell ya he's gonna steal the J-Street Diamond," added Ernie. "Smack, blam, right in the kisser."
Baxter starting banging his head against the floor.
"The J-Street Diamond?!" chorused the three heroes.
"Never heard of it," added Nope.
Chapter 9: Home Alone
posted by Emerald VoidMeanwhile. back at the convention...
"I keep havin' this feeling that I'm forgetting something at home," said EV.
What?" asked Mr. Excitement.
"Oh my god, we forgot Kevin!"
"Um, EV, that was home alone."
"Oh yeah. Oh my god, we forgot Kevin, only this time it's in NY!"
"That was Home Alone 2." said Mr. EX tartly.
"Let me try again," said EV. "Oh my god, we left PBB and Franklin and Nope in charge of the store!"
"So?" asked Mr. EX.
"PBB and Franklin, and Mr 'even if I was the last man on earth I'd still find a way to get into trouble' Nope!" yelled EV, trying to set off internal alarm bells inside Mr. EX's head.
"Oh, yeah." said Mr. EX. With that, they both slapped their faces and yelled, "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
"Quick, get the others," said Impulse, who some how had heard their entire conversation.
"No time," said EV. "By now they're all a bunch of fat slugs gorged on protein.
***
"Man, I feel like a fat slug gorged on protein," said Yippy.
***
"Get in the transport!" yelled Impulse. The three JSTF'rs who didn't look like ticks about to pop boarded the transport and headed back to J street.
***
EV, Mr. Excitement and Impulse walked into the store.
"Correct me if I'm wrong," said EV, "but doesn't the fact that this is supposed to be a comic store imply that it is a store that sells comics?"
"Yeah," said Impulse.
"Then where the [place of the damned] are the comics?!!!!!!!" yelled an infuriated EV.
"Good question," said Mr. Ex.
"Quite" said Impulse.
Chapter 10: There's a jewelers on J Street?
posted by Franklin M. Richards"Could they be any dumber??!! I love this! Keep gettin' em' Baggy!" screamed Franklin.
"Good goog! Calm your hormones! Let PBB keep questioning them."
A sudden rush of toughness flew through the big body ofErnie. He got up and Smack, balmed, PBB right in the kisser! "HaHa! Told ya's alls I could do et'!"
"Hot damn! That's a lot of power! Yeah... well eat this!" Franklin said as he morphed to something so powerful, so unstopable... he morphed Ernie!
Ernie walked up to false Ernie. "Why, it's like starin' inta' a mirror?! This is spookin' me out. I needs to gets out a here!"
Franklin, or should I say False Ernie, answered Ernie's plea, by morphing one giant muscular arm and swinging Ernie around and around until he let go. Ernie landed in a nearby pillow factory.
"What the hell's the chances of that?" said Nope.
"Who cares? That was awesome, go get em' tiger!" yelled PBB. He flew over to the pillow factory and brought Ernie to the street.
"Speaking of Tiger," added Nope. "Remember when the Brady's had a pet dog named Tiger? Then it disappeared after the first three seasons?"
"Actually it was the first season." Franklin corrected.
"How do you know?"
"Cause' I have no life outside of T.V., movies and comics."
"Oh..."
By the time that pointless conversation was done, PBB had returned Ernie to his proper place. "So what about this diamond?" asked Nope.
Ernie was bleeding. "Alright. Look in today's newspaper on the second page. Youse guys ll' find it there. Remember, may the force be with you..."
"Alrighty then. You lead the way back to the ICBS, so we's guys can find the paper. Alright... Leia!? tehehe!" said PBB to Nope.
"You still haven't forgotten? Great goog what was I thinking atking these two?"
The three picked up the comics and returned to the comic shop.
LATER...
The troublesome trio just got in the ICBS, just after the other trio of JSTF members left to search for Nope, PBB, and Frankie.
Whil Frankie and PBB started the long chore of reorganizing the stolen comics, Nope grabbed the J Street Times and looked on page 2. "Ahhh... here it is! 'Come see the priceless White Diamond at the J Street Jewlers, today at 1:00 P.M.'" Nope read.
"Does everyone know what time it is?" said Franklin in his Heidi -from Home Improvement fame - morph!
"Tool Time?" answered Nope.
Nope, it's time to get our lazy asses out to the jewelers, and make sure that diamond stays in the right hands! That's what time it is!" corrected Franklin once again.
"Oh..."
Chapter 11: The Exquisite White Diamond
posted by SharpshooterJ Street Jewelers was located in the very upscale Beavery Mills section of J Street. Nope, PBB, and Frankie were amazed by the sheer volume of Jaguars, Mercedes Benzes, BMWs, and Rolls Royces in that part of town.
Nope lead the trio down Radio Drive . . . "Let's see . . . the Versace shop, the Gucci shop, the Louis Vutton shop. Ah! Here it is! J Street Jewelers!".
The trio prepared to cross the gilded threshold into the jewelery store. They were stopped by a burly guard.
"I'm sorry, gentlemen. I'm afraid you can't go in dressed like that.".
Paper Bag Boy peeked inside through a window. Everyone was wearing fine duds. It looked like a night at the opera inside the jewelery store.
Frankie was just beginning to morph into giant baseball bat to clobber the guard when Nope kicked him.
"Frankie, No!" Nope whispered, "We don't want to get into any more trouble.".
The trio left.
"What now?" asked Paper Bag Boy.
Nope scratched his head for a sec, "We've got to go back to Elsewear and borrow some fancy duds from $ugar Daddy.".
Frankie, rubbing his shin where he had been kicked by Nope, said, "But $ugar Daddy's with the rest of the team at that convention!".
Nope activated his hoverboots, "We'll just borrow the clothes without asking him and tell him about it later. C'mon!".
***************************************
At about this same time, EV, Mr. Excitement, and Yippy were returning at the ICBS.
"hey, the comics are back," exclaimed Impulse.
"Good grief!" exclaimed EV, "the place is a mess! And where is the terrible trio anyway? It's not closing time yet.".
Yippy found a newspaper at the desk, "Hey, guys! Look at this! D'ya think . . .?".
EV and Mr. Excitement read the article about the J Street Diamond.
They looked at each other in horror.
EV lead the way out the door, "Let's get to Beavery Mills, quick! Our guys might be getting into more than they bargained for!".
Chapter 12: Preppy Suits do come in Handy!
posted by Paper Bag Boy" I hate preppy clothes come on Nope don't make me wear them! please for the love of jell-o no man no!" pleaded Pbb as Nope picked out suits for the three of them.
" Ok fine but then you have to take the blame for every thing thats happen in the last half an hour!" said Nope with a coniving look on his face.
" I where the crappy clothes!" said Pbb putting on the so called "crappy clothes".
They put on the hover boots and flew to the J-street Jewelers.
" GIVE US ALL YOUR DIAMONDS NOW" shouted Eric as him and Baxter ran out the door.
" Xena warrior time guys lets go kick some Italian ass!" shouted Pbb as him and Franklin took out there weapons and flew to the ground slicing the thug's car in half.
" That's it you going down right now!" said Baxter who took out a Toast Master and shooting Pbb.
"SSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH-------------------------------------------!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Pbb in horror as he flew hundred feet back through a car, two buildings, and a tree.
" Pbb No you bastard!!" shouted Franklin cutting off Baxter's hand.
" Oh my god my hand it's gone I can't stand blood" gasped Baxter as he fainted.
Franklin ran over to the thought dead Pbb. "Buddy speak to me speak to me don't die !" almost cried Frankie.
" What a rush! I guess this material was stronger then I thought, look it's Toastmaster proof who would of thought " said Pbb kind of excitedly" but the cars and other things did hurt anyone got a band aid!" said Pbb.
" Hey you guys I think we are in trouble!" said Nope as Pbb and Frankie turned around only to see hundreds of thugs with ToastMasters Plus A's.
" Well its time like this when two words come to mind .....Oh sh--!" gasped Pbb.
Chapter 13: Where many ass kicking commence
posted by Paper Bag Boy" Hey guys your in deep sh-- we're going to kick your ass the whole lot of you!" said Frankie. Talking to the thugs with Toastmasters.
"HAHAHA...." started all the thugs when Blam they where getting slaughtered by the JSTF'ers. Most of them where down. But then Eric grabed the Diamond and jumped in a car and started driving away.
" Oh No you don't ....... CCCHHHHHIIIII SUPER-UP!" said Pbb becoming his super chi state. " Hey Frankie check this out " said Pbb as he picked up a Toastmaster and flew after the car.
" Oh no you don't he's mine" said Frankie turning on his hover boots and flew after the car.
Frankie caught up with Pbb. They were right on Eric's trail.
"Oh no you don't he's mine" said Frankie and Pbb simoetanesly as they both drew their weapons and readied to shoot the car. Pbb shot a bullet from the Toastmaster just as Frankie formed a blade and sliced the car in half!
" HEADS UP!!!" Screamed Pbb as he pulled Frankie out of the way of the Flying onslaught of car and and fire and Eric flew over them.
" Holy goog! " shouted Nope as he saw Ericr fly over his head!
The thugs where beaten and the Jstf handed them to the authorities. Pbb, Nope, and Frankie where searching the car pieces for the Diamond. They couldn't find Eric either.
" YOU guys have alot of explaining to do!" demanded Impulse.
" No time to explain we'll meet you guys back at the comic book store we got a meeting with the mayor!" said Nope as him, Frankie, and Pbb flew away towards the mayors office.
Chapter 14: The urben legend of "Fluffy"!
posted by Franklin M. Richards"Hello, my finely toned friend! My name is P.B.B.!" PBB said to a guard in front of the mayor's office.
"Peanut Butter Brittle?" said the guard, who was named Gary, but to his friends- Fluffy. It all happened one day in the lounge area of the mayor's office.
Two Years Ago...
Gary was causally walking, minding his own buisness, when he met up with a bunch of workers.
Gary was strong and well-built, altough not to bright! "Hello, Gary-I think it is?"
"Yes, that is me. I am Gary." answered Gary.
"Well...Gary. Listen, my little kid NEEDDDSSS, an Easter Bunny for her Easter party... and you look strong enough to fit into the bunny suit, and I've been eyeing you, and you're good with kids. So I've been wondering if you would fill the part as the bunny?"
"Ummmm.... o.k.!"
"Alright, you'll get 5 bucks an hour."
So next week Gary went to the party in his special suit. So he looked dumb? No one except the girl's father was there at the house. Gary rang the door bell; he felt a little shaky.
"Hello, Gary! Come in, the kids are over here."
Gary walked in causally, as if nothing but a bunch of kids would be right around the corner. He was wrong.
The lights were out as Gary turned the corner. Suddenly, the lights flickered back on, and ALL of the guys and gals from the office yelled, "Surprise!" Gary blushed in embarresment. Those bastards played a trick on him!
One of the workers yelled out, "Hey, 'Fluffy' and the name stuck with him ever since the trick.
Thus, came the legend of "Fluffy"!
Present...
"No! His name is Paper Bag Boy, and this is Franklin M. Richards, and I'm Nope. We are the JSTF."
"You guys downsized huh. All I remember is those fast guys and that pervert. Hahaha. He was my favorite!" said Gary.
"Typical" remarked that wise ass named Franklin.
"In other news, the JSTF were spotted trying to get past a guard named Gary, and trying to get into the evil felon named the Mayor. We will confirm more updated soon! Now, may we please get into the Mayor's office, pretty please!" PBB said while Frankie morphed his eyelashes to gigantic strands of hair, that wiggled up in down for an innocent look.
"Uh, hold on a sec." Gary walked over to an intercom.
"Mr. Mayor?"
"Yes, 'Fluffy'?"
"I've got some heroes from that team the JSTF? Would you like them to go in?"
"Sure. It must be urgent. Send them in."
"Ok."
Gary turned off the intercom and walked over to the trio. "All clear." he said.
"Thank you, citizen! You've been a big help." Nope rolled his eyes at his sarcastic sentence.
"The three stormed into the office, and Franklin shapeshifted into Ricky Recardo.
"Lucy, you'se got a lot of splainen' to do!"
Chapter 15: "Weren't you paying attention?"
posted by NopeThe air shook as, with an explosion of light, Impulse, Emerald Void and Mr. Excitement! appeared in the Mayor's office.
Emerald Void promptly doubled over and vomited, ruining an otherwise perfectly executed dramatic entrance. Fortunetly, there was no one to see it as the room they had entered was completely empty.
"Ooookay," said Impulse. "Are you sure they said 'the Mayor's office'?"
"Yep," said Mr. Excitement! "Hey, EV, cut it out, that isn't cool."
"Barf," said EV.
"Well, what do you expect, teleporting on a full stomach?"
"Hey," said Impulse. "Isn't this Nope's backpack?"
EV and Mr Ex! exchanged a glance.
"You don't think--"
"Naaaah!"
What, you don't know what's going on? Here, let me rewind the clock a ways.
* * *
the Mayor looked up. "Who are you? Why are you in my office?"
"Errr," said Franklin, "Just why are we in the Mayor's office? What has the Mayor of J-Street got to do with a stolen diamond?"
"Mayor of J-Street?" asked Nope. "Who said anything about the Mayor of J-Street? No, this is the Mayor's office."
"Errmmm, Helloo?" put in PBB. "Like, major self-contradiction, dude! Weird, why did I suddenly talk like that?"
"Look it's quite simple, after I found the buisness card in the car..."
"You found a buisness card in the car?" asked Franklin and PBB together.
"Yes, like the one I got from Eric."
"YOU GOT A CARD FROM ERIC?!"
"Sheesh, weren't you guys paying attention? Look, when Franklin knocked Eric into the air, he flew over my head. When he did so, he dropped this buisness card from his pocket." Nope presented the card to the other two. "Then, while searching the car, I came across a second card in Baxter's discarded jacket."
The card read:
~~~Thomas the Mayor~~~
Licenced Goods Handler
~~~~And~~~~
Trader of Rare Gems"At first I thought that the Mayor was just in it as the seller, before I remembered an article in the newspaper, the one facing the article of the J-Street diamond." Nope reached into his backpack and pulled out a copy of the paper.
"Hold on," said PBB, "if you had a copy, why did we go back to the ICBS to get one?"
"Yeah," said Franklin, "and how come Impulse and Co. know to turn up here? And what made me say that, since the other guys turnign up haven't happpened yet in current continuity and there is no way I could know about it?"
"Shut it, kids, I'm on a roll," said Nope. "Where was I? Oh yes. The newspaper article was on the local J-Street high school. It included the photo of li'l Johnny the Mayor, son of none other than Thomas the Mayor. Guess where you've seen this kid before?"
"He's the one they stole the comics for!" exclaimed PBB and Franklin.
"Eeeexactly," drawled Nope. "Obviously the Mayor masterminded the whole thing. Consequently, when we could find neither Eric nor the diamond, I realised they must have come here."
"Congratulations, Mr. Callahan," said the Mayor. "You have just wasted any advantage you might have had by recounting that exposition! Get them, boys!"
Six heavily armoured goons jumped out of nowhere at them.
"You all think you're rabbits," commanded Nope, lowering his shades.
Six heavily armoured goons crouched down on the floor and pretended to be little bunny-wabbits.
"Neat trick," said PBB.
"Thanks," said Nope. "Anyone got some Asprin?"
"Not so fast," yelled Eric, Ernie and Baxter running in through the doorway.
"What they said," added Fluffy - er, I mean, Gary, following close behind.
"...eeep..." they all said together as PBB's sword slashed through the air just milimetres from their respective necks.
"Hey," yelled Franklin. "The Mayor's gettin away! And he's got the diamond!"
"That's 'the Mayor' not 'The Mayor'," said the Mayor. Before the Mayor could move Franklin had morphed his hand into a lassoo and brought the man down.
The diamond tumbled from his hand.
"I'll get it," said Nope, handing his backpack to Franklin. "There's some handcuffs and rope in there somewhere. Tie these goons up."
"K.O," said Franklin. He reached into the backpack.
"There's something odd about this diamond," mused Nope. He raised it to the window to study it in the daylight; a shaft of sunshine reflected of its multi-faceted surface and caught Franklin and PBB right in the eyes.
Startled, PBB lowered his sword and Franklin dropped the backpack. Ernie, Eric, Baxter, Gary and the Mayor all jumped for the heroes. Nope dodged the lunge, but dropped the diamond which rolled towards the backpack. It hit a small gadget that had fallen out.
There was a quite beep.
"Oh, goog," said Nope, quietly.
There was an explosion of rainbow coloured light. It surrounded everything in the office, growing brighter and brighter until nothing could be seen.
Then it vanished into the backpack, taking everything with it. After a moment, the backpack stopped rocking, and everythign was silent and still, save for two last words that floated up from the backpack.
"Oh Sh-" said PBB...
Chapter 16: Wish
posted by Sharpshooter and NopeONE WISH
EV scanned the backpack with his Power Ring, "This diamond is some kind of mystic wish-granting device. Kind of like Aladdin's lamp, except it offers only one wish."
Frankie rushed up to the diamond, "I WISH I COULD BE THE LEADER OF THE JSTF!"
Nothing happened.
Except that the JSTF, especially Impulse, was glaring furiously at Frankie.
Frankie backed up sheepishly, "Heheh. Just kidding, guys."
EV continued, "Apparently, this diamond will only work for Nope."
Nope pointed at himself, "Me?"
EV nodded, "Yep, you. It's attuned to your unique mystic makeup. You've got one wish, Nope. Make it a good one.".
Everyone looked expectantly at Nope. Would it be World Peace? The return of friends long gone? The Crisis On Infinite Earths tradepaperback? A Batman movie that was actually good?
Nope opened his mouth slowly, "I... wish... "
* * *
ONE WISH
EV scanned the backpack with his Power Ring, "This diamond is some kind of mystic wish-granting device. Kind of like Aladdin's lamp, except it offers only one wish."
"Cool," send Nope. "I wish that instead of the store being robbed we'd had the best takings ever."
Nothing happened.
"Nice try," said Mr. Excitement!
EV continued, "Apparently, this diamond will only work for PBB."
PBB pointed at himself, "Me?"
EV nodded, "Yep, you. It's attuned to your unique mystic makeup. You've got one wish, PBB. Make it a good one.".
Everyone looked expectantly at PBB. Would it be the return of his parents? A new skateboard? Batman: Dark Knight Dynasty? Every issue of Scud, all of them signed?
PBB opened his mouth slowly, "I... wish... "
* * *
ONE WISH
EV scanned the backpack with his Power Ring, "This diamond is some kind of mystic wish-granting device. Kind of like Aladdin's lamp, except it offers only one wish."
PBB rushed up to the diamond, "I WISH I HAD A GAZILLION DOLLARS!"
Nothing happened.
Nope started laughing in the background, earning him a glare from PBB that could have stripped paint.
EV continued, "Apparently, this diamond will only work for Franklin."
Franklin pointed at himself, "Me?"
EV nodded, "Yep, you. It's attuned to your unique mystic makeup. You've got one wish, Franklin. Make it a good one.".
Everyone looked expectantly at Franklin. Would it be World economic stability? The release of everyone in illegal captivity? The sudden coincidental destruction of Area51 by a crashing UFO?
Franklin opened his mouth slowly, "I... wish... "
* * *
WISH
Nope paused. "There's something... not quite right here."
EV said"Make a wish."
"Yeah," said Franklin. "I mean, there was that explosion of light and we all... we all..."
Mr. Ex! said"Make a wish."
"The backpack!" exclaimed PBB. "Everything was being sucked into the backpack. Including us!"
Impulse said"Make a wish."
"What are Impulse and co. doing here?" asked Nope. "What are WE doing here? The Collector has a limited range, it couldn't have brought the entire building inside."
"Yeah," said PBB, turning to the other JSTFers, the diamond forgotten, "what ARE you doing here?" His sword weaved patterns in the air between them. "And wanted happened to that the Mayor guy, and the rest of them."
MAKE A WISH, demanded Mr. Ex!
"Why?" asked Franklin. "What's so important? Why should we make a wish? What's going on? And why am I doing such a good impression of the Question(?)?"
YOU WILL MAKE A WISH, commanded EV.
"I've had enough of the mind games," said Nope, softly, removing his shades. There was a dangerous edge to his voice. The room seemed to darken till Nope was nothing more than a silhouette. His eyes blazed with scarlet fire.
MAKE A WISH yelled Impulse.
"ENOUGH!"
At Nope's yell, the air around the three heroes trembled and warped, ripped apart to reveal a completely different surroundings. The furniture and stuff from the office remained where it was, but the walls and backpack vanished; the floor turned from office carpeting to broken stone.
"Holy Sh-" said PBB.
"Language," coughed Nope, staggering. He rubbed a hand across his mouth, grimacing when it came away bloody. "Who's got... the... diamond..." His voice came out as nothing more than a whisper, and he collapsed.
Franklin jumped forward and caught him before he could hit the floor. "Now what do we do? Nope's the only one who knows the way out."
I CAN TELL YOU THE WAY OUT, said a voice. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS MAKE A WISH; THEN I WILL BE FREE AND I WILL TAKE YOU HOME.
PBB searched around, but couldn't see anyone. "Who said that?" he demanded.
I DID.
The voice was coming from the diamond...
Chapter 17: Set in stone
posted by NopeThe three heroes were standing in what appeared to be a stone cavern, strewn with junk from end to the other. The J-Street Diamond was floating in the air before the two concious heroes. Nope was too out of it to care one way or the other.
"Who are you?" asked Franklin. "And what are you dong in that diamond? And what happened to Nope? And why am I STILL doing an impression of the Question(?)?"
YOUR FRIEND OVEREXERTED HIMSELF REMOVING MY ILLUSION. IT WAS UNECESSARY. I WOULD HAVE REMOVED IT MYSELF HAD YOU ASKED. I WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE WHILE YOU CONSIDER YOUR WISH.
"Who are you?" repeated Franklin.
I AM THE WIZARD T'NAFENELE PRIER, CREATOR OF STE JRET, ILLEGALLY IMPRISONED HERE BY MY EVIL COUNTERPART.
"T'nafenele Prier, creator of Ste Jret," repeated PBB, slowly. "Odd name."
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS MAKE A WISH, AND I WILL BE FREED. THEN I WILL TAKE YOU HOME.
"Okay," said Franklin. He reached for the diamond.
"Hang on," said PBB. "Hey, Naf, what will you do when you are freed."
I WILL RETURN TO MY HOME, AND BUILD MY POWER ONCE MORE; WHEN I AM STRONG AGAIN, I WILL SEEK OUT MY OLD ENEMY AND DESTROY HIM. HE IS EVIL INCARNATE AND SHOULD BE KILLED, BUT I WILL BE AS MERCIFUL TO HIM AS HE WAS TO ME AND I SHALL BIND HIM WITHIN THIS DIAMOND AS HE HAS BOUND ME. PERHAPS AFTER A HUNDRED YEARS OR SO HE WILL HAVE REFORMED.
"There's something not quite right about this," muttered PBB. "I don't know..."
"Wow!" said Franklin. "Is that an F-14? COOL!"
"...whether we should do it. If only Impulse or Sharpshooter were here. If only Nope was awake. If only... Did you say 'F-14'? As in the fighter plane?"
"Yep," said Franklin. "It's parked over there. Look at all this stuff. Baseball cards. Guns. Knives. Books. A copy of the TitansScissor, Paper, Stone Elsewords special, signed by Adam Warran. An elephant in a stasis chamber."
"An elephant in a stasis chamber?!"
IGNORE THEM, demaned T'Naf. THEY ARE INCONSEQUENTIAL. YOU MUST MAKE A WISH.
"Cool. The hypno-thingy Nope 'borrowed' from Roswell. That might come in handy."
"I think I've found the way out as well," said Franklin. "This appears to be some sort of dimensional portal creator."
"What makes you think that?" asked PBB, examing the small device.
"Because it has Mark-IV Dimensional Portal Creator written on the back."
FORGET THEM! yelled T'Naf. I WILL FREE YOU! JUST MAKE A WISH!
PBB looked at the F-14, then back at the portal creator. Then back at the F-14. Franklin followed his gaze.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" asked Franklin.
The two matched grins.
LISTEN TO ME! yelled T'Naf. YOU'RE MAKING A BIG MISTAKE! FREEEE MEEE!!!!
"Look," said PBB, "we'll take you back, show you to the others and..."
NO, hissed T'Naf. OUTSIDE THE DIMENSIONAL GRADIENT IS TOO HIGH. I CAN'T EVEN SPEAK OUT THERE. YOU MUST FREE ME NOW. NOWWW...
"You seem just a little bit too edgy for my liking," said PBB. "I don't trust you. I think we'll leave you here and..."
"Hey," interrupted Franklin, "Ste Jret is an anagram of J Street! That's a coincidence."
"Coincidence my foot," snapped PBB. "T'nafenele Prier... That's an anagram of Pierre L'Enfant, the wizard who created J-Street!"
L'ENFANT growled T'naf. MY ENEMY, A COUNTERPART FROM AN ALTERNATE DIMENSION! I WILL FIND HIM AND FORCE HIM TO WATCH THE DESTRUCTION OF ALL HE LOVES, THEN FEED HIM THE NETRAILS OF HIS LOVED ONE'S BEFORE I SLAUGHTER HIM SLOWLY OVER A PERIOD OF CENTURIES! MWA-HAHAHAHAHAAAAA.... ERR... heh heh heh ONLY JOKING? OH, BUG-
"Here's a whole new meaning to the phrase 'Baseball diamond'," sniggered PBB, picking up the slugger from a pile of junk. It made a nice hollow thud as it hit the diamond.
Y-Y-Y-OU B-B-B-BAA
"Tut tut," said PBB. "Language like that in front of a minor!" He swung the bat again.
i'll have ringing in my ears for days, just you wait and see, muttered T'Naf. well, i'll get you one of these days, you mark my words. ooh, my aching head.
"Come on,," said Franklin, "Let's get out of here. Help me get Nope in the F-14."
The two unceremoniously dumped Nope in the plane. PBB jumped into the pilots seat.
"You ever flown one of these before?"
"How hard can it be? Even if Nope is ignoring the fact that it only has one seat for the sake of the story. Hey, I think he's coming round!"
"franklin?"
"Yes?"
"shut the goog up. oy vey, my head hurts. where are--" Nope sat up and looked around. "Hey, what are we doing in my F-14? (And where did all these extra seats come from?) You better not--"
"Trust me," said PBB. He triggered the portal creator, and gunned the F-14 towards the swirling hole. "This is a piece of cake."
* * *
"Hey," said Impulse. "Isn't this Nope's backpack?"
EV and Mr Ex! exchanged a glance.
"You don't think--"
"Naaah!"
"Hey, can you hear a plane?"
The backpack shook.
Impulse, EV and Mr Ex! exchanged a complicated three way look.
"RUN!" Moving almost at light speed, Impulse grabbed EV and dived out of the nearest window and ran down the outside wall, defying quite a number of laws of physics. Mr Ex! blinked and teleported away.
The F-14 exploded from the back pack.
"Yeee-haaaah!" yelled PBB.
"WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE," yelled Nope, then wished he hadn't as his headache got worse.
The F-14 smashed through the wall and out into the open air, performed a perfect 360 loop and casually landed on top of Grendel's Pond Bar and Grill.
The three heroes staggered out to greet Grendel and Ozbat, who were staring at them in a state half way between paralytic shock and apoplexic anger.
"Err... hello?" said Nope.
"Nope."
"Yes?"
"GET YOUR GOOGING PLANE OFF MY ROOF BEFORE I KILL YOU!!!"
"Sorry."
THE END!
The Epilogue!
The ICBS
"So, that's the diamond returned," said Franklin. "And I mentioned the guy trapped inside to kevrhon who said he'll make sure T'Naf can never escape."
"And we returned those crappy clothes to $.Ds. He'll never suspect a thing," said PBB. "Especially since Nope payed to have them mended."
"I'm still not sure why I ended up paying for the suits you ripped," muttered Nope.
"We sent Impulse, Ev and Mr. Ex! back to the sales meeting, none the wiser," continued Franklin, tapping the hypnodevice significantly.
"And we've put all the comics back in their right places, and we've even managed to make enough sales in the last couple of hours to make it seem as if we've been working all day," finished PBB.
"Using my private comic collection, I might add," muttered Nope.
"So there's just one small problem," said Franklin. "Why is it that we all keep thinking we've forgotten something?"
* * *
Inside the backpack...
"So, what do we do now, chief?"
"Don't call me chief!"
"Want comix! Wanna read comix! Waaaah!"
"I'm gonna get that kid that did this to my hand."
"Smack, blam, right in the kisser."
"Eric, Ernie, Baxter?"
"Yeah boss?"
"SHUT THE GOOG UP!"
~The Real End!~