Favorite quotes
"God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs. Dinosaurs eat man; Woman inherits the Earth." From Jurrasic Park.
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." Brooke Shields, said to demonstrate why she should become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign
"Henry Kissinger said power is the ultimate aphrodisiac. And Bill Clin- ton said that knowledge is power. Therefore, logically, according to the U.S. government, knowledge of computers is the ultimate aphrodisiac. You could argue with me -- I'm just a cartoonist -- but it's hard to argue with the government. Remember, they run the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, so they must know a thing or two about satisfying women."-From the creator of Dilbert. To see the entire missive go to Men who use Computers are the new sex symbols of the 90's
"DOS addresses only 1 Megabyte of RAM because we cannot imagine any
applications needing more."
Microsoft, 1980, on the development of DOS
10) Hopes his beard will draw attention away from his constant silly smile.
9) He and Worf are having a beard-growing contest.
8) It helps hide the faint, hereditary birthmark on his chin that proves he's a werewolf.
7) Hopes to look scarier to hostile aliens.
6) Starfleet has bridge personnel hair quotas and he's trying to make up for Picard.
5) He thinks Troi finds it sexy.
4) (seasons 2 to mid-4 only) Didn't trust himself to pick up a can of shaving cream because the temptation to go and spray it at Wesley was too great.
3) Wants to look more like his hero, Ming the Merciless.
2) Every time he does, Q makes his beard grow back in five minutes as a gag.
1) Picard won't let him fire up his photon blade.
10. When filling out your driver's license application you give your IP address.
9. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is "Hi, what's your URL?"
8. Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends email.
7. You're amazed to find out spam is a food.
6. You "ping" people to see if they're awake, "finger" them to find out how they are, and "AYT" them to make sure they're listening to you.
5. You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every silly free T-shirt contest.
4. You introduce your wife as "my lady@home.wife" and refer to your children as "client applications".
3. At social functions you introduce your husband as "my domain server".
2. After winning the office super bowl pool you blurt out, "I feel so "colon-right parentheses!"
...And the number one sign you are an Internet Geek:
1. Two Words: "Pizza's Here!"