God, it was a date to remember. I honestly have no idea why I thought going out with someone stoned was just fine. In the end, however, I suppose it was what saved me. If he hadn't had enough shrooms in his system to be eating cow dung, he would have noticed that the small, six inch dragon that was laughing at him was a lot more tangible than he looked. As it is, I'm sure I'll be laughing about this someday. This wonderful evening began with me playing a not-so-fun game of tug-o-war with Braak. He seemed to think it funny that he was destroying an expensive set of hose. I, of course, did not. "Let go, you @*$!&-ing dragon!" "Hrr Hrr Hrr. Brrrk!" came the muffled reply. Eventually, the little fart let go, but the hose was already ruined. Quickly, I opted for the chic dress pants look. "I'll get you back when I get home," I yelled at him while trying to pull on the pants. I lost my balance and thudded against a wall, rearranging most of my internal organs. Braak fell on his scaly back, rolling with laughter. "Just you wait. You are going to die a horrible death, spitted on my balcony as a warning to other dragons who decide to disrupt my life anytime in the near future. And don't eat the nylon! I swear, you get three foot flame spurts every time you belch!" Braak, still inarticulate with laughter, did not comment. I heard a knock at the door, and we both froze. Braak dove into my closet as I opened the door. Josh stood on the other side, rocking back and forth on his feet. His clothing was no where as fancy as mine, and I had the sinking feeling that I was somewhat overdressed. "Dude, what's up with the pants? We're only going to a movie." "You said we were going to a restaurant," I panted, still tired from the quick change. "Do you count Burger King as a restaurant?" Sighing, I stepped aside and let him in. "I guess I do now. Wait here while I get changed." I walked back into my room and started pulling jeans and a T-shirt from the closet. Braak cooed at me, but I was in no mood to talk to him. "Cool!" a voice behind me said. I whirled around to see Josh standing right behind me. "You got a dragon in there!" Panicked, I tried to think of something to say, but he beat me to it. "Wow. Shrooms do great things to your mind. It looks real!" An idea hit me. "Dragon? Man, you are out of it. There's no dragon in there." "Really?" He reached out to tough Braak, and suddenly I REALLY worried. He may not trust his eyes, but his hands won't lie. If he feels a dragon, he'll know one really is there. Knowing this, I blurted out the first thing that came to my mind. "Wow, didn't know you liked Massengil. Do you know someone that uses it?" His hand shot back as if burned. "No way, man. I don't know nothin' about that feminine stuff. I... I think I'll wait outside." I pointed my finger at Braak, who viewed the scene with evident amusement. "You almost got caught, dearie. What do you think about that?" Braak giggled and nuzzled my outstretched finger. He projected a single thought: Faith. I sighed. "Don't make it hard on me, OK? If they find you, I'm in trouble and you get dissected. I can only do so much." The little dragon sobered a little and projected understanding. I felt love underneath the projection, and I hugged him. "I love you too, match breath." Braak snuggled me and cooed. All in all, the date was miserable. I ended up getting heartburn in the middle of the movie (Not really, but you can stand only so much from the incompatible, then you make any excuse to go home) and we left. He tried to kiss me at the door, but I mumbled something about heartburn being catching. Strangely, he believed me. Wow. Shrooms do great things to your mind. Sitting in front of the TV, I found a movie that was every bit as good as the one I had been watching. Braak came in a few minutes later, dragging a tin of popcorn behind him. The tin was one of the old stove top popping bags that ballooned out as the popcorn popped. He picked up the remote control and tuned into channel 10. "A Flight of Dragons" was on. I sighed. Then, suddenly I remembered something. "Hey, how did you get into the dorm kitchen? The window was closed." Braak looked at me, belched a three foot flame spurt, and winked. It was then that I noticed the waist band, and only the band, lying discarded in a corner. There were chew marks on it. "You're not sleeping with me tonight, that's all I can say." Braak said nothing as he ripped open the tin and munched busily on the popcorn inside.