Twas the night of my wedding when to all they announced,

My stomach was turning, my mother was saused.

My head was hung 'or the toilet you see,

For my stroll down the isle was now upon me.

My Aunt with her ladel was pouring the punch,

While I lay on my back loosing my lunch.

Granddad at the tape deck, let the music play,

A country western wedding was on tap for the day.

My Grandmother bedecked in her finest array,

Was sweeping and mopping, and orchastrating the frey.

My sister was in charged of the book for the guests,

And gladly took presents at my request.

Ted helped with the pictures and video that day,

While Dad in a daze wondered who else he must pay.

***

The cake arrived one layer short,

My Mom could have killed, at the bakers retort.

"Only two layers were ordered I know this is true,"

With my mom on his heels out the door he flew.

Back in a sec with his heart in his hands,

"Three layers were ordered I'll make amends."

In came the baker third layer in tow,

Then on the top ornament he dealt a great blow,

The procelin it shaddered, the pieces they flew,

Now he too was sick, my mother's rage grew.

"How much time do I have" he said with great hope,

My mother was mumbling "I'll kill the dope".

The top was replaced, and with a great sigh,

He said "Happy wedding to all and to all...goodbye".

***

Then the photographer, his equiptment was ready,

And my stomach now grew even more unsteady.

Stand here, sit there, now smile and look bright,

Look calm, look poised, don't be uptight.

All eyes were on me, the butterflies were churning,

I shook like a leaf, my head it was burning.

The filters were applied to the camara with care,

To overcome the hew of green that was there.

Then I in my gown in front of the crowd,

Let out a sound that echoed quite loud.

It reverberated, and bounced, and echoed around,

It rattled the windows, such a horrible sound.

A hush, a pause, then the crowd was aware,

A hickcup had left me and filled the air.

A testiment to my feelings of dread,

All I could think is "I wish I were dead!".

***

The time of the Ceremony was now at hand,

I now felt so bad I could hardly stand.

Now was the time for the pledging of vows,

My butterflies were now more like cows.

Churning, and weezy at my Dad's side,

The music started, and I took the first stride.

I wanted to get married, I love this man so,

But any minute now the crowd is going to know.

With first hand knowledge of my morning repast,

I could just imagine them all standing agast.

As I decorate my veil and gown that I wear,

With unspeakable images of gastonomic fare.

I took a deep breath and found that I stood,

In front of the preacher, right where I should.

Now I could see him, the man of my dreams,

As I listened and wondered, how very long it seems.

The preacher is saying many wonderful things,

And I try to listen as through the air they ring.

But please continue let me do my part,

Let me vow my love, let me speak from the heart.

And yet he continues, his words about love,

I need to laydown, someone give him a shove!

I do, that's the lines I must say,

But please lets go on I want to say them today!

And finally it's time to speak to my man,

To pledge him my trough and give him my hand.

I do, he does it's all been said,

Now I can go laydown in a bed.

***

The wedding was wonderful, my loved ones were near,

I vowed my love, to the one I hold dear.

The wedding night is upon us, words of love in my ear,

I reach out so gentally and draw the trash near.

I burst forth, the flood of an emotional day,

He gets drunk....AH!! That was my wedding day!

THE END