A Gift of Self--part two

by Jennifer Ferris

The lights were on in the captain's quarters, morning cycle. They'd thrown most of the covers off during the night. Janeway sighed, stretching against her first officer with the pleasure of long-denied luxury. She was on her left side, snuggled tight against Chakotay's back, feeling happy and sweaty and hungry. Her arm was numb, buried under him. She smiled. Hell of a way to wake up. "I could get used to this," she whispered to herself.

She'd thought Chakotay was still asleep, but he cleared his throat and said softly, "I hope so." He rolled over to slide his arms around her, his eyes sleepy, his face happy. He had a morning erection and pushed it gently into her stomach. "I don't want you to think I'm a one-night stand."

Kathryn levered herself lazily up, half straddling him. "Are you going to ask if I still respect you?"

His grin was beautiful. "Oh. I forgot. I was supposed to do that last night."

"Uh huh." She leaned down to kiss him, ignoring the faint morning breath that came from him or her, she didn't know which. "I'm never this cheerful first thing in the morning. It always takes me a little while to wake up. And I'm grumpy."

"You must have done something that agrees with you." Chakotay cupped her breasts, squeezing just a bit.

"I'll be right back." Janeway slid off him and swung her legs over the side of the bed. "I have to pee like you wouldn't believe." She leaned over and rubbed her face into the top of his head.

"Pay toll." Chakotay stroked her hair and kissed her as if they had all the time in the world.

She opened her mouth to him, still hungry, suddenly not thinking about breakfast. When they parted he rested his face in her neck, breathing her in. She felt a flutter begin deep inside her stomach. Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Don't go away."

"No." Chakotay released her, squashing the pillow under his head and watched Kathryn walk across her quarters. Her hips swayed more than usual, her movement seductive. He grinned into the pillow. She had to be doing that on purpose.

Janeway used the head, rinsed her mouth with toothpaste, pushed a hand through her hair and idly thought she should brush it out. The thought wasn't focused. She wandered back into her bedroom, wondering if Chakotay would like her to bring him some coffee. She nudged him with her hip and he sat up and put his arms around her. "My turn. We don't have to hurry this morning, do we," he murmured.

"No."

"Thank you for that." He nibbled softly on her ear.

She shivered. "I'm the captain...I'm supposed to think ahead."

"Yes ma'am." He abandoned her ear finally and kissed her again. "You taste fresh and clean," he said accusingly. "I should probably do something about that."

"Any time." She took his face in her hands and kissed him back, licking his lips, succulent and sweet.

He stood abruptly. "Save my place."

Kathryn lay back, feeling the faint warmth from his body, hands idly tracing a pattern on the sheets. She felt at ease, disjointed, a universe away from the concentrated activity of the bridge where she would normally be at this hour. Where she should be? She glanced at the chronometer. Good god. She hadn't slept this late since--well. They'd be back on duty soon enough. This stolen morning was earned. It was theirs.

When Chakotay came back to the bed he was carrying a cup of coffee. "Oh my," she said. "You know my price, don't you?" She accepted the cup and took a deep drink.

"Sure," he said lightly, slipping down beside her. "Hot coffee. Strong and black. Chocolate. A ride home." A pause. "I'm still working on the ride part."

"This'll do for now." Kathryn put the mug back on the night table. "And a very good morning to you, Commander. Have I said..." She blushed suddenly.

Disarmed, Chakotay pulled her close. His hand stroked her hair. "What? Tell me."

She shook her head, helpless for a moment. "It's like...this is the most natural thing in the world. Like this is exactly where we ought to be right now, together." She rolled against him, arms caught between them, hands resting on his chest.

"Yes. Yes." He kissed her with each syllable. "It is the most natural thing in the world. I'm so glad..." he sighed, not wanting to push. "I'm just happy."

"Um hmm." Kathryn shook her head. "Should I be polite and offer you breakfast?"

"No. Don't ever 'be polite'. All right?" Chakotay propped himself up on one elbow, looking at her intently. "Just be yourself. That's what I trust."

That moved her almost as much as his declaration of love. She touched his lips with her fingers. "Listen, there's something I forgot. Well, I didn't forget, but... I never got around to saying it. It's very important."

She looked so serious that Chakotay nodded, mentally bracing himself. "Okay. What."

"Kiss me first."

It must not be too bad then. He lifted his hands to her face, brushing her lips with his. "Tell me," he said again, whispering.

Janeway shivered at the touch but drew away, wanting to see him clearly. "You distracted me last night."

His thumb brushed her mouth. "And?"

"I love you. I didn't even say it. I love you."

Chakotay's eyes brightened impossibly and his arms encircled her, threatening to crush her. He buried his face in her hair, drawing a deep breath. "Kathryn."

"Yes, my love." She was so happy she thought her heart would burst, why was she crying?

"I...you..." He couldn't seem to find words. "God. All the gods. What have I done?"

That scared her a little. "Chakotay?"

But when he drew back he was smiling. "I didn't think it was possible to be happier than I was when I woke up. You..." The smile fading, he shook his head. "There can't be any more, I have everything now." He rolled them over so he loomed over her. "I have everything now." He seized her face in his hands. "I love you, Captain." His kiss was hungry.

When he drew away she was panting a little. "I've thought it at you a thousand times."

"I want a thousand more. I want everything." His lips began to wander, lingering on her neck, her shoulder. He sucked gently on her collarbone, teeth tickling her. "No," he whispered, speaking against her skin as she shifted toward him. "Don't move."

"With you doing that? I -"

Chakotay rose above her now, hands stroking gently. "Let me love you. Let me touch you." Kathryn lay back, watching him as his hands brushed her cheeks, slipping softly over her neck. He slowed at the tender skin on her torso, and bent to her, licking at her sternum, his thumbs circling her nipples. His lips replaced his hands and he sucked at her, teeth scraping with the lightest touch. Kathryn drew in a gasp and he stopped. "All right?"

"...all right? I'm...don't stop."

"Never." He kissed her right nipple, tongue teasing, and switched to the left. She could feel his smile against her skin. He licked the underside of her breast. Muffled, he said, "I'm never going to stop," and the vibrations as he spoke tickled her and she laughed, squirming. He pushed himself up on one arm. "You'll never be able to get me to stop. Eventually they're going to wonder what happened to us and Tuvok'll call down here and I'll tell him we're busy and-"

"Hush." Laughing, the captain of the Voyager tugged at Chakotay's arm, "You would. I can just hear you, you would-" and he plunged his tongue into her mouth. She met it with her own, tasting him, loving the feel of his mouth and his hands.

He broke the deep kiss finally, lingering over her lips for a moment. "I forgot," he murmured. "You're supposed to lay still. This is my turn."

"Oh god, how can I, you're driving me crazy."

"Not yet," he promised, planting a kiss on her shoulder. "But I will. You just wait."

Kathryn shook her head against the pillow, rolling her eyes, but her hands clenched in anticipation. He took that as his cue and picked up her left hand. He opened it gently, placing a kiss on her palm, then licked between her fingers. She shivered a little in surprise and he sucked on her fingers, nibbling gently with his teeth. "Ooh...that's just hands, how do you...?"

"Because. I told you. I want everything." Chakotay's face was serious. He laid her left hand down and picked up the right, repeating the caress.

No one had ever done quite this to her, it was the most incredible...it made sense actually, there are a lot of sensory receptors in the hands...she shivered again. Her legs shifted, brushing against Chakotay. She slid over a little, closer to him, watching his erection move gently as he leaned over her. There was a drop of moisture on the tip of his penis and she licked her lips, wanting to know his taste. "Come closer," she whispered, inviting.

He followed the line of her eyes. "Not yet, I'll never last that way. I want to make you come. I want to make you crazy."

"Without you? Come here." Kathryn shifted her hips in invitation, opening her legs a little further.

"Not without me. Just let..." and Chakotay brought his hands to her inner thighs, smoothing, drawing his short nails up over the tender skin at her hipbones. His fingers skimmed her hair, the feather touch sending shivers up her spine.

She sucked in her breath. Her hips circled once, lifting unconsciously toward him. Chakotay made a wordless sound in the back of his throat and stroked her inner lips with his fingertips. Kathryn moaned, just a little, and he leaned closer, face intent. He shifted, sliding down, resting his head on her thigh, concentrating as his fingers teased and slid over her sex. His thumb circled her, tracing her moisture, lightly touching but still moving, as she spread her legs wider. When he licked her, she gasped. "Oh, sweet...oh god, you're..."

Chakotay shifted again, sliding his hands under her ass to lift her slightly to him. He thrust at her with his tongue circling, listening to her breathing as it caught and released, caught and released. He used more pressure now, tongue dancing around her clit, stopping to blow warm air on her and catch her shiver. He groaned against her, gripping her thigh and her ass as her hips lifted and pushed back at him. "You're...I can't-"

"Yes, you can." He stroked downward, thumb still circling her. "Yes. I want it all." He moved back to her center, lapping at her, feeling the strong muscles in her thighs tighten around his head. Her hands clenched in his hair. "Aah-god. God..." her legs stiffened and she thrust her pelvis up, at his wonderful mouth. "God-god-aaahh-" He drank her in, squeezing her thighs hard, as her stomach tightened and her head snapped back. "Ooh-Chakotay-yes-I can't-AAHHH-" and her pelvis bucked at him, control lost, groaning, "Oh god, ah ah ah ah GOD!" The spasms locking her thighs, fists pounded into the bed.

Chakotay rode it, tongue stroking her, his own breath in harsh gasps, her muscles locked around him. He slowed, and kissed her, sagging slightly to rest on her thigh again.

Kathryn tried to speak, breath still only sobs. "Oh. Oh. God. Oh." Slowly her hands opened and she tossed her head, her hair caught and sweat running down between her breasts. "Oh love. I..."

Chakotay raised himself on shaky arms and enfolded her. "Sssh."

Her heart pounded against his chest. She rolled close, sliding one leg between his. "Oh. Oh..." She reached for his erection, throbbing between her fingers. "Let me catch my breath."

"Wait. Shhh. We have all the time in the world." He kissed her sweaty forehead, licking at the salt as if he were a hungry animal. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes bright, all his senses alert.

"God, Chakotay." Kathryn reached to hold him close, wanting to hug him with her whole body. "You're so beautiful."

He started in surprise, his dimples showing. "I'm supposed to say that to you."

"Well, you are. And you know it. Don't tell me there haven't been people panting after you the whole time."

"All right, I won't." He raised himself above her, grinning.

"Pretty full of yourself, aren't you, mister." Kathryn opened her thighs to him, nudging under him to fit his penis close to her.

"Right now I could-" he closed his eyes involuntarily as she pushed upward on his cock, her lubrication easing the movement. "Aah..." his hips shifted, sliding in and out, "...I could lick the world."

"I feel like you just did," Kathryn laughed, but her voice was a little shy.

"Oh. Oh. There--" Chakotay closed his eyes again. When he opened them he stared into her eyes, his mouth open a little, breathing deep. "You make me feel-"

"What?" Kathryn spread her legs as wide as she could, pressing her arms against the mattress for leverage. She rode with him. "What?" her voice a whispered invitation.

He shook his head helplessly. "I don't know. Give me time. I'll think of the words."

"You do all right." She arched her neck, gasping. For a few minutes, a long time, she didn't know, she just existed with him, her brow creased in concentration. "Ooh. Yes-oh. Oh--oh--god, I love you."

He reacted helplessly to her words, pausing in mid-stroke, then slamming hard against her. His rhythm faster now. He shifted his weight onto his knees, raising her up a little. Fucking her as if his life depended on it. "Come on...yes..." His movements short and hard as he held her hips, his lips drawn back in a rictus of control. Sweat dripped off his face and chest.

Kathryn was murmuring now, just his name and the heat focusing in her, the breath she couldn't catch. "Cha..kotay...oh OH OH..."

He slammed forward, on top of her, thrusting uncontrollably. Her cunt spasmed around him and he threw his head up, gasping, "Oh FUCK I'm gonna come I can't-" his hips pushing blindly at her heat, unable to stop, the orgasm exploding through him.

When he could see again he was crushing her, panting into her shoulder. Kathryn lay under him, plundered, hair awry, cheeks wet. "Oh god, did I hurt you?" He started to pull away, shaking his head in apology.

"*Hurt* me...?" Kathryn chuckled low in her throat, her breath still shuddering. "My god. Oh boy, did you not hurt me."

"Okay...that kind of...got to me," Chakotay sagged beside her, completely spent.

"Umm...hmmm..." she shook her head on the pillow. "We have definitely got to make up for lost time." She drew herself up raggedly and collapsed on top of him, nose to nose.

"Woman-"

"What." She drew her lips over his cheek, then rested her face there. "God. I'm..."

"Hmm?" Chakotay's hands idly stroked her back as he panted to catch his breath.

"I don't know, I'll think of something. But they better watch out, that's all I can say." Eyes still closed, Kathryn smiled hugely.

" 'They'?"

She waved that away. "Whoever. Whomever?" She giggled.

"Kathryn. You're giggling. You don't do that."

"Don't tell anybody. Then again, I don't do this, either." She drew a lazy hand down Chakotay's torso and gave his penis a friendly squeeze. He shifted under her and pushed up into her hand, reflexively. "You're greedy."

"Um hmm." But he sat up halfway, holding an arm around his captain to keep her from sliding off him. He kissed her softly. "You taste good. All over."

She licked at his lips. "You didn't give me a chance to return the favor."

"Then you owe me one." He squinted at her. "We have lots of time now."

"Um hmm. Not all of it this morning, though."

"I suppose."

"Besides..." Kathryn levered herself up, using Chakotay as a fulcrum. "Aren't you hungry?"

"Now that you mention it...yeah."

"Me too. Let me get you something." She slid off the bed and leaned over him. "What would you like?"

Her breasts were only inches from his face and he yielded to temptation, squeezing one and licking her nipple. "What do I want?"

"God, you can't be serious. I don't know if I'll even be able to sit down. And sooner or later, we've got to get to the bridge."

He made a face at that, kissed her breastbone this time, and got up. "You've made your point. All right, Captain," he said, swinging his arms around her for a hug, then releasing her, "what would you like for breakfast?"

She leaned on him for a minute more, then reached up to kiss his chin. "Surprise me. I'm going to take a shower. Maybe you could get another cup of coffee. We can share."

By the time Kathryn emerged from the bathroom, her wet hair up in a towel, wrapping her bathrobe around her, Chakotay had two cups of fresh coffee on the table, a basket of small eka rolls, and a generous omelette on her plate. "Damn, that looks good. I didn't realize it..." she blushed a little bit, to her surprise, "but I'm starving."

"Can't have that," Chakotay shook his head. "Got to keep up your strength."

"Yours too," she agreed, sliding a bare foot up his calf.

He grinned. "But you're the captain. God knows what your crew is likely to ask of you."

"There's that. Here, have some, this is good." She broke off a bite of the flaky roll and pushed in into his mouth. He took it, nibbling her fingers in the process. She looked at him with a grin, and then at herself. "Good god."

"What?" To her amusement, Chakotay leaned back in his seat, perfectly composed, eating his breakfast as if he were in the mess hall and it were of no consequence.

"Um...I was just noticing the contrast."

"Of?"

"Oh, where I was a week ago, what I was doing...what I've been doing the last few hours...and going to the bridge as soon as I finish cleaning up. You know. All that."

He shrugged. "You're the captain. You set the rules. And you haven't had a morning to yourself in...how long?"

"Oh, I'm not feeling guilty. Quite the contrary. I was just imagining going up there with you and...working through our shift. For the next several years."

"Hold that thought." Chakotay raised himself up out of his seat and leaned over the table to kiss her. Then he sat back down and picked up his roll. "I don't see the problem."

"Um hmm. Well, I did it on purpose." She looked at Chakotay out of eyes slightly narrowed. "I knew what I was letting myself in for. Can you see Tom Paris when we get up there? Doesn't even matter what we were actually doing."

"Audacity, Kathryn. Something you always manage to find. I love you for that, too."

"Thank you." She calmly drank her coffee, her eyes twinkling. But as she swallowed she sputtered a bit. "Oh, my."

"Hmm."

"Tuvok. He's such a dear. I know you don't think so. But he knew exactly what I was doing last night."

"Exactly?" Chakotay's dimples showed again.

Kathryn ignored that. "I mean when I called him. Oh, I haven't told him anything. But he's known me for a long time. I don't suppose he was too surprised."

Chakotay couldn't pass that up. "I was."

"Oh, love." She wanted to apologize again, but that would serve no purpose. She couldn't change the past. And she had been right, well, she had thought so at the time.

He was smiling, shaking his head at her. "Stop it, I didn't mean it that way. Just that you're better than you realize at keeping your thoughts to yourself."

"Oh. I hope so." She cast a glance at the disheveled bed, then upward as if she could see the bridge from where she sat. Then she looked at Chakotay, sitting at her table eating breakfast, wearing only his skin and a grin on his face. "Oh boy do I hope so. If you think the crew was watching us before..."

"And they were."

"And they were," she agreed, "What do you think they're going to do now?"

"Well..." he finished his roll and glanced around for a napkin. Kathryn reached back to grab a tissue. He wiped his lips, crumpled the paper, and stood up to clear his dishes. "I think we should probably finish cleaning up, I'll grab a shower and a clean uniform, and then-let's go find out."

"All right." Kathryn stood up and watched as Chakotay shoved their dishes in the recycler. "God, you're handy to have around."

He grinned and slipped his hands under her robe. "You're just now figuring that out? Maybe you're not as smart as I thought."

"I'm smart enough to know a good thing when I...um...get it," she said, kissing him once and then again as if she'd just discovered she liked it.

Chakotay leaned into the kiss, pulling the towel from her hair and brushing the damp strands away from her forehead. "Do we really have to-"

"Yes, we do," she sighed against his mouth. "I don't think I'm quite prepared to make a full day of it. Not and have to explain myself."

"You don't have to explain anything, you're the-"

"Hush," she said, placing her finger against his lips. "Go get cleaned up. Come back when you're ready, I want us to go on duty together."

"Kathryn," he said, smiling at her, hand under her chin, "not only do I love you, but you've got balls. Well-" he shook his head helplessly as she laughed. "You know what I mean."

"Of course I do. I'm the captain. Biggest balls on the ship." She kissed him one more time, open-mouthed. When she broke the kiss she was smiling. "Hurry up. I want to get to the bridge."

"I'm with you, Captain."

THE END

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