Future's Beginning
by Leslie Magowan
Author's Note/Disclaimer:Yes, I'm afraid it's another bathtub story! This is my first piece of fanfic; I came in late in the game, and I'm still trying to catch up.
Your Cruise Director wrote a piece a few weeks ago called "Future's End" and posted it on her web site. She labeled it "majorly depressing", and it delivered as advertised. Several servings of chocolate later, she posted "Apotheosis" and labeled it "To Hell with Canon." I felt much better after I read that, and I decided that "To Hell with Canon" was definitely the way to go.
I suggest that we all start viewing what pops up on our screens each week as raw material to be mined as we see fit for alternative universes of our own, and stop trying to reconcile it with canon at all. If TPTB ever smarten up, we can always rejoin them later, but the spirit that kept Star Trek alive all those years when there wasn't any, can keep it alive in spite of them, too.
I'd love feedback, whether you like the piece or not; I'm open to just about any form of constructive criticism. Also, I'm not really sure if I've got the formatting and posting thing nailed down yet, so if I've done anything that makes it harder to read, please let me know.
There's absolutely no plot in here; it's basically just J/C NC-17 smut with a few threads to segue it from canon into AU. If you have a problem with this, stop reading now, press delete and don't bother telling me about it!
Oh, yeah.....I'm supposed to be sure to include my acknowledgement that Paraborg owns everything in this universe, including these characters. I do know it - I just don't care; in my universe, they were assimilated long ago. My writing of this story is not intended to affect either their bottom line or my own.
~*~
Kathryn Janeway strode purposefully out of the turbolift and down the corridor of the officers' quarters deck, nodding cheerfully at passing crew members. She reached her quarters, keyed in the code, and entered with a confident stride...until the door closed behind her; then she exhaled with a whoosh and leaned against the bulkhead.
What a day: contact with the Alpha Quadrant after four years, a new enemy to worry about, a mixture of good news and bad. The former Maquis members of her crew were mourning the destruction of their cause back home, but most people's spirits had been lifted by the messages from family and friends, even hers. Why was she feeling so disquieted?
It could have been Mark's message... He was genuinely happy that she was all right, but he wanted her to know that he had moved on with his life when he'd thought she was dead. He wished her equal happiness.
She was rather surprised that once she had got past the initial twinges of sadness, she was happy to hear that he was married and not waiting for her. That would have been an intolerable burden; she'd realised as soon as she'd had time to think about it that it had been over for her for a long time. She would always love him, but he simply wasn't part of her life anymore.
There: everything had worked itself out neatly. So why was she feeling so restless?
She wandered aimlessly around her quarters for a while, ordering an herbal tea from the replicator and putting it down after one sip. Then she heard the sound of movement in Chakotay's quarters, through the bulkhead. What was he doing, she wondered? How was he dealing with his news? What had changed for him? Or for her......?
Enough of that; time for a bath, she thought bracingly. She started the water, added the bubbles and lit the candles before going back into her bedroom to undress. Into the silk robe, with it sliding over her skin as she made her way back to the tub.
As she sank into her haven, she felt some of the pent up tensions begin to leave her body, and then her mind. She lay her head back on the edge of the tub and let the water soothe the back of her neck. A curl escaped its confines and fell down over her eye, and then another one over her neck. Damn! Ever since she'd cut it on impulse, it had been much harder to keep pinned up.
She couldn't even remember exactly why she'd decided to cut it on the spur of the moment, but she could certainly remember Chakotay's look of shock when he'd first seen it. On second thought, maybe that was why. A way of punishing him for going against her orders with the Borg, for Riley Fraser .....another way of pushing him away from her. She felt like crying, just thinking about it. She stopped trying to push her hair back up, and let it droop into the water.
Chakotay: what was different about him? Nothing; he'd hardly even seen him since the messages had come through. It was she who was different. Mark was no longer an excuse, but she'd known that at some level for a long time.
When the Doctor had delivered the message from Starfleet Command, her knees had nearly buckled in relief: relief that she was no longer the only one anywhere in the galaxy responsible for bringing her crew home. The only one in the Delta quadrant, maybe, but at least Starfleet would be reaching out to them from the Alpha quadrant.
And maybe not the only one in the Delta Quadrant, either. Pushing Chakotay away hadn't made either one of them stronger, or brought them closer to home, or made life any better for their crew. The energy that had gone into keeping him at a distance since New Earth would have been so much better spent on building their relationship, on giving each other strength and support. And love.
Everything appeared to her in a different light since the messages had arrived, and she found herself wondering why she'd ever thought otherwise. She thought of all the mistakes they'd made with each other in the last few months, and began to cry.
Chakotay: had she pushed him so far away that he wouldn't come back? She knew he'd still wanted her desperately for a long time after they'd returned from New Earth, but she hadn't seen any sign for a long while that he still did. She cried harder.
On New Earth, it had taken her a long time to give up her obsession with her sole responsibility for finding a cure and getting them back to Voyager, but once she had, she'd been able to let Chakotay in to fill her heart and enrich her life.
Contact with home had relieved her of that sole responsibility once more, and she'd been able to draw her first free breath in what seemed like ages. It was ironic; only now did she realise that while trying to be strong and responsible for her crew, she might have destroyed the one relationship she wanted and needed to help her do it.
She hadn't let herself think about what she'd put him through by cutting him off from her emotionally during the strain of the last few months. Maybe it was too late; all they seemed to know how to do anymore was fight. Maybe he'd given up. Or maybe she had.
Only one way to find out:
"Janeway to Chakotay."
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ."Chakotay here, Captain; what can I do for you?"
Her heart skipped to make up the beats it had missed. "...Chakotay .....are you alone?"
Another silence. "Uh ...yes."
"..............well ........I'm calling to ....apologise to you."
".......are you crying?"
".....um ........yes."
"What's wrong? And what do you have to apologise for?"
........
"Kathryn, what is it?" His voice softened. "Do you want me to come over?"
"No, not yet ....let me finish first; then see if you still want to come over."
" ...............all right."
"Ok......." She took a deep, unsteady breath, and began. "I'm sorry .....for pushing you away after we returned from New Earth; it was terribly unfair to you, and .......again after the alien tried to take me into the matrix; you reached out to me, and I cut you off ..............and for accusing you of not trusting me, and leaving me alone ................for all the times I've hurt you ...............and hurt myself in the process." She was crying again.
"Oh, Kathryn ....I'm sorry, too ..........what do you want to do?"
" .................I want to let myself .........love you .......and let you love me ....and go on together..."
" .....are you finished?"
"... wha.....?"
"Apologising."
"....oh ......yes, I guess so."
"Good, because I still want to come over....." She could hear the smile in his voice.
She gave a shaky little laugh and wiped at her eyes, and he heard the water splashing.
" ........are you in the bathtub?"
"...mm-hm......."
"Any monkeys around?"
She laughed out loud at that. "No, I don't think so."
"Oh, good .....any towels?"
" .....actually, now that you mention it, I forgot about that; I could go and get one if you'd like."
"Hmmm ....that's certainly a tempting offer .....you'd have to get out of the tub, though, and I know how easily you get cold."
"You could warm me up......"
"Yes ...I could .........are there bubbles?"
"Yup!"
"Oooh ...we didn't have bubbles on New Earth; maybe you should just stay right where you are, and I'll bring you a towel." She could hear the teasing in his voice, as well as the excitement.
"Is that what you want?"
"Yup!"
"Well, hurry up, then! Janeway out."
She wrapped her arms around herself and shivered in anticipation. Just as she'd warmed up the bath water and added some fresh bubbles, she heard the door to her quarters slide open.
She lay back against the tub, took a deep breath and waited for him to appear at the bathroom door. It finally opened, and he stood there for a moment, just looking at her. The eagerness in his face had replaced the weariness that had been there for so long. She smiled and held her arms out to him, and he dropped the towels and came and knelt beside her on the floor.
She held his face in her hands and kissed him gently, a touch of healing and promise. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck and shoulder while she drank in his scent; she had forgotten how strongly his scent affected her, how it changed subtly as he became aroused, and again as he neared orgasm, and how it flooded her senses with him.
She pulled back slightly and smiled at him with all her desire in her eyes. "I got your shirt wet." She slipped her hands down from around his neck, and began to unfasten it slowly, sniffing at him and pressing kisses into his throat and chest as she did so.
He kissed her gently, and stood up to remove the shirt, smiling down at her in that way of his that made her heart stand still. She ran her hand up his strong thigh and over the beginnings of an erection, and stroked him gently through his pants with her thumb; he sighed in pleasure and closed his eyes. Then he stepped back out of her reach and began to remove his clothing, one piece at a time.
She lay back against the tub again and watched him while he held her eyes. He knew she loved it when he stripped for her, and he enjoyed it along with her. By the time he was finished and stood naked in front of her, she was breathing hard through parted lips, and he was getting hard from the intensity of her gaze.
He stepped into the tub at the opposite end as she continued to fill her eyes with him; he eased himself in, and slowly stretched his legs out on either side of her. She draped hers over his thighs and felt the disturbed water lap at both of them, and her legs drift upward into the bubbles; he'd remembered that she loved that, too.
She reached down and stroked his left kneecap lightly with her fingertips, savouring the feel of his calves cradling her hips. He ran his right hand slowly up her leg, and moved his thumb gently over her skin. She moved her other foot ever so slightly to caress his ribs, while she watched his face.
They lay together like that for a time, enjoying the feel and sight of each other. Then he slowly and deliberately shimmied lower in the water so that his hips moved even closer to hers, and smiled at her again in challenge.
She answered both his smile and his shimmy, and slid down until her chin was immersed in bubbles and his thick cock poked up from between her legs. His balls pressed up against her swollen lips as she arched against him, and she reached down over his bent knees to grasp his thighs with her hands and pull him firmly to her.
"Mmm ...," they both moaned softly, wanting more.
She began to grind her hips against him in small circles, and he rubbed up against her until the waves began to slosh bubbles into her mouth. They both laughed, and he held his hands out to her.
She took them, and he waited until she managed to plant her feet on the bottom of the tub beside his hips. Then he pulled her toward him until she floated into his lap, straddling him, with his cock pressed between their bellies this time. It felt like coming home. Experiencing all of him again with all of her senses, after so long, was incredibly erotic; the feel and smell and sound of him were building up a long, slow, deep arousal in her.
"Cha ko . .tay . . .," she whispered against his mouth, and felt his heart pounding against her breasts as he kissed her back.
They rocked together gently for a while until she slipped her arms from around his neck and ran her hands over his chest, kissing him deeply. When she moaned deep in her throat and trailed her hands down his belly to explore his erection, he broke the kiss, lay back and opened himself for her, breathing hard.
She rediscovered the feel of his beautiful cock, hard for her, the expressions on his face when she stroked him and found the most sensitive places, and the sounds he made when he liked what she was doing.
His arms slipped around her to caress her back from hips to shoulders, as she squeezed him and rocked her hips against him, rubbing her swollen sex up and down the length of him. She slipped one hand up to cradle the back of his head while she leaned into him to kiss him over and over: his half-closed eyelids, his tattoo, his earlobes, his jaw line, and then back to his open lips.
She darted the tip of her tongue between his lips to meet his, just as she ran her thumb into the groove in the tip of his cock; his reaction was instantaneous and gratifying.
"OHH!!" His hips jerked violently beneath her, sending water slopping onto the tiles. One hand plunged down between his legs to clutch her wrist and pull her away from him, while the other seized her hips and pinned her down on his thighs to immobilise her. He panted hard in an effort to regain control, and she leered in lust and triumph as she felt his cock jump and twitch against her belly.
She leaned her head against his with her hands on his neck, and held perfectly still for him. After a minute, he groaned and let his head drop back against the tub. He smiled ruefully at her as he tried to slow his breathing down.
"What are you trying to do to me? At this rate, I won't last long enough to be any good to you at all."
"No, it's my turn; I want to love you first tonight." She stroked her thumbs over his ears. Then she grinned wickedly at him. "Besides, ...it's part of the apology; you really ought to enjoy it, because I don't apologise very often."
He grinned back at her. "The water's getting cool."
"Oh well; I wasn't really up for getting pumped full of bubbles anyway." He let out a shout of laughter, took her face in his hands and kissed her nose.
"Where?" he whispered.
She took quick stock of their options and their levels of arousal. "The floor," she decided quickly.
"The floor it is, my captain," and he kissed her again, quickly.
She wrapped her arms and legs around him, and he thrashed around until he'd rolled up onto his knees, and then out of the water to a standing position. The deed wasn't accomplished without a great deal of spilled water and giggling, but he managed to step out of the bathtub with her and carry her past the huge puddle on the floor to the doorway where he'd left the towels.
All the jostling was making her nipples rub up against his chest, and his erection rub into her belly, and the contact sent shivers through her as she clung to him and squirmed.
"Whose quarters are under yours?" he asked breathlessly, as he tried to spread the towels out on the floor without dropping her.
"Uhh ...I have no idea ..why?"
"Whoever it is probably thinks it's raining by now."
"They're going to think it's a major storm in a little while!" she cackled, and nipped his ear.
He jumped, and tightened his arm around her waist to keep from losing her, and she rubbed her wet pussy up against him. "Cut that out!" he growled, and bit her lightly on the shoulder as she moaned.
He finally got the towels spread out, got down to his knees with her, and lowered her onto their impromptu blanket with his hand cradling her head. The candles which hadn't been swamped during their exit from the tub flickered their light onto the walls of the still-steamy bathroom, and there was just enough to see each other by.
He began to lower himself onto her when she reached down and grasped his cock with one hand, and tried to roll him onto his back with the other on his shoulder. "Taste! I knew I forgot something!"
"We can do that later," he groaned. "Kathryn, I can't take any more... I need you, now." He kissed the ear he was panting into.
"Now?" she teased, arching against him.
"Ohnhh! ...uh-huh!"
"Well, then ....," and she brushed her lips across his.
He groaned again, and pulled her head up to him to deepen the kiss. As his tongue found hers, he ran his free hand down over her breasts and belly, and slid his thumb over her slippery clitoris. She gasped into his mouth, and rubbed herself up against his hand.
"Chakotay .....NOW!!"
She wrapped her legs around his and arched up for him, and he slid into her easily. She smoothed her hands down to his ass to pull him into her, and moaned with pleasure to feel him filling her again.
He groaned as she ground her hips into him and panted, and she buried her nose against his neck and breathed in his scent; it had changed, and she felt her muscles begin to grip him in involuntary response.
He, in turn, felt her tightening around him and knew what she wanted next: he rolled his hips into her, and then ground against her clitoris in a circular motion before withdrawing to do it again, and again. As he moved in her and on her, her sounds fuelled his own arousal.
He loved hearing the sounds she made when he pleased her. He knew that she was totally unaware of most of them, but it was at these moments that she was most freely herself, and that was what he'd missed most about loving her. He wished he could make it last, kiss and touch her everywhere to show his love for her, but he knew he wouldn't be able to hold back much longer.
When her cries became shorter and higher pitched, he began thrusting into her harder and faster, until she was screaming and clutching at his back and he could feel her spasms clenching and releasing his cock. He let his voice and his spasms join hers, and fell into her completely.
When he became aware of himself again, he was lying with his arms and legs tangled up with hers, and his face buried in the crook of her neck. He kissed it tenderly, over and over, until she began to stir against him, and then he rolled over and pulled her with him so that her head could rest on his shoulder. She draped her leg across his hips and snuggled into his arms with her hand planted on his chest, in the way he liked so much.
They were each humming and sighing softly with contentment, and stroking whatever parts of the other they could reach without moving too much, so as not to disturb their lazy euphoria.
Kathryn finally rose up on one elbow and pressed her nose into the hollow above his collarbone, breathing in the changes. She was smiling when she lifted her head, and she continued smiling into his eyes as she moved her hand up from his chest to stroke his lips with her forefinger. Even in the glow of the one remaining candle, he was dazzled by her as always, and he wondered if he would ever get over his reaction to seeing her like this: happy, sated and carefree, even if only for a few minutes each time.
She cupped his face with her hand and brushed his lips very lightly with hers; it sent a shiver through him, as always. When she pulled away slightly, he reached up to her and brushed her back, smiling against her lips. They both smiled again at this fulfillment of their ritual, and Kathryn's hand slid down to his shoulder.
"This floor is getting harder by the minute."
"And colder," he agreed, drowsily. "Think we can make it all the way to the bed?"
"Would you like me to carry you this time?"
"No, thank you; I don't want you to be too tired later." He rose to his knees and reached down for her.
"Later?" He slipped his arms under her shoulders and knees and scooped her up.
"Yes. Later. I believe we made some definite plans for later."
"Ahh!" she murmured as comprehension dawned. She wrapped her arms around his neck. "That's true; we did."
He got to his feet and headed for the bedroom. When he reached the bed, he managed to get the covers pulled down far enough to deposit her in it. She lifted them up a little further so that he could slip in beside her, and then pulled them up over both of them. She snuggled into him with her head on his shoulder and draped her leg over him again, and when she was settled, he wrapped his arms around her.
She kissed his chest as she began to drift off to sleep, and whispered, "Later..."
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