I sing a tale of one brave soul
Who tried so hard to reach his goal
Of ranking with the Val elite,
But mudding was no easy feat.

One day, our hero got equipped.
His armor donned, his weapon gripped,
He pondered what to kill that day--
A gnome? A dwarf? An elf at play?

But then he heard the sound of feet
On route to pass right by his seat.
So quickly clicking on the screen, he
Hid the game from Mr. Sweeney.

But Sweeney passed without a glance.
Our hero knew he had his chance
And so he bravely sallied forth
To slay the gnomes. He ventured north

And came across a Tribal Guard.
He grinned and thought, "It won't be hard
To massacre this wimpy gnome
I'll rip him up! I'll send him home..."

Then suddenly, he heard the sound
Of heavy footsteps coming 'round.
"Alt-tabbing" to another screen, he
Hid the mud from Mr. Sweeney.

But Sweeney passed him by again.
Our hero spied an easy win.
He bit the guard to start the fight
The gnome was angered by the bite

And turned in fury on his foe.
He dealt our man a fearsome blow.
Our hero rallied, puncturing him--
When from behind he heard, "Ahem!"

Embarrassed, looking up, he spied
Boss Sweeney standing by his side,
And jumping up to hide the screen, he
Asked him, "Sir, you need to see me?"

His boss appeased (our man explained
The Internet experience gained),
He then sat down to read his scroll
And saw his corpse upon the knoll.

"You die," it read, "You're feeling strange--
You see your body." What a change
From what he saw before the break!
He cried, "There must be some mistake!"

Now you can laugh, and you can scoff
Because he left his wimpy off,
But learn a lesson from this scene he
Once played out with Mr. Sweeney:

"Involuntary idleness is dangerous at best
So if your boss is often near, you'd better play a guest."