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It's late and I'm waiting for a certain NFS server to come back from the
dead so I can save the file I was working on when it died...

There follow the X-Report nominations I've had lying dormant in the dark
recesses of ~/XREPORT for quite some time, because they (according to a
superficial check with the aid of Dejanews[1]) haven't appeared in an
X-Report. [I may have sent them to xreport@thepentagon.com, in which case
if they weren't lost y'all might see some duplicates one day.] I couldn't
allow my appreciation to be repressed any longer.

=====

The first Repressed Award goes to quokka for her helpful interior
decorating hints:

~Date: Fri, 02 Apr 1999 01:22:41 +1000
~From: quokka <quokka@speednet.com.au>
~Subject: Re: TAN: NatGat mascot

Annette Fraser wrote:
> 
> Robert Whyte wrote:
> >Kenneth Alexander Finlayson wrote:
> >> Lynne wrote:
> >>> 
> >>> As $teve has volunteered to be the Official NatGat Mascot, does this
> >>> mean we can get him stuffed?
> >> 
> >> Lynne: I want to stuff him.
> >> Ken: I can tell.
> >
> >Lynne: I want to mount him on a wall...
> 
> Been there, done that ;-)

Then you can't have used nearly enough nails.

=====

Next, Demosthenes leads us on a terrifying journey inside the minds of
Fox executives, uncovering a plans for an XF spin-off series:

~From: "Demosthenes" <demosthenes@cybergal.com>
~Subject: Re: EX-FILES FANS GET FREE MONEY
~Date: Mon, 12 Apr 1999 22:32:57 +1000

Meerkats Rule wrote in message <01be83d9$65ec9d20$382e11cb@default>...
>DWill21348 <dwill21348@aol.com> wrote in article
><19990409211624.02129.00000834@ng-fr1.aol.com>...
>
>> I found this on a bulletin board and decided to try it. A little
>> while back, I was browsing through newsgroups, just like you are now,
>> and came across an article similar to this that said you could make
>> thousands of dollars within weeks with only an initial investment of
>> $6.oo! So I thought, "Yeah right, this must be a scam", but
>> like most of us, I was curious, so I kept reading....
>               etc.....etc.....yadda.....yadda....yadda....
>
>The Meerkat is a little confused...
>What is an EX-FILE?  An XF fan? An ex-XF fan? Is Ex-Files a new show?  A
>satire of XF? A mispelling by a sad individual who wants to suck us
into
>another get-rich-quick scheme?

The EX-FILES: A XF/Melrose Place crossover. M&S fight constantly over
Diana Fowley, Ed Jerse and the alleged contents of Mulder's video
collection. Scully goes off with Alex Krycek in a huff and Mulder
eventually comes to terms with his repressed attraction to Walter
Skinner and AD Kersh.

Frohike becomes a porn king, making megabucks from a skin flick
starring CSM, Diana Fowley and Marita. When his erstwhile colleagues
attempt to blackmail over his past life as a hacker, he sells them out
to the MMBH (who is actually Samantha).


Does this help your confusiuon at all?

=====

The third Repressed Award goes to Ken for taking all the fun out of
research:

~From: kaf03@uow.edu.au (Kenneth Alexander Finlayson)
~Subject: Re: x-files fan needs help!
~Date: 23 Apr 99 02:35:27 GMT

Dear "Who" (if that is your real name),

I also have some questions.

Does your university have an ethics committee, and did they authorise
this survey?

How will your survey be representative, when with a little effort people
can respond multiple times, giving contradictory answers, under false
names?

What assurances can you make regarding confidentiality of results, seeing
you ask some reasonably personal questions?

Do you expect people to give honest answers about sexual attraction to
DD/GA when the answers will not be anonymous?

Why did you send this request to aus.tv.x-files? Are you aware that this
is an Australian X Files group? Why not send this message to alt.tv.x-files
instead?

And finally, a spot of advice: I have a very limited statistical
knowledge, but I would say this is a very poorly designed survey. What
constitutes `a lot' of merchandise? Two items? Five? Ten? You say you seek
the reasons people watch the show, but you only ask about one (sexual
attraction to the stars), unless you expect people to generously supply
other reasons in the `What do you get out of watching the X-Files?'.
And so on.

This is very important for my continuing trouble-making, so if you could
help me out, I would really appreciate it!

=====

(Hmm. Only three awards.)

This is a test of the X-Report publishing system. Had this been a real
X-Report, I would have complained about the lack of nominations. But since
there's noone to blame except me, I won't.

The important thing
is that the server's up now
Good night to you all. [2]


[1] The new layout of which didn't suck as much as I expected after all
the comments I've seen on the subject.

[2] This would make more sense if you're Quokka or Demosthenes and
remember a comment I made in #atxf on Tuesday night. (But it would still
be stupid.)

-- 
Adam Fitzpatrick
	


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