Home > X Reports > The Robin Harrison Picture Show
ATXF and Robin Harrison present..
THE ROBIN HARRISON PICTURE SHOW
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(A very cheap rip off of a very cheap movie.)
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---> AT XF X-report <---
Robin H was killed,
To keep the X Report thrilled
But he told us.where to go!
And Tim Quinn was there
Without his underwear
Steve Leahy was the magical gnome
Then something went wrong
$teve broke out into song.
He got caught in an X-report Meme
And then from the alt group
There came some real fruit loops
And they spoiled the season 4 dream.
AT XF X-Report
Doctor $teve will have a, retort.
See newbies lurking
Matt and Tracey
Steve Turtle will post
Something 'race'y
O O O O O
At the always late
AT XF
X-report
And from season 6
Chris Carter played some tricks
And the show wasn't one that I'd known.
And I was really a mess,
When I saw Tracey's breasts
Create an innuendo all of their own.
Sebby-Chan said spammers
Drove him bananas
And removing them took just one post
But when threads become merged
And all clarity's purged
Your brain feels like old soggy toast.
Like [reading] a .
AT XF X-report
Doctor $teve, will have a retort.
See newbies lurking
Matt and Tracey
Steve Turtle will post
Something 'race'y
O O O O O
At the always late
AT XF
X report
I wanna be,
Me Me
In the always late, AT XF X-report
By RAH
In the always late, AT XF X-report
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(The lips fade into a scene at a local church, with a couple leaving after
just being married)
Dregs: I guess we finally did it, huh.
Matt: I don't think there's any doubt about that. You and Holly
have been almost inseparable since you had that operation
performed by Dr Turtle.
Dregs Well to tell you the truth, Matt, that's the only reason I
showed up in the first place. [thinks]
Well, that and the free food.
Dregs: Well, so long, seeya around Matt.. Missing you already.
Come on Holly.
(Dregs and Holly drive away in a car that is labeled "Just insane")
Tracey: Oh Matt, wasn't it wonderful. I can't believe it, just
an hour ago she was just plain old Holly Anderson,
now she's Holly MacGuffin
Matt; Everyone knows that Holly is a wonderful little cook.
Tracey: Yes.
Matt: And Dregs, he'll be in line for some speech therapy soon
Tracey: Yes.
Matt: Hey Tracey.
Tracey: Yes Matt
[someone hits the 'fast forward' button]
Crowd: HEY!!! What the hell you think your doing?
Projectionist: You've seen how bad Matt's acting is, do you *really* want
to hear him sing?
Crowd: Good point, lay on MacDuff
[The scene becomes a jumbled blur as Matt dances around in a graveyard
singing 'Racy Tracey']
[picture slows as Matt and Tracey kiss after becoming engaged]
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{The woman you are about to see has NO &%$#@ING NECK, but a great @#%%able
ankle.}
Annette (as the Criminologist):
I would like, if I may, if I can, to take you on a trip,
It seemed a fairly ordinary night when Matt and his fiancee Tracey, two
slightly ab-normal, net-addicted kids left Brisbane, that late February to
visit Dr Stephen Turtle, ex-tutor, and now friend to both of them. It was
a night out, a night out, a night out they were going to remember for a
very long time.
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[Bill Clinton speech on the radio]
Clinton: I did not have sex with that woman. To have sex with Hillary is,
however, abhorrent to every instinct in my body. But as
President, I must put the interests of America first. America
needs a full-time president, one without a fetish for cigars.
(Matt snaps the radio off)
(A racing elephant runs by the car)
Tracey: Gosh, that's the 14th elephant that's passed us. They're
certainly taking their lives into their own hands!
Matt: Yes, life's pretty cheap to those elephants.
(BOOM)
Matt: We must have had a blowout. Dammit {Janet...ooops, wrong movie}
Hmmm. that bavarian castle a few miles back might have a 'net
connection we could use. Or at least some free beer.
Tracey: I'm going with you.
Brad: Oh, no, darling, there's no sense in both of us getting
abducted by EBE's.
Tracey: I'm coming with you! Besides darling, the owner of that phone
might be a beautiful lecturer and you might never come back.
(Matt laughs)
Tracey starts to sing
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CROWD: HELP!!!!!
(The Projectionist fast forwards and Matt and Tracey dance around like
fools in the rain)
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Matt: That's why, I'm siiiinging in the rain.
Annette: And so, it seemed that the luck of the penguin god had smiled on
Matt and Tracey.. Or had it??
Tracey: Oh Matt, I'm scared, lets go back.
Matt: Hang on Tracey, they might just have a 'net connection.
(Matt rings the doorbell)
Molo: Hello.
Matt: Hi, my name is Matt, and this is my fiance Tracey. Our car broke
down a few miles up the road, and I'm wondering if I could check
my email.
Molo: I think that you had both better come inside.
Molo: You've arrived on a very special night. It's one of the
master's tutorials.
Tracey: Oh, lucky him.
Vanessa: You're lucky, He's lucky, I'm lucky, we're all lucky!
[Vanessa cackles like an evil witch]
Vanessa: This is lucky Phil. [old joke]
(clock chimes 10 times) (note: the clock reads 13 o'clock)
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---> The Quotewar <---
Molo: Its eternal
Quotes are endless
Insanity, is the key.
But post carefully.
Vanessa: Not for very much longer!
Molo: I've got to, post some more.
I remember, posting to QUOTEWAR:
thinking, in those moments when
The lyrics would hit me
And the void would be calling
All: Let's do the Quotewar again.
Let's do the Quotewar again.
Annette: Its just a post to the thread.
All: And then a response in rhhhyyymmmeee
Annette: With the tag on your posts
All: You get them out in tiiime
but it's the one-hit wonders, {group post, group post}
That really drive you inssaaaaaannneee
All: Let's do the Quotewar again.
Let's do the Quotewar again.
Melanie: Well I was lurking on the group, just reading in terror
When this weird old guy, he found a gramma error
He freaked me out, he made an All-stars quote
So I showed him my pic of the 'Its Tim' float
I made a post, and I felt a change
Sanity meant nothing, never would again
(Melanie tap dances)
{Don't fall, don't fall. ohhhh}
All: Let's do the Quotewar again.
Let's do the Quotewar again.
Annette: Its just a post to the thread.
All: And then a response in rhhhyyymmmeee
Annette: With the tag on your posts
All: You get them out in tiiime
but it's the one-hit wonders, (group post, group post)
That really drive you inssaaaaaannneee
All: Let's do the Quotewar again.
Let's do the Quotewar again.
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Tracey: Matt, say something. (whispered)
Matt: Say, do any of you guys know how to kill a +9 demon with a
Vorpal sword?
Tracey: Matt, please, let's get out of here.
Tracey: It seems so unhealthy here.
Matt: It's just a gathering, Tracey.
Tracey: Well -- I want to go.
Matt: Well we can't go anywhere until I get on the 'Net.
Tracey: Well then ask someone.
Matt: Just a moment, Tracey -- we don't want to interfere with
their celebration.
Tracey: This isn't the OBSESSE channel Matt.
Matt: They're probably just Americans with ways different than our
own. They may do some more thread dancing.
Tracey: Look, I'm cold, I'm hungry, and I want to see some wrestling!!
Matt: I'm here -- there's nothing to worry about.
(Tracey screams and faints)
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---> Weird Lecturer <---
$teve: How do you do, I
See you've met my
Faithful ADMIN man
He's just a little upset
Cos when you de-lurked
He thought you were a Ratboy fan
Don't get strung out
By the way I act
Don't just a book by its cover [unless I wrote it]
I'm not much of a man, by the light of day
And by night you'll just find another
I'm just a weird lecturer,
From Marketing, Griffith Uni.
Let me show you a thread
Maybe, help you play dead
You look like you're both fresh newbies
Or if you want something aural
That's not too choral
We could play with some Furbys
Matt: I'm glad we caught you here, could we have some beer? We both want
to get pissed.
Tracey: Right!
Matt: We'll just say where we are, then go throw up near the car, we know
we won't be missed.
$teve: Well you're in the middle of nowhere, well do I look like I care?
Well honeys, don't you worry, by the word of the bird, it'll all be absurd
I'll get you a Trekkie, geek-techie
I'm just a weird lecturer,
From Marketing, Griffith Uni.
Why don't you stay for a post?
Molo: Post
Or maybe a boast
Melanie: Boast
I could show you my favourite obsession
I've been making a boy, to use as my toy
And he's good for relieving my
Tension.
I'm just a weird lecturer,
From Marketing, Griffith Uni.
$teve:
I'm just a weird lecturer,
Melanie: Danny: Gestalt:
Weird lecturer,
$teve: From Marketing
Melanie: Danny: Gestalt:
Griffith Uni.
So, come into my room
And see why it's a tomb
I see you shiver with anti-,
pation.
But maybe NatGat
Didn't cause all that
So I'll remove the Corrs
[evil laugh]
But not the Simpsons!
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[Steve leaves the newcomers in the hands of his servants]
Melanie: You're very lucky to be invited to $teve's office.
Some people would sell their souls for the privileged.
Matt: People like you?
Melanie: Hah! *I* study here.
Molo: Come along - the master doesn't like to be kept waiting
[The elevator rises and they pass levels full of lighted pineapples shaped
like dildos, the lingerie department of Victoria Secret, and $teve's sock
drawer]
[They arrive in the middle of an operating theater]
$teve: Melanie, Vanessa, help Molo.
Molo: Everything is in readiness, master.
$teve: Cool.
No speeches tonight, guys.
Molo, do it. Step the generator up, 3 more Doritos!
[colorful fluids, etc. in the order Red, Orange, Yellow,
Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet]
[Robin wakes up emits some guttural sounds like he does ]
[first thing in the morning ]
$teve: Oh Robin!
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---> The bane of ATXF <---
Robin: The bane of ATXF is hanging over my head
And I've got the feeling that someone's
gonna be plonking the thread.
Oh, woe is me, my life is a misery.
Oh, can't you see, that I'm at the start of a pretty long dayyy
Robin: I sent a letter, but auspost strapped it to a fish!
All: (That is a crime!}
Robin: And it left me feeling like I was going to be a main dish!
All: {That is a crime!}
All: Sha-la-la-la that is a crime.
Robin: Oh ho no no
All: Sha-la-la-la that is a crime.
Robin: Oh ho no no
All: Sha-la-la-la that is a crime.
Robin: Oh no no no
All: Sha-la-la-la that is a crime.
Robin: Oh no no no
All: Sha-la-la-la that is a crime, Sha-la-la-la that is a crime,
Sha-la-la-la that is a crime, Sha-la-la-la that is a crime
$teve: Oh really, that's no way to delurk!
[Robin looks ashamed]
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