Home > ATXF > Limerick Contest 1996-1997 > The ATXF Roll-Call
Authors: Annette Fraser and Steve Leahy
Rank: 1 / 3
The people who hang round this group
Are a very esoteric group
The X-Files are rarely
Discussed, if so, barely
There's no crap to which we won't stoop.
It's hardly a strenuous chore
To add extra posts to QUOTEWAR
The quotes are so many
They're worth two a penny
Yet Alys finds it such a bore.
The X-Reports come every week
They're polished, well-written and sleek
They distribute prizes
In all shapes and sizes
They're certainly not for the meek
With Daniel's mind down in the dirt
And Marcus thinking he's a shirt
And that Steve with a beard
All these people are weird
No wonder my brain starts to hurt.
In Melbourne there's Holly who squeals
She doesn't disguise how she feels
About GA or Dana
She can't make it plainer
That to her, what they've got, appeals.
In Brisbane they have lovely Nina
Whose strange posts do nowt to demean her
They also have Alys
Who'll pike folks with malice
To defend even Babylon's cleaner.
Ken comes from down in the 'Gong
It's his fault this limerick's so long
When you look at the wit
We've seen fit to submit
You'd best hope your stomach is strong.
Now Sydney gatherings were but a few
At which could be found Canberra's Hugh
But from Antti and Steve
There was no reprieve
Haven't they anything better to do?
There's slash Matt who always seems keen
And Waz whose job keeps him quite mean
When you put them together
They're birds of a feather
The likes of which haven't been seen.
There's Kheldar whose puns make you groan
And the Merchandise Queen on her throne
They're both penguin obsessed
With GIPs rather impressed
(GIP2's whereabouts are unknown)
Now a number of folks are irate
About the changes Brian's made to X-Rate
But amid all this pain
He's been heard to explain
That it makes it easier to collate.
With her ISP "down with the flu"
Quokka had very little to do.
Not that it matters
But she noticed The Platters
Have been added to the F A Q.
Rob Whyte's got his own TV show
Awaited by those in the know
Assisted by Slifox
It'll soon be on the box
The Fifth Dimension - go go!
The Oracle's been in conversation
I think he must lack inspiration
He's having a chat
With himself! Think of that
Perhaps he needs incarceration.
To invoke Kirsty, you need to exclaim
Not just once, but again and again
Press shift-1 five times
Hope your limerick rhymes
And prepare to be shot down in flames
Just when we thought they were all dead
Another Yorkshireman thread rears its head
It usually starts with a Steve
Ends with "...they won't believe..."
Before becoming a mutat-o-thread.
To Hampster and Muskrat and Lynny
Add Spinster and Vixen and Lizzie
Don't forget to add noodle
Lyndal's nicknames are plural
It's enough to make anyone dizzy.
Now Lyndal's a bit of a twerp
When she answers long posts with just 'slurp'
You'd think for a change
She'd improve on her range
With maybe a 'drool' or a 'burp'.
Intensity's sigs are quite charming
The design can be rather disarming
But with many around
A few people found
Their proliferation alarming.
Be careful about what you say
Don't type anything in the wrong way
Or with a flash and kabam!
Will come Daniel Lam
To bring innuendo into play.
Steve Turtle's the man with the phone
Without it he doesn't leave home
He thinks it's quite dandy
To keep his phone handy
With a mobile you're never alone.
I've struggled on beyond belief
To find words which will rhyme with Leith
I just want you to know
That the old TV show
"A Family Affair" starred Brian Keith
Our token New Zealander's Gene
To spammers he oft vents his spleen
He lives in great hope
Of a big telescope
To discover things as yet unseen.
Long after we've all gone to sleep
Come posts from the Groper of Sheep
It might seem quite disgusting
Till you realize his lusting
Is all aimed at Little Bo Peep
Ralph is a real Wonder Llama
He obviously has real good kharma
He buys lots of things
Cards, mags and key rings
But he says his new daughter's a charmer
Now /Matt's read the signs in the spore
That it's time for another FLAMEWAR
But he's threatened to pinion
Any SlurpMinion
Who quotes our young pedivore[1]
The old ghost of JJ still lingers
And types with ethereal fingers
It gave his life zest
To discuss Scully's breasts
He thought that they're major humdingers
Alas, we've now run out of time
To find more words which we can make rhyme
After all these limericks we've wrought
We'll leave you with this thought:
What if Scully'd been played by Fran Fine?
[1] ie Foot eater :-)