"Merry Yule," said the Dragon

"Merry Yule," said the Dragon

The season of the Advent is upon us.

The New Year will be here soon.

"We are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at christmas time." Laura Ingals Wilder

Welcome! I have decided that the cards are marked for perserverance and joyous change beyond adversity. In honor of the season I shall offer differing views in respect of the holidays. If you find something is missing please don't hesitate to ask for it, Mikhala will be happy to post it or a link.

I am one of those wacky people who is a ChristoPagan. I do not profess any knowledge on the subject... only that I do not always subscribe in whole or part to ALL of either. It is only a label. I believe that what I stand for can be summed up by the following quote by a famous American:

"We did not weave the web of life;
We are but one strand within it;
whatever we do to the web we do to ourselves;
all things are bound together,
all things connect."

- Chief Seattle

Stress...Christmas style.

Not long ago or far away, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip...but there were problems everywhere.
Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular elves so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mother was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More Stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
So frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he found the elves had hit the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from. Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said: "Where would you like me to put this tree Santa?"
And that my friend, is how the tradition of placing a little angel on top of the Christmas tree came to be.

The Dragons are Singing Tonight

Tonight is the night all the dragons
Awake in their lairs underground,
To sing in cacophanous chorus
And fill the whole world with their sound.
They sing of the days of their glory,
They sing of the days of their glory,
They sing of their exploits of old,
Of maidens and knights, and of fiery fights,
And guarding vast caches of gold.

Some of their voices are treble,
And some of their are deep,
But all of their voices are thunderous,
And no one can get any sleep.
I lie in my bed and listen,
Wnchanted and filled with delight,
To songs I can hear only one night a year -
The dragons are singing tonight.

- Jack Prelutsky

How God Made Kittens

I think I know how God made you,
With your little elfin face.
He took a tiny pansy
That bloomed with extra grace,
And added twelve white whiskers
And shiny topaz eyes,
An extra touch of velvet
For some snall child's surprise.
He took some little stickers
From a wee, wild baby rose,
And made some teeny mittens
And a tiny, wet, pink, nose,
A bit of love and beauty,
Some playful, soft allure,
And hid inside you a purr-box
Filled to the brim with purr.
A little bell of silver
He gave for your meow.
"I'll give the world a kitten
To go with its Bow-wow."
He said, "I've made a doggie,
Kids need a kitten, too!"
And so God gave to children
The precious gift of you!

- Louise Weibert Sutton

The Earth's Hibernation

The days shorten,
winter grows near,
the temperature drops,
and snowflakes appear.
Quickly but slyly
the snowflakes creep,
covering the ground
as the earth goes to sleep.
They rest there all winter
not making a sound,
waiting for the sunshine
to awaken the ground.

- Allison Arnold

Who Can Retell

Who can retell the things that befell us, Who can count them?
In ev'ry age a hero or a sage comes to our aid. Who can retell the things that befell us, Who can count them?
In ev'ry age a hero or a sage comes to our aid.

Ah, at this time of the year in days of yore, Maccabees the temple did restore.
And today our people, as we dreamed, Will arise, unite and be redeemed.

Who can retell the things that befell us, Who can count them?
In ev'ry age a hero or a sage comes to our aid.

- Hanukkah song

Christmas Comes Softly

Christmas comes softly to the waiting heart.
In candle's glow and star and ringing bell.
Across the snow glad welcome lights the way
to hearth and home where joy and laughter dwell.

If what we are and what we hope to be
could be one thing and that one be true,
it would be Christmas Eve ---a waiting world ---
and loves great miracle forever new.

- Carol Bessent Hayman

Christmas Eve

It's the eve before Christmas,
A magical time
Of carols and candles
And church bells that chime.

Thinking of Christmases
Now and to come,
Of holly, of ivy,
of choirs and psalms.

Of doorbells and laughter,
Of families drawn nigh,
Of one shining star
In a frostbitten sky.

May we, like the wise men,
Still follow the star.
See after the vision
That beckons afar.

- Kay Winters

My Favorite Things

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens.
Brown paper packages tied up with strings.
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple struedels.
Doorbells and sleighbells and schnitzel with noodles.
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings.
These are a few of my favorite things.

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes.
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes.
Silver white winters that melt into spring.
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the dog bites - when the bee stings.
When I'm feeling sad...
I simply remember my favorite things,
and then I don't feel so bad .....................!

- Sound of Music

Country Christmas

The country keeps Christmas with quietness, drifiting
Snow over hills and through valleys, lifting
Above the woodland, moon and star
To shine down where sheep and cattle are
Huddled together in dark humps, sleeping.

While over the hills, the cities are keeping
Christmas with singing and ringing bells;
Through country sky a silence swells
And is rife with mystic things
Like the pause after angels fold their wings!

- Helen Harrington

PG-13

This is intended as a Joke. No offense to any party is meant. Apologies in advance :)

12-Days of Christmas letter from Santa

Dear ___(fill in name)_____,

I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this year, and since you have, I will be telling my elves to make some goodies for me to leave under your tree on Christmas.

I was going to bring you all the gifts from the "Twelve Days Of Christmas", but we have had a little problem up here; The twelve Fiddlers fiddling have all come down with V.D. from fiddling with the ten Ladies Dancing, the eleven Lords a Leaping have knocked up the the eight Maids Milking, and nine Pipers Piping have been arrested for doing weird things to the seven Swans a Swimming, And the six Geese a Laying, four Calling Birds, three French Hens, two Turtle Doves, and the Partridge in the Pear Tree have me up to my butt in bird crap!

On top of all this, Mrs. Clauss is going through menopause, eight of my reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined Gay-Liberation, and those damn terrorists have hijacked my sleigh again!!!

Sincerely,

Santa

_{***This letter was edited for blatant vulgarity.***}

TO: All North Pole Employees

FROM: The Executive Steering Committee

SUBJECT: Downsizing at the North Pole

The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have elected to take the early retirement package has triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about other restructuring decisions at the North Pole.

Streamlining was appropriate in view of the reality that the North Pole no longer dominates the season's gift distribution business. Internet online shopping, home shopping channels, and mail order catalogues have diminished Santa's market share and he could not sit idly by and permit further erosion of the profit structure.

The reindeer downsizing was made possible through the purchase of a late model Japanese sled for the CEO's annual trip. Improved productivity from Dasher and Dancer, who summered at the Harvard Business School, is anticipated and should take up the slack with no discernible loss of service. Reduction in reindeer will also lessen airborne environmental emissions for which the North Pole has been cited and received unfavorable press releases.

I am pleased to inform you and yours that Rudolph's role will not be disturbed. Tradition still counts for something at the North Pole. Management denies, in the strongest possible language, the earlier leak that Rudolph's nose did not get that way not from the cold, but from substance abuse. Calling Rudolph "a lush who was into the sauce and never did pull his share of the load" was an unfortunate comment, made by one of Santa's helpers and taken out of context at a time of the year when he is known to be under executive stress.

As a further restructuring, today's global challenges require the North Pole to continue to look for better, more competitive steps. Effective immediately, the following economy measures are to take place in the "Twelve Days of Christmas" subsidiary:

The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree never turned out to be the cash crop forecasted. It will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, thus providing considerable savings in maintenance.

The two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is simply not cost effective. In addition, their romance during working hours could not be condoned. The positions are therefore eliminated.

The three French hens will remain intact. After all, everyone loves their eggs.

The four calling birds were replaced by an automated voice mail system, with a call waiting and call forwarding option. An analysis is underway to determine who the birds have been calling, how long they talked, and if they used 10-10-220.

The five golden rings have been put on hold by the Board of Directors. Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could have been negative implications for institutional investors. Diversification into other precious metals as well as a mix of T-Bills and high technology stocks appear to be in order.

The six geese a-laying constitutes a luxury which can no longer be afforded. It has long been felt that the production rate of one egg per goose per day is an example of the decline in productivity. Three geese will be let go, and an upgrading in the selection procedure by personnel will assure management that from now on every goose it gets will be a good one.

The seven swans a-swimming is obviously a number chosen in better times. The function is primarily decorative. Mechanical swans are on order. The current swans will be retrained to learn some new strokes and therefore enhance their smooth transition into another occupational field.

As you know, the eight maids a-milking concept has been under heavy scrutiny by the EEOC. A male/female balance in the workforce is being sought. The more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no upward mobility. Automation of the process may permit the maids to try a new field of endeavor like: a-mending, a-mentoring, a-mud wrestling, a-washing, etc.

Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number. This function will be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps with their walkers.

Ten lords a-leaping is overkill. The high cost of lords plus the expense of international air travel prompted the Compensation Committee to suggest replacing this group with ten out-of-work congressmen. While leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, the savings are significant because we expect an oversupply of unemployed congressmen this year.

Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple case of the band getting too big. A substitution with a string quartet, a cutback on new music and no uniforms will produce saving which will drop right down to the bottom line.

We can expect a substantial reduction in assorted people, fowl, animals, and other expenses. Though incomplete, studies indicate that stretching deliveries over twelve days is inefficient. If we can drop ship in one day, service levels will be improved.

Regarding the lawsuit filed by the attorney's association seeking expansion to include the legal profession ("thirteen lawyers a-suing") action is pending.

Lastly, it is not beyond consideration that deeper cuts may be necessary in the future to stay competitive. Should that happen, the Board will request management to scrutinize the Snow White Division to see if seven dwarfs is the right number.

North Pole Management

Carol of the Bells
is the midi playing now

"I have always thought of christmas as a good time: a time when men and women seem to open their hearts freely, and so I say, God Bless Christmas!" - Charles Dickens

For more my New Year's page.

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